posted on Sep, 7 2008 @ 03:28 PM
The following is solely for comedic relief, and besides, it's my "ass" that's on the line here, not yours and it is not part of this contest. I
had to reply with something since there's been such an 'astronomical' amount of submissions. By the way, does this outfit Dave Rabbit made me wear
make my "ass" look bigger?
Johnny answers questions and poses for the press before heading off on the latest ATS Investigation with their new mascot TRIPOD, the
(The Press conference starts with queries from various competing mediums)
JOHNNY "I'm ready to answer any questions you might have, we'll start with you... yes you there in the back".
PRESS "Yes Thank You, Bill Ryan with 'Project Camelot', should I be addressing you, or your 'ASS' for my question?"
The crowd giggles
JOHNNY "You'll probably be better off addressing my 'ass' since your so well versed in leading your interviews with
questions that can only suit your own agenda and theories, next question. Ahhm... yes.. you there, yes you, the one getting his picture taken and
standing next to your executive producer with the microphone".
PRESS "Thank You, I'm George Noory with Coast to Coast AM... Now Johnny... Since you've gone public with your 'ASS'
exposed, have you found that the public's interpretation of you has changed at all"?
JOHNNY "Yes it has, it's made people realize that when it comes to 'asses', everyone has one, some just flaunt it better
than others, next question please, err.. ok, the balding man over there jumping up and down to draw more attention to himself".
PRESS "Thank You, Michael Horn, international representative for Billy Meier. It was foretold back in 1975 by Billy that one
day someone from the North would show off his 'ASS' for all to exalt, is it your 'ASS' were suppose to take notice of"?
JOHNNY "Michael, I swear you come up with some of the most 'asinine' statements and proclamations, the answer is of course
Johnny mumbles to himself how he hates press conferences and secretly wishes his partner Dave Rabbit were here instead of this 3-legged ass. At
least Dave can talk without someones hand being up his ass.
[edit on 9/7/2008 by JohnnyAnonymous]