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Please help to open me up again........

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posted on Sep, 1 2008 @ 11:29 PM
I used to believe in the paranormal. I used to spend so much time, energy, and money into searching for the truth about such unexplained activity. When I was younger I had deep insights. Even at age 5, my parents were impressed with my take on philosophy. Later people would come to consider me a creative and artistic genius. I felt like there was still hope back then, I felt like there was still awe in the world. I was a very sensitive child and considered myself open to spiritual activity.

Eventually years went by until college. I realized I had placed so much time into the paranormal that I had neglected my school work and in searching and attempting to expose the truth I had been arrested by the FEDs 2 times by age 19 (That is another story for another time). After nearly going to prison for a while I got off with 100 hours or so of community service. I don't know if it's on my permanent record. But story short me and 2 other people were basically charged with terrorist activity by breaking into a monument. As you can see, I was quite willing to do anything to find the truth. This I saw as a problem after awhile and I knew I couldn't go on living a life of spiritual search. I had lost my shot to get into a good school which I was completely capable of. In fact I had a pretty good shot of getting into Ivy League. I was working a dead end job to try and travel the world to further my own searching but felt like I was getting nowhere. Once I hit rock bottom with the FEDs and drugs, I knew I couldn't go on anymore with this mindset. So I started to approach everything from a different angle. I began to read up on what the skeptics had to say. Going about everything with scientific precision. Studying physics, instead of paranormal stories which now seem so absurd.

But now there is some type of emptiness. Everything just feels so hollow. There is no more awe like there once was. I used to be able to see all the different possibilities from a simple story. I could almost see the pattern. As though there was some super-intelligence governing all laws. A super-intelligence only beginning to be discovered with Quantum Physics. I know never to push it to the extreme I was at before. I became reckless. I had neglected myself and put the search for truth before my own health and others.

So I'm asking the metaphysical community for help. How can I open myself up to this phenomena again in a healthy and artistic way?

With much love.

posted on Sep, 1 2008 @ 11:39 PM
To be fair, I was only arrested once by the FEDs and threatened the other time.

posted on Sep, 1 2008 @ 11:42 PM
too bad about all that happening to you...we need big thinkers who also happen to go to very great schools. I don't know what to tell you about your search for the truth, other than i too feel a lot of it hinges on quantum, and the overall design does reveal itself sometimes. I hope you get yourself back on track, and i'm glad to have you along my side in the search for truth!

posted on Sep, 1 2008 @ 11:47 PM
reply to post by Enigma Publius

Thanks man. I am starting to get my life back on track, even though I switched my major because business, law, or education just wasn't for me. As you may have guessed I am persuing art now. I want to some how combine art, particularly music, with spiritualism yet stay away from the whole New Age genre. I am basically becoming a music producer as I have quite a knack for it. I've also written over 200 songs in the course of 4-5 years.

By simply opening my awareness, studying, and staying positive can I open myself up again?

posted on Sep, 2 2008 @ 12:00 AM
reply to post by SkepticalSteve

awareness, openminded, staying positive, STUDYING....none of those things are the easier alternative Ian, and you say: can i do this by simply ....
it's not simple! you need to remember that! you are already making the right move towards truth by doing not what is easiest, but what is necessary to discovery! IMO, u are more so tuned in than out, don't be so hard on yourself, you're going to do great!

[edit on 2-9-2008 by Enigma Publius]

posted on Sep, 2 2008 @ 09:20 PM
reply to post by SkepticalSteve

Hey Steve,

Pleased to hear you're staying away from the 'New-Age' circus (that's a good start).

Best advice I can offer is to remind you that you can never lose something you've either learned or that came naturally to you ... you can subdue it or bury it but you can't lose it. That said your spirituality and links with such are still within you (somewhere).

And I don't think you will have too much trouble reclaiming it if you try using your own music. I'm sure you must already be well aware that the human body reverberates to it's own natural vibration ... or that certain acoustics can react with and stimulate that inner-reverb.

So what better way to re-ignite your spiritual flame than by using the acoustics of your own music to create the matrix required ?

Why not put it to the test by using different musical pieces ... maybe that's why you wrote so many in a relatively short time ... they are your spiritual litmus paper. Once you've determined your body's natural notes and pitch, then you can work on fine-tuning the whole concept (sorry the pun was unintentional).


posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 09:17 PM
reply to post by woodwytch


posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 06:59 AM
reply to post by SkepticalSteve

No problem I hope it helps.
If you want to ask anything else about this feel free to u2u me or check-out the links in my signature below this post.

Remember ... balance is everything my friend.


posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 07:02 AM
reply to post by SkepticalSteve

What is it you are actually trying to achieve? A sense of awe with the universe? The reason I'm asking is you might be leaping to conclusions. You seem to have found a strong sense or logic, which is a rare gift indeed - rarer than any self-proclaimed psychic, chi-conjuror, or medium.

