Ok I will attempt this.
It might even sound comical I don't know but this is the tragedy of my dating history. I can't remember years because a lot of it took place when I
was very confused.
The first girl I kissed was on a deserted moonlit beach in Greece with shooting stars in the sky and baby turtles running across the sand, she then
dumped me the next day because she had a boyfriend in Germany
A South African girl who was working for the same charity then offered to have sex with me to stop me from moping about so much, an offer I took her
I went back to England and started dating an Irish Girl that was 10 years older then me and was also sleeping with her landlord as a substitute for
paying the rent ( I did not know this until later), she told me that I had made her pregnant and showed me the tests to prove it, she had an abortion
which I felt terrible about and I subsequently found out that the pregnancy was nothing to do with me.
Shattered by this experience I went back to Greece and met a Greek girl, everything went fine with her until I had to meet her parents who were not
impressed at all by my long hair and general hippy attitude (at the time) the relationship lasted for about a year and then we parted.
I then dated an amazingly good looking Brazilian girl who spent weeks more or less stalking me until I agreed to go out with her and then after about
a month told me that she was already married to a millionaire, I should have realised this sooner as she had a penthouse apartment overlooking the
Thames and no visible means of support.
We dated on and off for a few years until I realised that she was a complete psycho who may well stab me while I slept.
After I broke up with the Brazilian she continued to stalk me turning up when I was meeting friends, phoning me in the middle of the night, I met a
French girl and started dating her but the pressure of the stalking put a great deal of pressure on the relationship and one night I just gave in and
kissed the Brazilian girl on the street, the French girl then tried to commit suicide and I got weeks of anonymous abusive phone calls from her
friends. It is the thing that I feel most guilty about in the world
I would like to remind you at this point that I am not making this up.
I ended up going on holiday to Portugal with the Brazilian girl where she basically flirted with anyone with a pulse as payback for me dumping her,
while there I met a girl that was travelling around the world from Austria and we exchanged email addresses. While on the flight back from Portugal a
man two rows in front of us had a heart attack and the Brazilian girl started complaining to me that the stewardesses weren't serving us food because
of it, I decided to dump her once and for all.
She ended up coming to stay with me in London and we had a long distance relationship with me travelling to Austria every few months.
I don't have the energy for any more at the moment if anyone is interested I will write the rest, otherwise I might just go and drown myself in a
edit on 18-12-2010 by davespanners because: (no reason given)