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Corner Gas(The Canadian Dream)

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posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:28 PM
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Below is a spec script for the Canadian television program Corner Gas, as with most artistic endeavors I participate in it is socially commentative and many esoteric overtones abound. Unfortunately the margins do not allow the correct formatting to be displayed.

The Canadian Dream



EXT. CORNER GAS STATION- DAY

BRENT stands behind the counter reading a comic book when
OSCAR enters seething.

OSCAR
What the hell is that guy doing
loitering around out there, I think
he's a drifter!(pointing back at
the door)

a man in his early to mid twenties stands outside the door,
he has a scruffy beard and clothes to match holding out a
hat.

BRENT
Oh, he's Carl, from
Newfoundland...he's on a quest for
the Canadian dream.

OSCAR
The Canadian dr...what the hell are
you talking about? Kids these days
don't know how to do an honest days
work, the Canadian dream isn't
going to buy itself you know.

BRENT
Well that depends on your
definition of the Canadian dream.

WANDA joins Brent behind the counter.

WANDA
Would the Canadian dream be the
dream of an individual Canadian or
the collective dream sewn through
generations of citizenry compiling
the mass experience of the nation?

BRENT
There is also the question as to
whether it would include Canadian
dreams on foreign soil.

Brent and Wanda look forward in deep thought. Oscar looks at
them grumpily with the least bit interest in such nonsense,
he swats his arm.

OSCAR
I've got better things to do.

Oscar treads towards the exit.

CUT TO:



THEME SONG

CUT TO:



EXT. THE RUBY- LATER

CARL now stands outside the door to the Ruby with hat in
hand, a police car drives up and parks.



INT. POLICE CAR- CONTINUOUS

DAVIS sits behind the wheel, KAREN is in the passenger seat.

DAVIS
That must be him, he fits the
description.

KAREN
Oscar told us he was 7 feet tall
and wearing a Hell's Angel jacket.

DAVIS
You can never be too careful.

KAREN
Do we have to do this?

DAVIS
Karen, we both took an oath to
protect the citizenry, from threats
big and small.

Davis and Karen exit the vehicle, Davis moves towards Carl
quickly, Karen walks behind reluctant.

Carl steps in front of Davis with hat out and a big grin,
Davis is taken aback but gains his air of faux authority.




posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:30 PM
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DAVIS (cont'd)
We've had reports of panhandling,
we cannot tolerate such outlaws.

Davis puffs out his chest, standing proudly, Carl takes a
couple steps back and looks to the ground passively.

DAVIS (cont'd)
Good, let this be a warning to you.

Davis looks to The Ruby sign and then to Karen.

DAVIS (cont'd)
Karen, do you have some change?

She gives him a dirty look.

DAVIS (cont'd)
For a muffin!(with a big smile)

Karen reaches into her pocket and digs around, her visage
becomes perturbed.

KAREN
I could have sworn I brought some
change with me.

Davis pouts, he is tapped on the shoulder by Carl who reaches
some coins out to him.

Davis furrows his brow and hesitates but puts his hand out
and accepts the offer, they share a look of silent accord.

Oscar hides around the corner watching the interaction.

OSCAR
Holy hell.



INT. BRENT'S HOUSE- AFTERNOON

Brent is in the midst of an afternoon nap on the couch, a
crumpled chip bag lays on his chest and crumbs are strewn
about his stained shirt.

CUT TO:



INT. HOCKEY RINK- TIME UNKNOWN

Brent stands alone on the ice in a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey
uniform and takes position for a shot.

NARRATOR (O.S.)
One more goal and Brent Leroy will
single-handedly win the Stanley
cup.

He positions for the shot, in place of a puck is a powdered
donut.

On the receiving end in the goalie post is another Brent who
dons a Montreal Canadians uniform, he guards the net and
opens his mouth widely.

The donut is shot and goalie Brent catches it in his mouth.

CUT TO:



INT. BRENT'S BEDROOM- EVENING

Brent abruptly awakens from his slumber, he reaches a finger
towards the side of his lip where a red jelly resides...he
looks at it and tastes it forebodingly.

BRENT
Raspberry filling.(under his
breath)



INT. THE RUBY- DAY

Brent sits at the counter, LACEY holds a pot of coffee and
has an air of skepticism.

BRENT
I swear, there wasn't a raspberry
donut in the entire house.

