While I couldn't possibly feel or even imagine your experience on that day, as I read your description of what you go through every year towards the end of August, I had a clear understanding of it, because I feel it, too. Not to the extent you do... not as "big" as you do, but a representation of what I think you must feel.
My heart is with you today.
In 2001, August 19, I quit smoking.
Several weeks later, I never wanted a cigarette more, but I resisted. But it's my anniversary date. My
birthday is the 16th of this month and in 2001, it was spent in a daze... The counselor I saw said I was "too attached" to the people who had lost
their lives and their loved ones... I didn't agree. I was attached just the right amount. But these weeks around Sept 11 always bring the same
memories, the same feelings of nicotine withdrawal and birthday sadness. One thing I remember most was sitting watching TV with my husband, both of us crying at the people who were still looking for their loved ones, DAYS later. Still hoping against all hope, against all logic and reason, that somehow their daughter, son or sister had somehow survived and was somewhere to be found... alive...
I haven't wanted to think about it either. But here it is... today... and I finally came over here to say a word to you, in support of you. Because you were so close, so moved, so touched, so hurt...
I'm glad we're friends.
BH
