Women, Sex and Marriage

reply to post by Gazrok


Of course there will be "down times", if you will!! That is only normal. It sounds like you have a great marriage. Congratulations to you.

reply to post by Azador


How sad for you. A loving, trusting relationship is the best thing ever. I am fortunate enough to belong to one. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Twenty five years strong.

reply to post by yankeerose


Cheaters will feel like cheaters. It will destroy their very being, because carrying that around with you is a soul gutter.

Originally posted by sc2099
I think that if a man takes a mistress it's because he is unhappy with his wife's uxorious performance. Duh, you say. He wouldn't cheat if he were happy with her. But to this I say he is unhappy with things other than her lack of sexual desire. He is unhappy with all the other things a wife is supposed to do.

Although I find the first part of your post quite insightful, I will have to respectfully disagree 100% with the above-quoted passage. And I think it is worth looking at in some depth because I hear this a lot from women, and I find it astounding that the collective wisdom of female-hood doesn't seem to realize: A man can be attracted to another woman without it having the slightest thing in the world to do with his wife, girlfriend, or anyone else.. It is not a "referendum" on his current Significant Other (I hate that phrase...) in most cases...its just the male vital spirit run amok. One thing has nothing to do with the other on the root level.

Is this something difficult or painful for people to admit for some reason? Because it doesn't have to be, and it doesn't necessarily affect a man's love for a woman in the slightest if he happens to have a "friend" or two. Now this will seem very crass, and a lot of men possibly don't feel this way (although I'm convinced deep down they are lying to themselves if they deny it...). But a lot of men do. And I would like to remind anyone whose sensibilities are offended by this rude truth to contemplate the fact that in many cultures around the world, this is completely accepted by everyone, male and female tacitly or otherwise. It is to a great deal in the modern developed-nation world, too.

reply to post by aero56


Congrats on the 25 years! My wife and I are going on 8 years now. I think it helps that we're both big kids at heart... For example, theme parks are still our favorite activity (Busch Gardens, Adventure Island, Islands of Adventure, Disneyworld, Sea World, etc. are all within an easy drive).

Originally posted by whatukno
Two things go wrong when people get married. Men figure they don't need to wine, dine, or be romantic to their wives anymore. And women feel they have to change a man in order to make them "housebroken".

These two things combined ruins a perfectly good sex life. Women want that perfect guy that they themselves have molded and refined into the man she really wishes she married. Men feel that after the marriage they have conquered this territory and there is no longer any mystery to it.

The one line that a woman can say that will ultimately destroy any hope at a good sex life again is the phrase, "is sex all you think about?" guess what lady? You might as well pack up now, cause down the road your going to regret that statement. Cause that get's translated in a guys mind as, "I don't want you anymore" So the guy feels rejected and eventually will stop trying to woo you at all.

Guys in long term relationships screw up by not being romantic, not being spontaneous and settling into a rut. This translates in a woman's mind into "hes not interested in me anymore"

My suggestion to guys. Be spontaneous, be romantic, be exciting to your woman. Don't pressure her for sex, and don't neglect her either.

My advice to women. Don't try and change your guy, if your man isn't the guy you really want don't waste his time by marring him. You both will just end up unhappy in the end.

I think the number one problem is the definition of "Romance" everyone has in their head. Romance as defined by the answers from people here is something only men do and only women receive.

Maybe that is part of the problem? Maybe women should practice romance as well? Life is about give and take, and if only one person is giving while the other is doing all the taking I can imagine it would get extremely boring and disheartening. People just need to stop being so narcissistic and self absorbed.