LACEY
This is too much for even
you...bringing jelly from a
dream...you're beginning to sound
like Oscar.

BRENT
Now you're scaring me.

HANK enters the Ruby with a dim witted smirk.

HANK
Did you get a load of that hobo,
he's really something.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:31 PM
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LACEY
You mean Carl? He's from
Newfoundland and on a search for
the Canadian dream, I don't think
he'd appreciate being called a
"hobo".

Everyone is surprised when Wanda begins to speak, seemingly
appearing out of nowhere sitting at the end of the counter.

WANDA
Actually the word hobo is hardly
derogatory, the etymology is
unknown, theories range from the
city Hoboken as the origin, to the
migrant farm hands and former
nobleman called hobereaux.

BRENT
Aren't you supposed to be working?

WANDA
I have a system.

CUT TO:



EXT. CORNER GAS STATION- DAY

A closed sign adorns the gas station door.

CUT TO:



INT. THE RUBY- DAY

Brent holds a coffee cup near his mouth.

BRENT
Very well then.

He sips.



INT. POLICE STATION- AFTERNOON

Karen and Davis are dozed off in the police station office,
each in a chair on the opposite side of a desk scattered with
paperwork and miscellanea.

A phone RINGS and Davis wakes up, there is a phone on the
table but it is off the hook.

DAVIS
Karen, wake up.

Karen's eyes open and she sees the phone off the hook.

KAREN
Davis!

DAVIS
I couldn't sleep with that thing
ringing.

KAREN
I don't mean that, I was having a
really good dream.

The ring happens again.

KAREN (cont'd)
Where is that ring coming from
then?

The office is a cluttered mess, Karen looks under and around
items on the desk, Davis stands up and searches around the
office for the source of the interminable ringing.

The ringing stops just as Davis picks up a box, under which
is a fax machine that begins to print...Karen and Davis both
watch in anticipation as the page emerges from the device.

Once it completes they both reach for the paper but Davis
grabs it first.

KAREN (cont'd)
Hey!

Karen grimaces as Davis holds the memo.

DAVIS
"We would like to inform the
D.R.P.D."

(beat)
Who's The DRPD?

KAREN
The Dog River Police Department.

DAVIS
Hey, that's us!

KAREN
Give me that.

She grabs the paper from Davis.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:32 PM
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KAREN (cont'd)
"We would like to inform the
D.R.P.D That Stephen Harper will be
passing through your township as he
conducts a speaking tour of western
Canada. We bring this to your
attention strictly on a cautionary
basis and urge you to conduct
policing duties as normal unless
informed otherwise."

DAVIS
Wow...

KAREN
It's not a big deal..."conduct
policing duties as normal"...see?

She points to the relevant portion of text for Davis.



INT. TOWN HALL- DAY

People file into the hall and fill seats, CHATTERING amongst
themselves.

Mayor FITZY stands at the podium, Karen and Davis stand
beside him, Davis stands dignified, Karen does not look
impressed.

FITZY
Alright everyone, the meeting is in
session.

The chattering disperses and the hall became quiet.

FITZY (cont'd)
Citizens of Dog River, I am proud
to announce that the Prime Minister
will be visiting our fair town.
The visit is expected this Friday
so prepare to be on your best
behavior. We have to prove to
Ottawa we aren't just some hicks
like those rubes in Woolerton.

The spectators all SPIT to the floor.

Mayor Fitzy, Karen, and Davis all raise their heads, wiping
their mouths.

FITZY (cont'd)
With that in mind, the police force
will have an increased presence
until his arrival.

KAREN
Aw, nuts.(under her breath)

FITZY
We hope that it will be with the
least inconvenience.



EXT. THE RUBY- NIGHT

Carl sits outside the Ruby beside his backpack leaning
against the building, Lacey comes out with a garbage bag and
looks over surprised to see him.

LACEY
Carl, you're still out here.

He nods.

LACEY (cont'd)
Are you hungry?



INT. THE RUBY- NIGHT

Carl sits at the counter eating from a plate of food
hungrily, Lacey on the serving end of the counter brings him
a soda.

LACEY
You know it's been really good
having you in town, some people
have even gotten the idea that your
presence has some sort of an effect
on their dreams.

Carl continues to eat.

LACEY (cont'd)
I know it sounds crazy but I try to
be a spiritual person and nothing
like that has happened to me, it's
just so frustra...

CARL
Shhhh!

