I don't want to talk about it . . . , page 4

reply to post by schrodingers dog

Hi Schrodingers,

Thank you for the invite to this thread. Rarely do I post outside the 911 conspiracy forum. I am not very popular there as I am a skeptic.

My family is all from Massachusetts and we all come from a long line of firefighters. (I chose another profession) My older brother has been on the force for over 20 years now. He volunteered as a grief counselor many years ago. His job was to offer comfort and support to those that were involved with tragic events. So often we forget what these first responders go through.

When a child is missing you have the state, local police, other volunteers etc. looking for this child. The sad reality is that not all get found alive. When this happens we all think of the poor child and the family. (rightfully so) What does not get any press is the sadness and overwhelming grief of those that were searching. My brother helped those people.
My brother pulled his best friend out of a fire they were fighting together. Charred to the point he could only tell were his teeth were. He also spent a week in Worcester Ma. to help the brothers that lost 9 of their own at one time.

He thought he has seen it all. Until of course the day the earth stopped. He was called within a couple days post 911 to get to ground zero to help his brothers deal with their grief.

Dropping him off, he seemed determined to get down there to help. I didn't hear from him for about a week. Then he called and asked me to pick him up at the train station in Rhode Island.

I will never forget the look on his face when I saw him get off the train. He had witnessed the results of a war. Something that we all only had seen on TV as children. We all watched those "other" countries on fire, gun shots heard, dead bodies in the streets. It was real, and it hit our home.

He sat in my car, smiled, and gave me an FDNY baseball hat. The smile soon disappeared. Stories started flowing like water. Stories that his brothers were telling him as he visited them at their stations. Stories of the bodies still being removed. My brother got home to his wife and 4 children a different man. Being an EMT he had seen many things. Nothing like this though.

His smile disappeared for months. He shut down completely. My once outgoing, non-stop, little league coach, give you his shirt off his back, big brother was in a chair all day and night. Staring at the ceiling. I would sit with him for hours asking him to talk to me. He was detached. He would tell me that he was so afraid to close his eyes because of all the visions of his past would return. The people he saw dead from car accidents, his dead burnt friend, and what he had witnessed at ground zero.

Finally late in the summer of 01, he chose to "go away" for a while. He left his family to seek therapy. He came back better, but still not my big brother.
His meds kept him sedated somewhat. It wasn't until mid 2002 that he came back to his family. He was himself..... somewhat.But even today, as you look in his eyes you can still see that blankness. Almost like a sharks eyes.

This is why I am so passionate about 911 and the families that still suffer today. I think of them almost every day and pray that they will all find peace.

I hope the same for you.

[edit on 8-9-2008 by ThroatYogurt]