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For the ATS/BTS Ladies

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posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 03:29 PM
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IT'S GOOD TO BE A WOMAN

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with

the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3 Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate

without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often

to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without

having to picture them naked Some of us can, anyway.

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger,

we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

13. We will never regret piercing our ears

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence

because they aren't listening anyway.





posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 04:44 PM
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this is so right and so funny
thanks ad


any other jokes for girls?



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 05:08 PM
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Yep, got another one. Kinda nasty though!
**************************
Women Are Evil By Nature..

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the flustered bartender managed to stammer.

"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.
ROFL!!!!



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 05:11 PM
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Naturally, it’s good to be women because men cannot exist without women, who make babies and so on and so forth...

[edit on 2008-9-10 by pikypiky]



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 06:04 PM
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reply to post by AccessDenied
 


...and we wonder how many of the men are reading this?

I really liked the Evil joke, it had me giggling! lol



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 06:22 PM
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Ahahahahaha!! I loved them both-- thanks for the laugh.



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 08:58 PM
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This is a favorite of mine:

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.

If only men would listen.



posted on Sep, 10 2008 @ 10:25 PM
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reply to post by martalen
 


Oh..I absolutely LOVE that one!


MMMMM- Bacon. lol.



posted on Sep, 11 2008 @ 01:12 AM
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hillarious

btw. i love men!

`````````````````````````
one of my favs


what is the difference between clouds and men?

none
if they go away it could be alas a beautiful day



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 09:20 AM
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Too funny AD.

Here's one of my favorites, especially the LAST LINE:

Do you know what would have
happened if it had been
Three Wise Women
instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,

Arrived on time,

Helped deliver the baby,

Cleaned the stable,

Made a casserole,

Brought practical gifts,

AND THERE WOULD BE PEACE ON EARTH!

(I love being a woman) Rush



posted on Sep, 12 2008 @ 12:05 PM
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reply to post by hsur2112
 


BOOYAH!
Too bad you can't change the history books for that one.



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 02:31 AM
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*growls*

4.We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

I thought you would keep my secret!


I don't dance.
, if i did, it would cause instant cancer for anyone that watched.



Manly Roswell.

[edit on 14/9/2008 by roswell1]



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 03:50 AM
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ladies are just mad that our version of pms is a hell of a lot more pleasant.

p.m.s. for guys=power, money, and sex.



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 05:16 AM
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Lord, hunny....PMS is nothing to be dreaded and avoided....I've learned to love mine and regularly use it as a weapon. Dismissing PMS as a curse to be ashamed of is taking sooo much power away from women, when we should be celebrating how powerful we are, and how much energy we have...the only reason it gets distorted and nasty at certain times of the month is because we're told it's a bad thing that we have to suppress and deny and take medication for....when really it's a huge source of fuel for us. Get feisty and argumentative...more than usual even...and *enjoy* it!

So I say...relax and let the PMS flow...use it for creative stuff like decorating the house, (or getting someone else to do it for you...)shopping, eating, sex, more shopping....you know the stuff...and arguing...arguing is very good for PMS, and makes a girl feel in control, I've found. This girl anyway.....Ha ha!!!

Cait



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 05:41 AM
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Originally posted by caitlinfae

So I say...relax and let the PMS flow...use it for creative stuff like decorating the house, (or getting someone else to do it for you...)


yeah cait
i prefer somebody else doing it for me but the way i love it


and the pms for girls is not only the bodily version it is also power money sex
i got the power and use it!
i got the money to shopp
i love sex

ha


no pms at its best makes me feeling much more alive
a life in cycles wonderful
grounds me to earth and opens heaven for me



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 05:46 AM
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You Men do realize that PMS is only aggravated by YOUR presence, right?



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 06:14 AM
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Originally posted by caitlinfae
let the PMS flow...


isin't that what it does in the first place? oh btw, will the flow be regular or heavy?


[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]

[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]

[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 06:22 AM
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Originally posted by LordInfamous

Originally posted by caitlinfae
let the PMS flow...


isin't that what it does in the first place? oh btw, will the flow be regular or heavy?


[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]

[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]

[edit on 14-9-2008 by LordInfamous]

That depends on how much you aggravate us with your presence.



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 06:29 AM
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Originally posted by AccessDenied

That depends on how much you aggravate us with your presence.


which i doubt they really realize


or they have to bring some cheese cake and some chocolate around!
that will reduce the aggravation a bit, but just a tiny little bit



posted on Sep, 14 2008 @ 06:30 AM
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post removed because the user has no concept of manners

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