Carl grabs Lacey's wrist and places a small piece of folded
paper in her hand, she looks down at it, unfolds the page, it
is blank.

Lacey looks back up and Carl is gone.



INT. LACEY'S ROOM- NIGHT

Lacey lays in bed tossing and turning whilst asleep, she
suddenly wakes.

LACEY
Whoa!



EXT. CORNER GAS STATION- DAY

Davis and Karen have a check stop set up on the road outside
the gas station.

KAREN
Is this really necessary? We know
everyone around here...well, except
the guy over there helping that old
lady.

A young man and an old lady play tug of war over the woman's
purse.

DAVIS
Karen, we have a responsibility to
the community and to our elected
officials.

KAREN
Whatever you say Gestapo.

DAVIS
Don't call me Gestapo!

KAREN
You know the community you were
talking about? They're really
starting to hate us.

The line of cars consists of familiar faces, yelling, honking
and shaking their fists out the window.

KAREN (cont'd)
Besides, all this hoopla only means
more work for us.

WES sits in his car detained as Karen and Davis conduct their
conversation, he waits to pass through this check stop.

WES
Excuse me, can I go now?

KAREN
Yeah, whatever.

She gives back his wallet and he drives off. Davis waves
Hank forward who is next in line in his truck.

HANK
Hey Davis.

DAVIS
License and registration please.

HANK
I don't have any of that.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:34 PM
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DAVIS
Sir, you are required to carry a
license and registration at all
times while operating a motor
vehicle.

HANK
Well my license is revoked and this
vehicle isn't registered so I can't
very well show you that now can I?

Hank rolls his eyes.

DAVIS
Can you open up the trunk please,
sir?

Hank looks back to the open cab of his truck.

HANK
But...

Davis interrupts him.

DAVIS
Are you going to argue with an
officer?

Hank gets out of the truck and opens the back latch. Davis
climbs in and starts to snoop around, Hank becomes impatient
and looks to Karen who stands by uninterested.

HANK
Is this going to be long.

He doesn't get an answer from Karen or Davis.

HANK (cont'd)
I'll be at the Ruby.

Hank leaves the truck where it is and walks towards The Ruby,
the residents in queue continue their vitriol.



INT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Wanda and Brent sit at the counter drinking coffee, Hank
joins them and Lacey walks out of the kitchen proudly.

LACEY
I just want to announce to
everyone, I've had my first
Canadian dream.

BRENT
Hey everybody, Lacey had her first
Canadian dream!

The patrons CHATTER and CLAP in congratulation.

BRENT (cont'd)
So, what was it about?

HANK
Sword fighting lizards? Fire
breathing ninjas?

BRENT
No you helium head, she's talking
about her first "Canadian" dream.

HANK
Fire breathing beavers?

LACEY
What the dream was is none of your
business, but Carl is really
helping me get in touch with my
inner Canadian.

BRENT
He's a man of few words and wise
beyond his years.

WANDA
I had another one, Don Cherry was
their...his technicolor dream coat
was dazzling.

BRENT
What about you Hank?

Hank sat at the counter with a blank look on his face.

BRENT (cont'd)
Hank?

Hank begins to drool, he snaps out of his trance.

HANK
Huh, wha?

BRENT
And this specimen can't stop
dreaming, day dreaming, night
dreaming, I've even seen him drunk
dreaming.



INT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S HOUSE- DAY

Oscar fleet-foots in the front door, EMMA sits in front of
the TV knitting.

Oscar barely opens his mouth.

EMMA
What is it now Oscar?

OSCAR
You should see it out there, things
are changing, it's hardly safe to
walk the streets anymore, all these
hoodlums and drifters, drifting
about town.

EMMA
You're not talking about Carl are
you?

OSCAR
Whatever his name is he is not
welcome.

EMMA
He's a little bit out there but
he's harmless...he's from
Newfoundland, on the search for the
Canadian something or other.

OSCAR
He's looking for trouble, that's
what he's looking for, the cops
just give him a pass, even taking
bribes.

EMMA
The man is hardly in a position to
bribe the police.

OSCAR
I've gotta dig up some more dirt on
this troublemaker...

Oscar stands at the entrance.

EMMA
Well?

OSCAR
...after I take a nap.



EXT. CORNER GAS STATION- LATER

Oscar walks up to the gas station from outside, he see's a
crumpled paper bag on the ground and Carl standing beside the
door, Oscar gives him a disgruntled look.

