posted on Oct, 5 2008 @ 02:03 PM
There is in the end, nothing wrong with sex if your of an age to desire and have sex.There is this whole take advantage of philosophy if a 16 year old
girl makes love to an older man.
But I have known the stories of the loss of virginity and sexual experiences of many 16-18 year old girls andfrom in thier own age group, most of
those stories are horrific by comparisson
Loss of virginity behind the dumpster at circle K, screwed in a room at a party and the door is kicked open humiliating her, gotten drunk in the woods
and used by multiple teens...on and on
It's not much a wonder a 16, 17 year old girl might choose an attractive intelligent man in his 20's 30's 40's
I'm 38, I know how I treat a woman now and at 17... how much sex I was having with how many women, what my std risk coulkd have been then as oppossed
to now (not by %) but... just what I do in a 3 month spand before i'd ever know... the safety of my home, money...
Frankly I can't help but think a girl choosing me at 17 now... wouldn't be ALOT brighter than a girl that chose me when I was 17
In all honestly... I was scum at that age, offered nothing, had no ability to help with any problems, knew nothing of tenderness and emotion, sexually
was inferior...not in, stamina lol... but careing and attention...
I wonder sometimes... why it is like this, why at 17 I had sex every weekend often with different girls and socially that is acceptable... I was a rut
lol, a cad, a jerk, a terrible boyfriend looking for another piece 10 minutes after the first girls was gone, uncontrolable hormones, no couth,
potentially and only do to Luck was I never a disease threat... could never have afforded an abortion...
No place to have sex, but beaches under the boardwalk and parks and backs of cars... LOL if SHE had access to a car..ha!
What did a young girl have to learn from me at 17?
How to do gravity bongs?
How to have her reputation tarnished when I bragged?
How to get a broken heart?
How to be used?
I was... legitimately repulsive, a disgust a real perhaps threat to someones daughter
at any given time I wa sliable to be jumped being with her because I was always fighting with crews of local thugs, Dates were on the subway... heavy
booze and other recriational habits were abundant in my life...
And Now... I find myself single at 38 for about 18 months...
and I have been going out and... I'm a really nice guy now
Not that I did anything bad ever... I just didn't give a damn besides about myself at that age... all offered, not enticed, but... tacky, self
indulgent meaningless sex and no consideration or thought to it...
I was big into a Metal scene at the time, mostly women...looking for love the wrong way... and that being the case, I know what they found in me at
the same age was not... a step up, a boost of self esteem, a friend... they were used. Not cared for.
and Now... what would be wrong with me? I have turned down one young lady, I honestly... my heart bled for this girl, a friends sister... she wanted
me to be her first and, I had to deny it, say no to it...
It was painful for me because she was so beautiful...and despite these stories, we are talking about not every day scenerios where beautiful young
women throw themselves at me... I have to work, i don't get out that much, I have responsabilities...
For most men an offer like that is..once in a lifetime at best beyond a certain age... to be wanted like that, adored, looked up to...
and I had to say NO
and I know from her sister who is older, how she lost her virginity and what the circumstances were... how she was used, humiliated, cried...
and why would I have been a Pedo If it was me to be with a 16 year old who... had a crush to a degree that some would arguably call Love?
Dinner, a House, ... A Bed, a guy that... would adore her, thank G-d for her lol... at a time in my life when, Honestly and truely, just being thought
of as attractive by her took me miles... made me shake, brought tears to my eyes after I had to say NO, it was painful...
What she got (and I knew her a long time and am a friend of the family)... what she got was... for her first memory, was... barely a memory, drunk,
half unconcious, painful, degrading, branded a whore by his friends...
what she got was... A Scar, not a Memory
and..yes, some girls are looking for... attention, to be Loved and do it the wrong way... but it doesn't stop them for looking
and I have to wonder... Who she will become from that first experience and what would be different if it was about adoration and caring instead...
And I lied... told her, I would be ...an awful man if I said Yes, that no man my age was any good if he would agree to that and she should find a nice
guy her age...
and it was bs... i'm sorry, society made me send her to the dogs and I cared for her...
I know there are some men who would try to Prey upon girls if allowed to...
But the reality is almost ALL 16-17 year old boys are Predators...
So why shouldn't a young woman who... knows better be allowed to make her own choices? What is the alternative?
HS isn't some Sitcom, you know? These boys get them wasted, use them... talk about them, pass them around thier friends, have no money for abortions
or to support them if they kept a child, don't love them... don't even Like them... Lie, use dope, expose them to violent situations and dangerous
conditions, dope, and don't..chersih the moment... don't understand Romance or what a girl wants... almost unanimously thier sexuality is derived
from porn, they want to... humiliate them very often, feel powerful... and will do the same to another girl the same weekend given the
opportunity...
So worry about your daughters?
I'd worry far more about thier peers frankly...
don't get me wrong, there are some "Nice" guys that age...
But a girl looking for that, isn't looking for the "nice" boys she wants to feel masculinity... and it's going to be older guy... or macho punk
99% of the time..
and I'm sorry but (i'm not a teacher btw) Given a choice... if it was my daughter and she was between in her thoughts
17 year old football captain and 40 year old English Teacher in terms of looking to be with "a man"
I think I'd rather her pick a real man... the guy that might have some wisdom and experience and appreciate her gift to him... as oppossed to the
Child Boy who will build his Ego off of her and use her
It's not like a real "realtionship" will form that lasts forever from either of those experiences 99% of the time...
But if she is going to drink...let it be Wine I think from the older guy not Brass Monkey and Keg beer... if she is going to have sex, let it be in a
bed after a nice meal by a firplace in a safe home... not, in a party while a bunch of punks videotapes it from the closet and laughs, let it be a guy
who is discreet and has what to loose, not a person who will tell 30 friends in her school by the next morning
I think... let her be made love to... or at least have a chance at that, not to... not even fully remember what happened the next day...
and... everyone is an individual... Not saying that some girls won't make wrong picks and encounter... older guys who, Never grew up... Or that it
doesn't happen that a younger guy might not love her and give her somethuing GOOD to remember...
So in short... I disagree, I think it is complete natural and often very bright of a 16 or 17 or 18 or 19 year old young lady... to lift herself out
of the loop of Boys and go after a Man... and I think, men don't get asked unless, they have become something special, emotionally, intellectually,
financially... an Older guy 90% of the time is "Yuck" unless, he is a special guy to her in some way...
Ther is a difference between an immature man who is a predator and a mature man who is ASKED, that's all