What type of man is it that would engage to 'unconventional' woman?

Originally posted by asala
Really mate, think about how this thread might make her feel, She may smile but inside this has got to hurt,

I can attest to that: I was with a woman for many years that had a weight issue. It didn't bother me at all, I like it, but it bothered her intensly.
At work, there would be jokes about it, and she would laugh it off ......... only to come home crying for the rest of the evening.

Originally posted by deathpoet69
well am I not doing her a favour?. I dint have to be with her

You sound like a completely different person than the one that was in here yesterday.

reply to post by deathpoet69


thats not so bad dude what are you complaining about.

Originally posted by Scarlett Johanson
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

thats not so bad dude what are you complaining about.

Hello wazzup, loved Lost in Translation by the way, good work.

See ya.

shes sat right here and read everything and this is what she says,

Hi i have read everything you have all said and i appreciate everybodys opinions, it doesnt bother me what hes saying because in my eyes he didnt have to get with me if he didnt want to but something made him inside, which is love. I have said that the only things is i feel like im an object, stick me in a circle and talk about me, telling me good points and bad points type thing. I tend not to read what he says in these posts as i give him his privacy but if he asks then i will gladly sit and read.

Anyway just to take a bit of tension and fieryness off this conversation i am not hurt by what is said or been said so enjoy talking

x

reply to post by Misfit


I can switch character when someone annoys me just do debunk somthing,although I understand its an opinon and she was only asking so, I will apologise. I wundt want to be seen as another certain person, I do have anger problems lol. However, I know i cant take it out on anyone on here and I wundt want to jepodize my membership as i enjoy been on here.


I spoke to my partner and she said the reason i am doing it is because i want to be praised, which in a way i do, because i feel i have acheived somthing that others may not have, mostly because i am doing somthing that "sterotypical" person wundt do in my opinon, however, she said that i shundt need to seek approval of others if i know myself that what i have done is a good thing.

I wanted to know, what i am preceived as by others who look at me and my partner when they see a good looking person going with someone different.
For example, Brad Pit married to overweight woman, i know how it would be preceived but i want to know how brad pit would be preceived for taking that step. thats what am on about.

It seems pretty obvious based on your comments, your spelling, and the comments made by your girlfriend that this girl has at least 20 iq points on you and a better education.

The next time you are feeling so superior in comparison to her, realize she is marrying "down" intellectually speaking.

(He did specifically ask for opinions on what kind of man he is...so in this case commenting on the poster seems perfectly appropriate).

reply to post by Sonya610



I have been out of education since I was 13, so yes she dose have better education.

Secondly, if you can't contribute, don't bother posting in my thread and take your insecurities somwere else.
Shes not marrying down, if it wernt for me she wundt know nothing about the world. System education, is nothing compared to life experiance, your on the wrong site.
I won't be answering you.

Your also probably around about 40 odd if not in your late 40s with a bitter grudge, yah pathenic.


[edit on 17-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

Originally posted by deathpoet69
reply to post by Sonya610

 

Your also probably around about 40 odd if not in your late 40s with a bitter grudge, yah pathenic.

[edit on 17-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

Wow sounds like sour grapes almost. What has Sonyas age got to do with anything? Most women get angry at men who post derrogetory stuff about women because of the woman's size or age or looks. It has nothing to do with the way we look ourselves. We stand up for our fellow woman. Hot women get pissed off too.

I know that. However, this bitter JELOUS individual has turned a some what negtive reponse on to myself for some unknown reason. This could possibly only be for the fact that she has been 'immedatly uncomfortable' of her own inadequate a problem of maintaing a loving accepting relationship and has not been forunate to stay with a man because of her own selfish reasons.

I dont have a problem with my partners weight what so ever, I wundt be with the girl if i did.

I believe this bitter woman has no understanding of my question within my thread therefore is not entitled in my opinon to be in this thread.

This thread is about to be closed, as it hasnt come to a conclusion. Therefore this shows that the minority of ATS users, are trying to debunk those with genuine open mind opinons.

