reply to post by peacejet
i ran into this topic , and found it interesting. I had this blog last year no one cared about, where i ranted on everything, it was kind of a
therapy. The title was :
I'D RATHER BE HUNG RATHER THAN BEING A BUS DRIVER.
written out of sympathy for all the poor guys who endure that #ty job.
Here it goes
Yeah, yeah, i'd do that.
Why? Ha, you got it. Let me tell you a few things to try when you drive a bus.
_There is this half-drunk guy counting his 5 and 10-cent coins he needs to buy a 1.20€ ticket. Of course, it's 30 Celsius outside, in the middle of
rush hour, and the bus is PACKED. Try this.
(my opinion : I hold my breath till my cheeks turn blue and get him a ticket when i see white dots everywhere)
_There is this smelly guy, who manages to sit right behind the driver seat, so when the air circulate in the bus, you're sure to get this smell as a
_There is this helpless mother with a baby. The baby, never happy and willing to let you know, turns into a red-colored piece of meat and shouts all
the way. Of course, it's rush hour and the "baby vehicle" prevents people from moving in the bus. Keep cool, man.
_There is this stupid biatch talking on the phone as loud as she can, in order to make sure everyone knows about how difficult it is to choose between
Joe and Jim, because Joe has such a big dick but what a shame when he takes you to high school with his old car...
_Of course, you have the archetype, the one you fear, "The One With His Mp3 Player Louder Than Hell" .The one who sits at the end of the bus, takes
this Mob boss sitting position and just chews his bubblegum listening to crappy R'N'B music. Man, I swear I wanted to buy a car a few times after 15
minutes like this. You know, just the noise of the bus engine, and this guy pissing everyone with his crappy sound. Die, man, you and R'n'B music. I
wish you have an accident someday, and that you die painfully with your Beyoncé music on your ears.I WISH this is gonna be the last thing you
_Most of bus drivers drive like stuntmen sometimes. In my city there is a long avenue stretching north to south, and once you crossed the river, the
road goes up and up and up. Picture the guy at the end of his evening shift, alone in the night with a couple passengers. You see this long avenue,
deserted, no cops no cars, you just push on the throttle. I saw a driver one day who drove so fast the kids in the bus began to be afraid. We almost
reached 100km/h down the avenue before the bridge. I thank god the lights were green.
_There is the young guy who is going to an interview for a job, and comes to you asking "can you tell me where do i have to get off the bus to go to
"X" Company ? According to the "X", you are more or less pissed off because you can't look the guy in the eye (watch the road, boy) and tell him
he should have taken line number 14 going the OPPOSITE way. The guy is pale, goes back to his seat and gets off as soon as you stop. The rest of the
day you can't help betting with yourself if the guy managed to reach his destination.
_And, of course, you have the Supreme Asshole, the one who creates drama and action in the bus, when he's drunk or on drugs or if he has been dumped
by his girlfriend. The "What'ya lookin'at?' boy inevitably ends up brawling with a couple of teenagers in the bus and you have to call the cops
and SIT THERE. cause a bus driver can't do #. Sleep with it.
_Aaaah, the finishing guy. You had a good day, no traffic delays, quiet passengers -or nice ones, it can happen too- and all of a sudden ,the last guy
of the last bus stop has decided to kill your evening. He walks around in the bus, talking to everyone, women, children, grannies, with a good'old
language and insults coming back from the bottom of his unconscious. Then you want to grab him and throw him out. Wroooong decision, refer to the
above BIG letters so you remember you have to SIT THERE. Just be patient, pray for the guy not to be aggressive, in this case you call the cops again,
stop at the next bus stop and SIT THERE. In the evening, you have an argument with your girlfriend, you smash some furniture and glasses, yell at
her...you make others pay for what you've endured..That's life.
_Oh by the way, I tried to give them tips one day. The driver said " I can't accept that, it'll ruin my cash register paperwork" . Like in
supermarkets, but handcashiers remember they have separate pockets.