reply to post by they see ALL
No worries, it's an interesting thing to talk about. First, if I didn't participate in the little things, it would be because I had chosen to not
do so, and that is not really who I am....... I'd have to..... I don't know..... be angry enough about something to ignore the events as a
punishment? That's not me either.
But no, if either of us said one day, "I don't want to celebrate our anniversary any more," [for example], there would be confusion, and perhaps a
bit of fear on the other's part wondering if the one who stated it had done a complete changeabout and had serruptitiously found someone else.
That's the difficult thing for my circumstance in imagining this, because we both love these little dances, and to not want them might be a signal of
a hidden problem, which is ALSO not who we are .... heh
Let's say I forgot her birthday. Or our anniversary, or whatever..... just forgot. No, I wouldn't feel fear of reprisal. I would be
disappointed in myself for forgetting, and she, knowing her, would be coddling me and assuring me that, hey, sometimes we have brain farts, today's
another day, now go out and buy me something nice.
Actually, very rarely do the celebrations involve expense. We just celebrated our 20th
anniversary a few days ago. We'd intended to take a few days off, work on the garden, play in the sea. As it turned out, I had to do some
emergency repairs that were caused by Gustav, and so the anticipated time off was toasted. It worked just as well four days later.
Hey, we didn't get this way overnight
I think fear is a useful sensation...... it alerts a person to danger...... sometimes to dangers you
aren't consciously aware of, and it has it's place and has saved my butt a few times. It's a tool, and can be directed into a powerful reaction.
Combined with it's twisted sister guilt, it is utterly worthless, unproductive, destructive even. Fear can also have an attractive side..... I
remember that from freefalling and mountain climbing. It a sharp edge, and there have been times when I've felt SO incredibly aware of every
tactile sensation, every sensory input, magnified, energized, and fear was the medium.
Good thread. Sorry for the novella, but after all it's half your fault for asking the question.