reply to post by Pseyecle-ops
First, I wanted to say welcome, I enjoyed your read.
Second, I wanted to say to all of you who are being ridiculed and mocked by others, stay strong. You are experiencing things that people who haven't,
don't understand. The shear terror of some of these experiences are unfathomable by those having not had it happen to them. For this, I am glad that
they don't understand, because I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. It is like living in a live horror movie, but you are the chick screaming and running
for your life.
I used to laugh when people told me experiences such as these. I would turn and be like "woe this dude needs help", that is, until it turned on me.
After, it turned on me, there was no more laughing. Not only that, there were no more friends and barely any family to run to. I found myself alone
with no one to talk to. I was shunned by all and the truth is, I deserved it. I've been 4 years alone in this with only "it" to learn from and to
be honest, it is the best thing that could of ever happened to me, because I was an arrogant jerk.
I not only see, but hear and feel these things. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, I am disciplined by such over every misjudgment I make
and I mean EVERY misjudgment. The way I treat others comes back on me 10 times as strong from these "entities", except there is no one I can ask for
help from. These things have humiliated me to tears on more then one occasion and they don't stop when the tears flow. Everything I've ever said,
they can play into my ears. Every thing I've ever done, they can show me in memory. Every way I've made someone feel, they can inflict upon me and
they do with no mercy. Never have they told me to hurt myself, or anyone else, they are strictly assigned to me and to how I treat others and myself
for that matter. When I am just, so are they. When I do wrong, I am tortured, by my own misgivings and when I say tortured...I can't even describe it
to you the anguish of these acts and the fear placed into my heart. I wish this upon no one, because when it happens, you're messing up bad. I say
I'm thankful, because it knocked me off of my pedestal and gave me a second chance to see others pain is more important then my own. I can help now,
instead of try to outsmart everyone. It's made me appreciate being wrong, because every wrong is an opportunity to do right and I am thankful, that
this power cares enough about me to do that.
I know what you guys go through, I can say that and mean it, so again be strong.
For me, I know I will be able to help them if it ever comes down on them and that makes me happy and tearful. At that time, they won't need to say
sorry, they won't need to say anything because, I KNOW what they need...a friend.
Peace to All