OSCAR
I'm onto you!

He picks up the bag and steps through the gas station door.



INT. CORNER GAS STATION- CONTINUOUS

He walks into the store with the crumpled bag in hand, he
approaches the counter in an outrage.

OSCAR
What is this?

BRENT
It's a bag...are you going to buy
something

[edit on 12-9-2008 by jenkwater]



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:35 PM
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OSCAR
I know it's a bag jack ass, I meant
what was is it doing on the ground.

Wanda stocks the shelves nearby.

WANDA
It was surely mocking you.

OSCAR
Well I'm going to see what the
health inspector has to say about
this.

WANDA
You mean George...the garbage man?

OSCAR
Yah, George...have you seen him?

WANDA
I did, far away from here
though...next town over, maybe.

Wanda's deception is transparent, Oscar walks past the
counter towards the interior Ruby entrance.

WANDA (cont'd)
I think my brain just got lighter.

BRENT
One minute with him is like half a
lobotomy.



INT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Lacey pours coffee into a customer's cup with her trademark
smile. Oscar approaches the counter and leans forward
covertly, Lacey approaches.

LACEY
What is it Oscar?

OSCAR
Where's George, I know he's in
here.

LACEY
You mean the health inspector.

OSCAR
No no, George...the garbage man.

LACEY
I haven't seen him.

OSCAR
That damned hobo is really making a
mess of things.

LACEY
Don't you think you're being a
little bit closed minded? You
should really give Carl a chance.

OSCAR
Bah!

LACEY
I think you're over reacting.

OSCAR
I don't over react.

LACEY
What about when your editorial made
the front page of The Howler

CUT TO:

A newspaper rotates from far to close.



HOWLER HEADLINE:

"Gravity: Devil Science?"

CUT TO:



INT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Oscar and Lacey remain in the same spot.

OSCAR
I can't see how you can stand on
your own two feet and not wonder.

Lacey looks past Oscar feigning to see something outside.

LACEY
Is that George out there?

Oscar gets up from his seat and hurries out the door.

OSCAR
I pay your salary!



EXT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Oscar shakes his fist and turns around startled to see Carl
inches from his face.

OSCAR
Ah!

Oscar runs away flailing his arms like a mad man.



INT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S HOUSE- MOMENTS LATER

Oscar runs inside the house panting, he slams the door, Emma
comes out of the kitchen.

OSCAR
He's after me...to the attic!

EMMA
Shhh...

OSCAR
No, don't worry, I took a couple
wrong turns to misdirect him.

EMMA
Keep your voice down, we have a
guest.

OSCAR
Who?

EMMA
Carl, he just got here to drop his
stuff off, I offered him Brent's
old room for his last night in
town...I must have forgot to tell
you.

OSCAR
I'm the man of this house!...I make
these decisions!

Emma laughs condescendingly.

EMMA
We're going to go to The Ruby for
dinner, Lacey is keeping the place
open later to celebrate Carl's
visit.

OSCAR
I'm not going to be seen in public
with him.

EMMA
Oh, grow up Oscar.

OSCAR
I'll be in my room.

Oscar storms up the stairs and down the hall, a door SLAMS
shut.

Carl comes out from the same hallway and stands at the top of
the steps.

EMMA
It's nothing, Oscar just sent
himself to his room again.



EXT. THE RUBY- DAY

The parking lot is packed with many vehicles including the
police car, Wes gets out of his automobile and steps through
the door way into The Ruby.



INT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Davis obstructs Wes just as he steps inside.

DAVIS
Stop right there pilgrim, I'm going
to have to pat you down.

Wes looks confused.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:35 PM
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DAVIS (cont'd)
It's a precaution, for your safety
and that of our leader.

WES
The Queen is here?

DAVIS
No, I was referring to Stephen
Harper.

WES
Stephen Harper's here?

DAVIS
Well no, not yet...he will be,
tomorrow.

Davis proceeds to pat him down.

DAVIS (cont'd)
Do you have any explosives on you
today?

WES
No!

DAVIS
Any fruits or vegetables on your
person?

Wes gives Davis a weird look.

Karen sits at the counter eating a piece of cake, Wes's pat
down completes.

DAVIS (cont'd)
Karen, you should be doing this
stuff too you know.

Karen replies with a mouthful of cake.

KAREN
I'm uh, testing the food for
poison, you know, like they used to
do for the king.

