Security chiefs are still baffled over the theft of The Whitehouse last night. The building disappeared leaving a large empty area that was quickly purchased by Wal-Mart.
A list of suspects has been drawn up by the CIA and FBI and arrests are expected soon.
Meanwhile Vice President Cheney has reassured the public that the theft poses no threat to their safety. "I'd like to stress," said VP Cheney, "that The Whitehouse contained nothing that could be of any use to anyone."

HA HA, oh so true, so true.

The good news is, they finally found Hoffa's body.