posted on Sep, 8 2008 @ 04:10 AM
Alright bro I'll throw you a bone here because I really feel where you're coming from. I didn't have a lot of confidence in school because I was
teased pretty relentlessly in elementary school.
Not because I was an odd kid or anything but because it was really easy to make me blush lol so (always girls) people would make fun of me to make me
turn red and it took till probably the end of high school to get over my fear of ridicule. Even though I no longer had that problem, I was afraid it
would happen again and avoided situations with girls that might put me in a position for it to take place. Anyway, I know how you feel.
Here's what you have to do. Firstly, stop over thinking. Even though society brands women as the ones who put priority on feelings and
communication, they're not overly hard to connect with; even if you happen to say something stupid, you won't be so easily judged.
Second, work on your confidence and ways to express it. A great way of doing this is going to the gym and getting in at least decent shape. Get
some white strips and whiten up your teeth, smile a lot in public, women are much more likely to approach you if you're smiling and giving off good
vibes. Dress well, as in don't wear old stuff with holes in it or whatever, women like a nicely dressed dude. Don't skip out on personal hygiene,
shave, smell good, take care of yourself and it will show.
Third, speak your mind. When I was overly shy, I always worried that I would say the wrong things and screw up so I barely said anything to
girls to protect myself in that sense. Even if you don't have anything insightful or brilliant to say, anything is better than nothing; plus if
something stupid comes out, laugh about it like you planned it that way.
Forth, under absolutely no circumstances do you take advice on women, from women; ever. They have less than zero idea what they want and
taking their advice will totally ruin any chance you have in the real world. The key to getting a girl to like you is really quite cold.. don't care
so much, don't give them too much attention, don't be a yes man, never say you're sorry, etc. Women like to be ignored a bit, that's just the way
it is. Success is based on how well you can maintain the balance of attention:neglect. Even if you're available and dating one girl, act as though if
she were gone another would instantly take her place.
Finally, find a practice girl to get your confidence up since you're coming off a 4 year dry spell. Someone you really don't care at all
about to bounce your game off of and see what works. Also if you're not willing to have sex, chances are you won't have much of a selection, women
demand sex as much as men. I've never dated a girl that didn't want to have sex after a week or two.
Dont look for your soul mate in every single person you date. You need long term practice to get good enough at what you're doing to be able
to snag a keeper. Plus you're back to over thinking every situation if that's what you're doing with each girl.
Beer to you sir!