posted on Sep, 23 2008 @ 03:22 PM
reply to post by CA_Orot
Thanks to the good people of this message board who have joined our coalition, we now have Danny Devito in custody. Our interrogations have led us to
discover an unholy alliance between the NPO, of which Mr. Devito is a devoted member, and one Dr. Henry
. It seems he wanted to assure that his legacy as a useful member of the medical community and so he began the push to demonize
the act of choking, back in the 1970s.
He also advocated therapies to combat lead poisoning during an era of scares about the dangers of lead paint. I believe this is notable because I
personally eat lead paint chips as sprinkles on my ice cream and I have yet to show any signs of the brain damage from my repeated ingestion of this
much maligned substance. I believe we can safely assume that this wide-ranging conspiracy is part of the greater agenda to scare the public into
believing these things are hazardous when clearly, we can show that choking and lead paint are not harmful in the slightest way that can be measured.
It is interesting to note that Dr. Heimlich (if indeed that is his real name) and his maneuver have been downgraded in recent years by the American
Red Cross, and so it can be safely assumed that they have been fighting the battle against this injustice against choking since the Spring of 2006. As
always, I can only recommend to all our friends here that you stay safe and prepare the requisite tin foil accoutrements to prevent their brainwashing
from taking hold over you. We shall set up a series of safe houses across the globe to take any of you into protective custody who feel you are
endangered by your knowledge of this vast conspiracy on the part of Heimlich, the NPO, Her Majesty's Fictional Secret Service, and various members of
the World of Warcraft online community.
Relating to the arrest of Verne Troyer and his admission of being a Mage
, we have since began an
investigation an investigation into other members of the online communuty. We chose to concentrate our efforts on Mr. T after his
claims of being a hacker
and though he put up quite a struggle against our agents, he is now in
custody. Mr. T is rumored to be behind the repeated issues facing the ATS chat as well, in direct contradiction to the idea that CERN was somehow
involved. It is my belief that one or the other may be part of a misinformation campaign and as such we shall simply have to persecute, I mean
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.