posted on Sep, 6 2008 @ 04:45 AM
I've been listening to the ATS podcasts for months, but it was something on one of the BTS relationship threads that finally got me to register. This
has been bugging me for years and no one, not even my therapist, has given me a satisfactory reply.
So this 21-year-old guy posted about not being able to get a girlfriend. I've got news for you, buddy: I'm 36, and it *can* get worse. And for the
last twenty years, I've been getting the same effing useless advice (no offense against you guys in general, but boy is this advice annoying!) that
Spencer and Doc gave this poor sap in the last BTS Mix show: "Get some self-confidence and stop being so interested."
It. Doesn't. Work. If I *had* any self-confidence, I wouldn't have this problem, now would I? I can't exactly go down to the grocery store and buy
a case of self-confidence to top myself off with. And I *am* interested. I don't have this miracle "turn off my emotions" switch that all you
well-meaning advice-givers seem to think is standard issue on a human. Either I'm a psychological cripple, or PEOPLE CAN'T WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND
DECIDE TO HAVE NO INTEREST IN LOVE OR SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, there are ways to boost self-confidence. I know this; I know this from experience. The problem is, every time I get enough of it to express
interest in a woman, I get shot down cold and *lose* it all! What the Hades? I guess I just have to swear off any interest in women for five or six
years until I've built up my self-confidence enough that it can survive two or three or ten or twenty or a hundred or a thousand hits.
And as for that lack of interest, I suppose I can fake it. Build an asexual, unromantic persona for myself. Be less than honest. Lie through my
frigging teeth to the very people I'm trying to "be myself" (another wonderful piece of advice that I've heard so many times it makes me puke)
for. The really, truly disgusting thing about that is that I'm horrified that it might *actually work*. If that really is the way to do it, if faking
disinterest will really have women tying themselves naked to my bedposts like everyone seems to think it will, then we as a species don't deserve to
I don't get it. After over two decades of trying to figure out how to get this whole love thing *started* I Do. Not. Get it. I even tried an online
service and got told that I was so hopeless they wouldn't take my money. I guess I'm just an evolutionary dead end.
Hope humanity doesn't need my genes six generations from now, because they won't be around to use!