Originally posted by MCory1
I know there's people around here who suffer from depression
… you want someone to listen and talk to about your problems
.…where people can discuss whatever problems they have, or tell their stories about depression
thanks for the thread
i am a bit confused these days.
dunno if i just feel bad or if it is a real depression.
therefore i also need some advices how i could deal with the matter - sure no medical advice but advice by people who are familiar with such
really dunno how to start.
i am seperated from my "hubby" for 2 years now - which is pretty ok.
during my marriage i was under constant pressure.
he got high ethical demands which i wasn.t able to full fill and i really didn.t wanted to full fill.
one of his demand was "being honest about EVERYTHING" which meant i had to tell him everything but it wouldn.t be handled the same way by him. he
was a kind of professional councelor and therefore he acted in fights like me being his patient which didn.t solved the situation.
the issue which led to seperation was him reading my emails in which i talked to friends about my situation - like i do it now - and he accused me of
being illoyal (he just read my mail on purpose !) and refused to talk to me for a week - i was so despreate at that time that for the first time in my
life i thought the easiest solution would be to jump infront of driving cars!
his "reason" for not talking to me was: "that's the way i treat traitors"
then we seperated - i felt better! much better
laughter came back into my life, i was able to find my humor again
i started to work self employed and for about 9 months it worked pretty fine
than my only customer refused for really no reason - be assured i don.t want to present myself as a victim - to work with me anymore
ok than welfare, and i was able to gain some more customers but not enough to be independent from welfare
the situation now is
completely welfare with very little work with customers
i feel paralyzed, dunno what to do
longing for a partner, but still feel abhorent as my hubby called me - - yeah i need some more selfconfident
got some friends but i feel that they are backtracking.
situation changed - they got families i am a single mom with 1 son
my second best friend recently moved to london - she was the one with whom i use to go out when having a little spare time
my best friend is backtracking due to own depression, to much work in life, and to much trouble. i can.t talk to her on the phone coz she doesn.t like
it and therefore she doesn.t answer it
this morning she called me, telling me she feels misrable, that she can.t talk, that she wil get back to me and that she loves me
haning up i was lelft with something i can.t describe.
wasn.t able to cry, although there was so much pressure in my that i wanted to cry
than i sat down and didn.t only ask myself, what this "love ya" of my friend is worthwhile, i also started to think what is about my life
is it really a life?
i just feel blue, am hardly able to eat, feeling really paralyzed, tired all the time, waking up to often during the night, and don.t lets talk about
i am getting up only because my son needs me to get his lunch done and all that stuff
what shall i do? could it be a problem because of the lack of some iron? i am really confued
sorry maybe it is wrong to write it here in this thread - maybe it is just a rant
but i wish i could be able to feel joy, to laugh, to cry just to feel myself again,
i really have no clue who i am?
edit to ad:
i would rather spend my days in bed or at least underneath the table with a blanket covering me - i can.t sleep that much to being awake - although if
i sleep 8 or 10 hours
[edit on 9-9-2008 by orange-light]