My partner has informed you that it is ok so accept it. I know my own partner, your complete strangers, so why should I be botherd?. The simple question was how do people precive an adaptable person with an un adaptable person in the "modern western society grid" ?
it has not yet been answerd.
Please close the thread. I can almost guarantee that a woman or man to accuse me of nonesness in person would certinaly be condem in the most dictated brutal agonising depression that would over ride the fear of conspricy of the new world order.

It is of my professional opinon as a trainee psychologist and special police constable that the individual should seriously be suggested to seek counselling or a phycaratrist to help over come the diffculty that she faced been a mother or lack off and reads this particular link Insecurities


I wish the invidual good luck to over come these's difficult times. :w:

[edit on 17-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

Psychology. Great topic.

It seems we have an individual that is very insecure and that often puts others down (including those closest to him) in various ways to build up his own self esteem. The original post is a good example. And this is happening when the romance is NEW and this individual is all in LOVE!

Fast forward 5 years. Relationship is not so new, it is marriage and it is the daily grind. There is stress, baby crying all night, house in disarray, money is tight, no time or funds to go out partying, job is stressful because the "jerk" of a boss is unreasonable and constantly putting the guy down. Wife is tired and not always saying sweet supportive ego building things. Wife complains at times, she even criticizes at times!

Less "me" time, rarely the center of attention, outside stress factors, partner who is busy and tired and doesn't show constant adoration and isn't always agreeable, etc...

If insensitive mean spirited comments can be thrown around now when it's "new love", one can only imagine what the future will hold when things hit a rough patch.

reply to post by deathpoet69

Maybe a different viewpoint could be interjected .................

Sonya610 and myself do NOT get along, at all. I've had words with her because we disagree on concepts. In one thread I remember it started to get out of hand between her and I.

My point in saying that is I am not jumping in this to back up a friend or whatnot, but jumping in to say you rrrreally have her wrong in this jelousy bit and all that. Maybe you and her have had some U2U words, I don't know, but within this thread the only thing Sonya610 has done is speak her opinion, but not in an ill-mannered way.

What I see is that you simply didn't like what she had to say about your situation in which you brought into the open, and are now trying to shut her out. She was blunt, but she wasn't hostile against as you are almost portraying her to be.

Originally posted by Misfit
Sonya610 and myself do NOT get along, at all. I've had words with her because we disagree on concepts. In one thread I remember it started to get out of hand between her and I.

Thank you for your kind words. For the record I do not remember any conflict. The nick seems somewhat familiar and there probably was a conflict but I quickly forget most disagreements.

But if you got that fired up about it, and burned it into your memory perhaps it was an interesting debate. I don't use the Foe feature so I can't really keep track of the people that I have argued with, which is a good thing as each new thread is typically a clean slate.

[edit on 17-8-2008 by Sonya610]

Originally posted by Sonya610
as each new thread is typically a clean slate.

How ironic of you to say that ....... I've been trying REALLY HARD to take on that attitude since I returned here

I don't do the ATS foe thing either, seems a waste of energy, not to mention propegation of negativity.

But it has always been an embedded trait of mine to remember clearly those that I've had bad crossings with. Maybe its the biker in me, hell I donno, heh. People I have good crossings with, I don't have to do anything about ........ my head won't let them leave - like the one with you just now

[edit on 17/8/08 by Misfit]

Originally posted by Misfit
But it has always been an embedded trait of mine to remember clearly those that I've had bad crossings with. Maybe its the biker in me, hell I donno, heh.

Oh, well if you plan to track me down and I should expect to hear Harley's pulling up in my driveway at some point, I would appreciate a U2U reminding me of the conflict so I can be prepared. : )

When I get really upset I usually just put the person on ignore, but that typically doesn't last long. Some were on ignore and then added me to their friends list. Things change.

[edit on 17-8-2008 by Sonya610]

reply to post by Sonya610


Cute, how fun, you like to fight back, I like that.

