posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 12:57 PM
So sorry to hear of your troubles. The only thing I can say is that I, too, went through a similar period of depression and disillusionment several
I've always been, much like you, a person who sought out deeper mysteries and attempted to uncover truth. I never did get in quite as much trouble
as you, but for this, that's neither here nor there. I reached a point where I think I needed logic and reason more than fanciful ideas, because
those were getting me nowhere. The problem with that this reversal of thinking seemed to throw me into a depression. There was no longer any magic,
god or mystery in the universe. All there was was the here and now, what I could see in front of me and account for. All bigger picture and magic in
the world was lost.
I'm not sure just what changed, but it seemed that meditation has helped in my search for answers. Much has been revealed, and my anxiety level has
gone down somewhat. If anything, I don't do it near enough, and it can be hard to find the time. Even if its just while I'm driving to work, I try
to stay mindful of my breathing, even if I'm unable to do anything else. It seems to help take a person out of being caught up in worrying about the
future or dwelling on the past, and keep your attention on the present moment, where it needs to be. I have noticed other effects as well, but I'm a
little hesitant to talk about it here.
I hope this helps, it may or may not, but this is what helped draw me out of my funk.