Post your dating history.

BUMPED, just because it desrves to be shared forever as a locked thread on BTS

Originally posted by zazzafrazz
BUMPED, just because it desrves to be shared forever as a locked thread on BTS

bad Zazzy....bad girl...

reply to post by AccessDenied


Don't blame Zazz this was the work of Evil Wuk!

AH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah!

Brilliant Mr Harris...

I am no Jedi, but lot's of girls have been VERY friendly to me.

For that I shall be eternally grateful, to whoever it is up there who pulls the strings!

Last Friday I celebrated the 11th (by giving one gold and one diamond ring) anniversary with someone I met on the ONE night in my entire life that, I DID NOT WANT TO SPEAK TO ANY WOMAN!!!!

True...

The thing is, I was out with my mates, drinking, smoking (which I no longer do) and generally having a right old laugh. The LAST thing I wanted, was female company... For the first (and only) time in my adult life, breasts were OFF the menu that night,,, Or so I thought!
I was laughing a lot, being naturally stupid (as boys do best, IMO), yet somehow, I still managed to attract a Brasilian babe who would not take no for an answer. She even offered to share me with her friend that night!!!??!!
Maybe she saw me as the ultimate challenge? I dunno. I wasn't trying to be nice. In fact I didn't even wanna speak to her. Now it looks like I shall spend the rest of my life with her in my area!

Still makes little sense to me, but I'm not complaining. She gives me respectable space, but stays close enough at the same time (sometimes I don't see her for a month or three, then I see her every day for the next month or three).


My advice to all you struggling chaps is NEVER go looking for it. Never chase a woman past the first hurdle... You shall only end up disappointed.

Be yourselves. If you're not a total knob... Your woman will find you.

Oh gawd, thanks for bumping this!!!!!

I remember the first post was probably the best response I have ever seen.....and I mean ever.

Poor jedimiller, i miss that guys shennanigans

reply to post by OzWeatherman


Agreed! Mark made me laugh for days on end!!

How's you Oz?? Long time!!!


x

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/6ffa0620dbf2.jpg[/atsimg]

oh bad Devo..bad bad bad...

reply to post by AccessDenied


Yet again, the work of Evil Wuk!

you put him up to it?
oh thats just it...

reply to post by AccessDenied


Yes, I admit, my evil knows no bounds. I didn't set Devo up to it, but I did make the Motifake poster

But this thread should live on in the annals of BTS history as the funniest Original Post and First Reply in all of forum history.

~ ANALS is a perfect word choice Wuk.

reply to post by AccessDenied

~ ANALS is a perfect word choice Wuk.

Yes it is, and just like historical records, it should be refreshed now and again to remind us that if we do not learn from the past we are doomed to repeat it.

This thread, oh how I hope that it lives long in the memory of all that post here, is a glorious example of hilarity that can ensue from ones own words.

The brilliance of comedic effect portrayed by Mark Harris's reply to Jedi Miller is akin to The Kids in the Hall, or dare I say it Monty Python in comedic GENUS!

That sort of brilliance should never be forgotten.

Jedi Miller (bless his banned self) provided BTS with straight man fodder the likes of which haven't been seen since the days of vaudeville.

This to BTS history is the equivalent of "Who's on first".



What? Should I add to this thread? Something on topic?

Sure let's look at the long sordid history at What U KNO...

Lost my virginity to a classmate at 15 behind a local convenience store (how freaking romantic.)

Dated several girls in high school, got it on with a couple of them.

Out of high school dated a Sargent in the U.S. Army that actually taught me about sex with women. (yes the drills were long and grueling, but what I learned has served me well, drop and give me twenty has a whole new meaning to me)

Don't know if this count's as sex or a date, but I picked up this lady at a gay bar who took me home and proceeded to beat my ass as a part of foreplay. I had to throw away the dress shirt I had on because of the amount of my blood that stained it. She called me and asked me for a second date, and I declined.

Dated a redheaded postal worker, had to break that off when she got a gun. (probably don't have to explain why.)

Dated a redhead goth woman. (to this day the single best girlfriend I have ever had) ended when she went back to college.

Dated and got married to what I thought was an upstanding respectable woman. (she birthed my child, and then crushed me like an aluminum can, ruined my life and my credit forever.)

Found a redhead that turned out to be completely psychotic, to the point that I actually had her arrested for domestic abuse.

Dated a blonde that turned out to be a crack addict, and figured out that obviously dating and relationships aren't for me.

Overall, the amount of women I have had sex with, maybe 20.

[edit on 1/29/2010 by whatukno]

I saw a chick in a bikini on TV once.

Does that count as a dating history?

It's weird, in Elementary School, I was perceived (I guess) as a born leader (and had girls fighting over me)...but then, I was in the "eww...girls" stage then...

In Middle School, I moved around quite a bit, and for the majority of it, I was in Saudi Arabia, so really a fish out of water, but at least I had a Turkish "girlfriend" for lack of a better term really...Back then, we weren't exactly in the sack in Middle School!!!

In High School (back in the States, and now with a slight English accent), I was in the art clique (which our school was like "Fame" high school, when it came to any of the arts)...but kind of a wallflower guy. I had one good girlfriend hookup, but then she had a crazy (older) ex, that simply wasn't worth dealing with... (the accent went away quickly, by the way...I just pick them up naturally without meaning to)...

After High School was fun....but really just a string of getting lucky at parties. I did have one gal that was kind of a "booty call", but she actually had a boyfriend at the time (I didn't care, as I got the fun without the "hassle" or so I thought at the time)... Couldn't really see myself "dating" her anyhow...(not much in common, other than, you know...) I tried my hand at a few "relationships", but really, it was my own fault these fizzled.

Throughout a lot of these "attempts", I was good friends with my best friend's wife. She was like a sister (at the time). When my buddy died young (in his 20's), our friendship was always solid. She was interested in dating after some time (but I wasn't yet...just didn't seem right).

Eventually though, we both came to our senses and just decided we'd get together. We got engaged for a year, planned and saved for our wedding, and got married... Sunday, we celebrate our 6 year anniversary... I've been lucky enough to find my soulmate.

Originally posted by Russian soldier
I saw a chick in a bikini on TV once.

Does that count as a dating history?

:shk:

reply to post by whatukno


Are you sure they were girls ?
LOL



[edit on 30-1-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]

reply to post by The Utopian Penguin

Are you sure they were girls ?

Oh yes, I am absolutely sure they were girls.

Originally posted by whatukno
reply to post by The Utopian Penguin

 

Are you sure they were girls ?

Oh yes, I am absolutely sure they were girls.

OMG!

Forgot about that....