Court says police illegally taped nursing home sex

reply to post by riley

...by your "no injury" reasoning drink spiking is harmless...

No, actually "drink spiking" is the same thing as poisoning someone. If he had poisoned this woman and then had sex with her, it wouold be a totally different story.

...and having sex with dead people.

If it was his wife, I say no harm no foul. (You'd be surprised how many of our loved ones get the once-over by the coroners and funeral parlor workers, and that is wrong if you ask me .)


[edit on 9/12/0808 by jackinthebox]

[edit on 12-9-2008 by LoneGunMan]

Originally posted by jackinthebox
reply to post by Scurvy

 

And there may not have been physical injury done but they did not know that and so they investigated.

They had no grounds to investigate without signs of physical injury.

The point of investigating is to discover if there is injury taking place. If a child was being molested and the cops were given a tip off then they would have to investigate the situation correct? This is no differect. They received a complaint which launched the investigation, they didn't take the appropriate steps however, which is why the tape is illegal. This is what I was trying to explain.

reply to post by Scurvy

Actually, they did take the "appropriate" steps it seems. After reviewing the article I see that they did in fact have a warrant. So this means that the reviewing court found that there was insufficient grounds for the warrant to have been issued in the first place. In essence saying that it was none of their business.

The point of investigating is to discover if there is injury taking place.

And where do you draw the line? The whole point of weenie-cams is to discover if crimes or "deviant" activity are taking place.

If a child was being molested and the cops were given a tip off then they would have to investigate the situation correct?

That would depend on what sort of evidence was provided in the tip, and what sort of investigative techniques were applied. Just getting a call from some busy body claiming that their neighbor is a child molester does not warrant the installation of hidden cameras in someone's private residence.

reply to post by LoneGunMan


Star for you. Everyone is sitting here being so judgemental, but they have no idea what this man was going through, or his wife for that matter. And it's NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS!

It's really heart-wrenching when you stop to put yourself in this man's shoes. Trying to be as close to his wife as he can. It's obvious that he loved her very much. But we shouldn't even have to be explaining this to anyone, any more than we should be taking a poll on how many people beat off in the shower in the morning.

There is no privacy anymore. Everything you do is subject to some goddamn effing judicial review.

it was his wife, give it a break...nobody elses business but his and his wive's.

[edit on 12-9-2008 by LoneGunMan]

reply to post by jackinthebox


I would hope that if I gave a tip to the cops that someone was being harmed they would follow through with it. That's what I'm paying them to do.

It's not that I'm not empathetic, I can understand the man was stressed and wanted to be with his wife. I can't understand the logic behind that action myself but I understand people function differently.

I'm trying to say that he could have done it in a less suspicious manner in order to avoid suspicion. It's as Rockpuck put it, it's the home's property. This man could have explained his situation to the care home manager privately and worked something out. If he was told no then he should respect that as these people are taking care of his wife while she is comatose. If this was in the privacy of his own home then I would agree it's no one's business but in this situation it IS the home's business. In the end the police over-reacted as usual and this man was embarassed, which IMO he could have avoided by not being sneaky about it.

[edit on 12-9-2008 by LoneGunMan]

reply to post by Scurvy

I would hope that if I gave a tip to the cops that someone was being harmed they would follow through with it. That's what I'm paying them to do.

If you think the police are there to protect anyone then you are sorely mistaken about what is is that they do. They can not, will not, and do not protect you. It is not their job. They are there to pick up the pieces after it is all over.

If I called the police right now and told them that there was a girl that looked underage going into a room with an older man they would do precisely diddly-poo about it. And with good reason, there is no probable-cause or evidence of a crime.

I'm trying to say that he could have done it in a less suspicious manner in order to avoid suspicion.

He closed the door to be alone with his wife. Is is "suspicious" to close the door on a public crapper when you drop a deuce?

It's as Rockpuck put it, it's the home's property.

And no one who rents a room or an apartment owns the property.

This man could have explained his situation to the care home manager privately and worked something out.

Are you kidding me?! Are you honestly trying to argue that this man needed to ask permission from the manager?!

[edit on 12/9/2008 by Scurvy]

She was asking for it!

reply to post by jackinthebox

This is exactly what I wrote in my post early in the thread. It is obvious that most of the people posting on this thread have not entire article. It is obvious (at least to me) that this man was expressing his love for his wife.