DAVIS
Ah, good thinking...you better try
those danishes too, and don't
forget the eclairs...from what I've
heard Stephen Harper is no stranger
to a flaky pastry.

Emma and Carl walk in, Davis steps in front of them.

DAVIS (cont'd)
Ah, ah, ah...I'm going to have to
search you ma'am.

Emma raises a fist.

EMMA
If you put one hand on me I'll give
a whole new meaning to the term
"police brutality".

Davis steps back allowing Carl and herself through, Carl is
guided to a booth occupied by Brent and others.

BRENT
Carl, buddy!, You made it.

CROSS DISSOLVE:

A crowd is formed around the booth Carl sits at, food and
beverages abounds.

Karen looks ill as she lays her head on the counter
surrounded by many plates of half eaten pastries, Lacey
shakes her head and looks to Davis.

LACEY
This is almost as bad as the time
you got your hat stolen by
"bandits".

CUT TO:



EXT. STREET- DAY

Davis and Karen stand outside the police station.

A hawk swoops and SCREECHES as it picks Davis's hat off and
flies away.

CUT TO:



INT. THE RUBY- CONTINUOUS

Davis appears culpable.

DAVIS
yaaahhhh, bandits...Karen, how are
you doing with those pastries.

Karen groans, the people in and around the booths raise their
glasses.

BRENT
To Carl!

THE CROWD
To Carl!

They CLINK their glasses.



INT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S HOUSE- NIGHT

Emma lays in a chair in the living room covered in a blanket
sleeping, Oscar appears at the top of the steps, descends
them and puts his shoes on, Emma wakes up.

EMMA
Carl isn't back yet?

OSCAR
I don't think so.

Emma looks worried, Oscar sighs defeated.

OSCAR (cont'd)
I'm going to grab a beer or
something, I'll let you know if I
see him.



INT. DOG RIVER HOTEL- NIGHT

Oscar steps inside the tavern to see Carl at the far end of
the bar, Oscar walks up to the counter pretending not to
notice Carl who notices him.

PHIL is behind the bar and approaches Oscar with a beer.

OSCAR
I didn't order this.

PHIL
I know, he did...

The bartender points to Carl.

PHIL (cont'd)
Two minutes before you walked in.

Oscar looks over at Carl and can't help but let his
repugnance subside, Carl signals him over.

Oscar looks around the room to make sure he isn't being
watched and sits by Carl.

OSCAR
Emma is worried about you.

Carl's hat is upside down on the counter filled with change,
he slides it into view to Oscar.

OSCAR (cont'd)
It looks like you're doing alright.

PHIL
Bounty procures reveries...right
Carl?



INT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S BEDROOM- NIGHT

Oscar and Emma lay in bed.

CUT TO:



EXT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S HOUSE- DAY

Oscar is many stories tall standing outside his home in
lumberjack garb, he reaches down and tears the roof off of
the house.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:36 PM
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Emma is inside and looks up screaming at the Goliath Oscar in
the sky as he reaches down and picks her up by the cloth on
the back of her shirt.

OSCAR
I'm the man of this house...ha! ha!
ha! ha!(deep voiced)

CUT TO:



INT. OSCAR AND EMMA'S BEDROOM- CONTINUOUS

Oscar lies in bed with his eyes closed, chuckling.



INT. BRENT'S OLD ROOM- CONTINUOUS

Carl lays in bed with his day clothes on, he lays on his back
with his arms behind his head, eyes open.

The room is dark except for the moon light shining in from
the window, he smiles.

CUT TO:



EXT. FIELD- DAY

Brent manifests in a vast empty field, it is perfectly still
aside from a light breeze bristling the foliage.

He wears boxers shorts and a t-shirt, his feet don bunny
rabbit slippers.

He takes a few steps.

WANDA (O.S.)
Hey!

Brent turns around to see Wanda standing in the field wearing
pajamas as well, she steps over the ground barefoot.

WANDA (cont'd)
Eee..ah...

BRENT
What are you doing here? What am I
doing here?

WANDA
I don't know.

She lifts her hand up and watches as her fingers wiggle.

WANDA (cont'd)
Wait a minute, I've heard of
this...I think we're lucid
dreaming.

BRENT
What's that?

WANDA
It's when one becomes self aware of
their own dream, allowing the
dreamer to become an active
participant in the environment as
if it was the real world, absent
the limitations.