If you are seeking a sense of awe in the universe, then read about quantum mechanics. Take some courses at night school. Or even astronomy - there are more actual wonders in the universe than here on Earth.

Don't squander your rationality - it is the only tool that can get you through life without endangering you. Don't lose yourself in a make-believe rabbit hole.

posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 12:37 PM
Oh dave, I appologize for laughing but you really are quite a funny guy you know.

After reading all you doom ... gloom and naysayer posts on another thread hear, I just saw the post you made here.

Then I noticed your 'mood' in the sidebar ... 'DEPRESSED' !!!

You really should try to lighten-up and aim for a more balanced outlook ... you might feel like a different man and maybe stop trying to bring everyone else down to your level ... and stop trying to convert people to your beliefs. Humans have that little thing called 'freewill' and tend to form an opinion that suits them on a personal level.

Give it a try ... you might like it !

Back on topic, you're right about the universe and astronomy etc. it's fascinating out there.


ps; Please don't take this post the wrong way ... you really should try to balance your perspective. Having a dominant left-brain (dogmatic logic) can be just as harmful as having a dominant right-brain (intuitive imagination).

And I appologize for laughing at you.

posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 12:57 PM

So sorry to hear of your troubles. The only thing I can say is that I, too, went through a similar period of depression and disillusionment several years ago.

I've always been, much like you, a person who sought out deeper mysteries and attempted to uncover truth. I never did get in quite as much trouble as you, but for this, that's neither here nor there. I reached a point where I think I needed logic and reason more than fanciful ideas, because those were getting me nowhere. The problem with that this reversal of thinking seemed to throw me into a depression. There was no longer any magic, god or mystery in the universe. All there was was the here and now, what I could see in front of me and account for. All bigger picture and magic in the world was lost.

I'm not sure just what changed, but it seemed that meditation has helped in my search for answers. Much has been revealed, and my anxiety level has gone down somewhat. If anything, I don't do it near enough, and it can be hard to find the time. Even if its just while I'm driving to work, I try to stay mindful of my breathing, even if I'm unable to do anything else. It seems to help take a person out of being caught up in worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, and keep your attention on the present moment, where it needs to be. I have noticed other effects as well, but I'm a little hesitant to talk about it here.

I hope this helps, it may or may not, but this is what helped draw me out of my funk.

posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 01:30 PM
reply to post by SkepticalSteve

To answer one of your questions, yes it is on your permanent record. If it has to do with the feds, it is a felony. You can get is expunged, and I recommend you look into that. The record will deny you security clearances and will also hurt your credit and applications for student loans and grants.

It is good to always keep an open mind. I tend to get skeptical at a lot of the videos and claims made by some of the well known names out there. I do believe everyone has some type of ESP, and there are true psychics and others with paranormal abilities.
Two things to look out for:
1. If anyone charges money or asks for a donation. (This does not mean they don't have an ability, but it does mean to be extra careful if they do.)
2. If someone tries to pass off a magic trick as psychic ability. Uri Geller used to do this, but has stopped calling himself psychic.
Good luck on your journey in life, and take care of the legal problems.

posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 11:40 PM
Thanks for the posts so far. I should probably specify.

I'm not sure if I was actually arrested. I was basically held at gun point by the FEDs, my 14 year old brother being one of them. My Pre-Med friend being another. Before we got into the Jaguar two federal officers pulled out their guns and said something along the lines of "Get the F--- in the car and stay there or we will shoot your f---ing head off! All of you and that kids!" At first I was a bit upset because someone talking about my brother that way who has a gun is a coward. If he said it to my face without a weapon, or a knife I can assure you he would be in the hospital. It's not that I'm that tough....but the officer that specifically said it I'm pretty sure was half human, half muskrat. A few minutes later I had a good chuckle at them. Eventually they questioned all of us separately because they claimed they had seen the black Jaguar take off from the "scene of the crime". Even though I think they were over reacting to us breaking into a monument. Eventually they called my parents.....only because my brother was under 18. They searched the car, against our rights and found a gun. The officers must have been somewhat retarded because my friend nervously looked at me smirking and said something like "'s my moms. She teaches school children and shows it to them sometimes....". At that I point I was thinking we were completely finished (for lack of not being able to curse) but for some astonishing miracle he bought that excuse. Now at this point I was thinking the officers were most likely mentally unstable. What with wanting to shoot my 14 year old brothers head off and agreeing that a gun brought to school by the teacher would be a good learning mechanism for kindagardeners.

Eventually when they felt their balls were big enough they said they were not going to write up the paper work to have us arrested because they said they had been pulling an awful shift and just really didn't care enough. They sent us home with a court date.

[edit on 5-9-2008 by SkepticalSteve]

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