Ultimately, having sex with a sick person, a patient, one who is in a coma is just wrong. Whether they are married or not. The excuses are laughable. It's better than cheating, he just needed to get his rocks off, whatever. If you love and respect someone you do not violate their personal space without their permission or when they are unaware of you doing so. That's my personal opinion at least.

[edit on 12/9/08 by Yossarian]

This is soo wrong. If he didn't use protection, do you know who would get to clean up the mess? The certified nurse assistant. There job already sucks and I can't imagine having to clean up a situation like this. A person in a coma should not be having sex, ewwww, what a sick guy.

The nursing home could probably easily be sued by the wife when she woke up, heck, the family could probably sue while she was still in a come. "Your facility allowed this women to get raped and you didn't stop it", yeah it wouldn't be pretty in court.

[edit on 12-9-2008 by ghaleon12]

Originally posted by Yossarian
Ultimately, having sex with a sick person, a patient, one who is in a coma is just wrong. Whether they are married or not. The excuses are laughable. It's better than cheating, he just needed to get his rocks off, whatever. If you love and respect someone you do not violate their personal space without their permission or when they are unaware of you doing so. That's my personal opinion at least.

[edit on 12/9/08 by Yossarian]

How old are you? How much life experience do you have? I have worked in nursing homes, as has my wife. We have had rooms with husband and wife combo's. And when the door is closed, you don't go in the room. you don't even knock.

We have had Alzheimers patients leave with their spouse for an afternoon of "hanky panky". The Alzheimers patients have been very sick, as well (dementia). The only way we know is because they had enough wherewithall to be excited over the prospect of having a day pass off the unit.

I am now a business manager, and recently had a 31 year old lady who worked for me that was diagnosed with breast cancer. her husband and her were both active sexually. Often, doctors will recommend such activity if you "feel up to it", as it is good for the body and mind.

The people here who gross out, you need to lighten up. No, it may not be something you approve of, but you don't know enough to condemn, either.

Am i defending this man? Well...i don't know much about the case (other than what this thread states). But I DO defend his right to privacy.

Originally posted by whitewave
As a healthcare worker, I can assure you that preventing sexual assault in a nursing home (or any healthcare environment) is a BIG deal.

Was it sexual assault? Married or not, the woman was not able to give consent and that alone makes it sexual assault.

The "gentleman rapist" of notariety several years ago was very "polite" and "tender" with his victims but they were still non-consenting to the act of penetration (legal definition of rape).

This man may have had the best of intentions but we all know what the road to hell is paved with. Very poor judgment on his part and technically and legally=rape.

Technically she gave her consent for sexual encounters with him when she married him. It doesn't matter whether or not she is in a coma, she is still his wife, and he her husband. That is one of the ways he is still saying I love you to his wife. If I was in a coma, I rather have my husband have sex with me than with someone swear, swear, swear, swear, b***h who is trying to replace me. Then after I wake up, having the possibility of dealing with a three way love triangle, and possibility of me murdering her.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I'm 24 and I have quite a bit of life experience, obviously not as much as someone like yourself. I respect the fact you have direct experience of working with patients in nursing homes and Alzheimer patients but I don't see how your points are relevant to the post of mine which you quoted.

Originally posted by riley

Originally posted by fatdad
if my wife was in a coma i would try all means to wake her...also the police must have no murderers or other serious criminals to catch in that area...

Rape is not a serious crime now? So your wife would be fine with you having sex with her while she's sleeping or in a coma? that wouldn't bother her at all?

The responses in this thread disturb me much more than the story itself.

She did not consent.. for all we know he may have been a very good husband.. or they may not have had sex for the last ten years. Marriage does not make rape ethically okay.. even if raping your wife is still legal in some backwards american states..

It's comforting to know that nursing homes are using such precautions and I think cameras should be standard in all coma wards and where patients may be vulnerable.

[edit on 12-9-2008 by riley]

Oh jeeze, what now, spouses have to have it written in a living will that if I go into a coma that they will be allowed to have sex with me? How doesn't marriage make sex ok with a spouse? If her marriage was that bad, she could have already divorced him. If there was abuse on her part, her side of the family would have already spoken up against him. They would have had the police investigate him to see if he didn't knock her senseless. I would have had concerns if the extended family came out against him.

Originally posted by LoneGunMan

This world needs to pull its head out of its collective butt and take a fricking breathe!

[edit on 12-9-2008 by LoneGunMan]

I just want to thank you for breathing some human soul into this thread.

Most people responding in this thread show some nasty pre-judgemental behaviour making deep cuts from a narrow view.