She leans down and picks up a stone from the ground, she
holds it in her fingers for Brent to see.

WANDA (cont'd)
See.

She throws it up in the air and it succumbs to some invisible
magnet in the sky.

LACEY
Hey guys!

Brent and Wanda both turn to see Lacey in purple slippers and
a matching night gown.

LACEY (cont'd)
What are you guys doing out here?

BRENT
It seems as if we're lucid
dreaming.

LACEY
Carl was telling me about this.

Hank appears amongst them dressed in gray suit, thick
glasses, shiny shoes, perfectly combed hair holding a
calculator in one hand and a pencil in the other.

BRENT
Hank, it's a whole new you.

HANK
Sometimes I like to be an
accountant in my dreams.

WANDA
You look duller than church.

Hank takes the glasses off and places that, the calculator
and pencil into his pockets and ruffles his hair.

HANK
I've never been good with numbers
in real life, but in my dreams I'm
a regular Einsteick...I was just
working on Conrad Black's tax
return, what a mess, he really
should keep better track of his
books.

(beat)
What are you guys doing in my dream
anyways?

WANDA
Youre dream?

BRENT
Just standing around so far.

HANK
I think I've been here before.

LACEY
This could be anywhere in
Saskatchewan.

HANK
No...

Hank walks away from the group as something attracts his
attention on the ground, he leans down and picks up a shoe.

HANK (cont'd)
I've been looking for this.

BRENT
In real life?

HANK
No, in my dreams.

A BEEPING is heard, no one seems to notice but Brent.

BRENT
Do you hear that?

Everyone replies to the contrary.

BRENT (cont'd)
Must be me.

Brent shrugs and POP, he disappears from the field leaving
Hank, Wanda, and Lacey behind.

Things get wavy until the dream world becomes completely
distorted.

CUT TO:



EXT. GRAVEL ROAD- DAY

Davis and Karen stand on the side of the gravel road that
travels past the town, Davis stands patriotically with his
hat over his chest, Karen looks apathetic to the whole
affair.



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:37 PM
link   
KAREN
I really wanted to say bye to Carl,
he was great.

DAVIS
This is our civic duty Karen, we
must be here to greet our Prime
Minister.

KAREN
He's only a minority leader.

DAVIS
We must respect him as if he was a
majority one.

A black spec and wisp of dust is in the distance, as it gets
closer it is clearly a vehicle, Karen quickly puts her hat to
her chest, Davis looks to her knowingly.

The vehicle gets closer incrementally through the watchful
eyes of the diligent officers, it is a black SUV with small
Canadian flags outside the windows above the roof on both
sides of the vehicle.

The vehicle draws near, the officers anticipation peaks, the
vehicle speeds past engulfing Karen and Davis in a billowing
dust cloud, it dissipates leaving them covered in dirt, they
both COUGH and dust themselves off.

The license plate on the vehicle displays: Canada1, it
barrels away into the distance.

Davis and Karen remain on the road, alone, Davis is
dumbstruck as he watches the vehicle retreat.

KAREN
I'm going to see Carl.



EXT. FIELD- DAY

All the regular Dog River citizens gather around Carl in a
field, Karen and Davis approach the group.

Hank presents a long stick with a bandana attached to the end
of it to Carl as if it was the sword Excalibur.

HANK
On behalf of the citizens of Dog
River I would like to present to
you this brand new hobo stick.

Hank transfers it to Carl with much pomp and circumstance,
Carl bows his head and accepts it.

Oscar steps forward and shakes Carl's hand enthusiastically.

OSCAR
I was wrong about you, you're tops.

The residents share their farewells with the visitor, a train
WHISTLE is heard.

WANDA
That must be your train.

Carl turns from the group and walks towards the train tracks
a few yard away.

PHIL
Wait a minute, those tracks haven't
been used in over 50 years.

Brent turns towards Lacey.

BRENT
You still won't tell me your first
Canadian dream?

LACEY
Well I guess I could, it's hard to
explain though.

(beat)
I dreamt Carl was a thought, not a
person.

BRENT
Hmm.

Carl turns around near the tracks just as the train
approaches.

CARL
Mai vos vies soient puits et vos rêves
soient glorieux!(In an extravagant
gracious manner)

The crowd goes silent, Carl hops onto the train, both him and
the train fade into invisibility leaving the crowd
speechless.

BRENT
I still say that's the damndest
Newfie accent I've ever heard.




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