posted on Aug, 29 2008 @ 07:46 AM
I love my country, but I hate it. I want to love my country more but because of what it has become I also want to hate it more. I hate the war
mongering. The lies presented to people who no further knowledge of conflicts. I'm a mixed bag of feelings and I don't know which way to think or
go. I can't seem to move my mind from this love and devotion. I see pro-USA propaganda and instantly I want to believe it and make it my own, but
my analytical side says, "don't". My thinking side says don't believe this BS.
I'll give you an example of the conflict raging within my mind. I understand the background issues of the Georgian / Russian conflict. I have been
following it for years. I understand that Georgia threw the first stone unlike what most people of the USA understand because of media saturation
with a pro-Georgian agenda. I hate the fact that the USA is supporting Georgia with such gusto that threats are flying towards Russia. However, I
also find feelings of hatred towards Russia rising up inside of me out of nowhere. I want Russia to fail because of love for my country, but I don't
want to support my country in this issue.
I think I've been such a "lover of my country" for so long that I can't possibly start thinking in any way that goes against that love without
strong feelings arising. Is anyone else conflicted in this way? I mean I can rattle off so many struggles for my mind to deal with.
1. Iraq war and how the surge seems to be working, but my strong feelings against the war overall.
2. The Republic Party which supposedly holds my views of limited government and several social issues holding onto a war mongering foreign policy
that I totally disagree with.
3. Now this Russian / Georgian conflict where the obvious aggressor is Georgia and we blindly support them while threatening a very powerful nation
that if we'd learn to work alongside amazing things could be accomplished. I can see why Russia feels threatened. Countless military bases
surrounding their nation. Pushing pro-west agendas on former soviet states. Missile shields........I mean why are we playing a power game with
Russia? And yet.........I have strong feelings of anger towards Russia just because of some of the truthful ways they have labeled the USA.
So again, is anyone else feeling these same conflicts within your mind? Before a couple years ago I've always been a follower and believer in
everything the USA did. I would have convos with friends about how awesome our military iis and how we can't be stopped. We'd talk about how
awesome it is that we can bring "peace" to the world. My feelings are changing and I don't like what I'm finding out about my country. I don't
like what it is becoming.
Anyone else feeling this way? Any advise on how to take control of the conflicts raging inside my mind?