I can admit my insecurities unlike you. My insecurity is rejection/acceptance and I become very hostile when I am rejected.

My other insecurity would be paranoia of other's thoughts and jumping to conclusion. A major insecurity is that I have not yet got a child, so of course I am very jealous towards other parents, especially young parents my age or younger therefore I viciously target them those particular individuals.

Yes, I do put others down, including those who are close to me when I am in a very bad mood especially.

It would not matter if the romance was new or I was in a relationship for a very long time. For protection of myself, I make it very clear to any potential friend or partner exactly what my intentions would be if they twisted me the wrong way. I also show them examples which then eradicates the potential of further conflict.

It is their own choice if they want to be with me at that time to make the decision.

I have had a 4 year relationship, therefore I understand the stress and the arguments. It wasn't me who was the one who was making the arguments, it was the woman at the time. House can be cleaned, I have lived in a house before with many ugly sites. Baby crying all night wundt bother me, unlike others who selfishly get upset by their baby every night crying, I wundt.

I don't care about money, unlike others.
Ill put the child in a nursery or get a baby sitter to make time. The jerk of a boss is made very clear not to take me the wrong way during the interview. Unfortunately, the the last one who did was severally punished, not that this is a mature thing to do, its just how I am as a person which of course donest help me grow in the future, however someone like.

Wife is tired and not always saying sweet supportive ego building things - that wundt bother me


Wife complains at times, she even criticizes at times! - she wont and don't criticize me however she can complain all she wants.


Less "me" time, rarely the center of attention, outside stress factors, partner who is busy and tired and doesn't show constant adoration and isn't always agreeable, etc. - Outside stress factors will always get at me because i don't like people, it will be me who is busy and if she is busy i wont be botherd also



If insensitive mean spirited comments can be thrown around now when it's "new love", one can only imagine what the future will hold when things hit a rough patch. - mean spirited comments from strangers would get to me more than someone i love, i would harm a stranger, i wundt harm someone i love.


I was talking to my partner last night about how i use certain people as dummies to target my victims. For example, if someone looked at my dad i would not hesitate to do something without a thought. However, I have threatened to hurt a police officer twice i made it clear and they understood, all i said was " You don't want to end up on the news with your face all over when some nutter has decided to kill you and you just want to go back to your family in the end, don't you?" I know what gets at people the most, family.

I am a very jealous and hostile individual sometimes especially to those who may have a full family because I don't, so this is why i want a child.

However, I do think a lot of the times about doing harm to others, I have brought in a salesman before who just wanted to sell a product, I locked the door and beat him up.

Do you understand how satisfying it can be that you can torture someone, run them down in the ground, give them total hell and scar them for the rest of their life's? well I do. Do you know how that feels to accomplish that? I do feel guilty of course. However, I have always been looking for a special victim, that's why. I would use someone like my partner or my own dad or some other individual, say someone in a wheel chair as a dummy target for others so that I can then target the individual who is targeting my dummy.

Not that my girlfriend is my dummy, but, if anyone was to say anything to a a friend of mine, my dad or my girlfriend or her mum then i wundt hesitate to befriend the individual and torture them. Do you know how good it feels to see someone underesimate you and fight you and think there better than you, do you know how good it is to wind someone wup then evenutally kill or torture them?. Its a very fantasticing feeling to know that an individual is begging for their life's, screaming and crying, knowing that they should never, ever underestmate anyone.

They remember you for the rest of their lifes, you may feel the guilt after however you also feel power you also end up been alone as well.

If your strong enough, been alone wundt be a problem.



She has her right of opinion as do others and she wasn't as been as hostile however for me, I don't take criticism like that very good. Espeaiclly, when it was not about myself, it was a genreal question which i keep pointing out. I also was very offended when she said that my partner could of gone on to a fat site for men who like fat women, that is very unacceptable and should be severally punishable. By the way, I am not threatening you, I am telling you my other side, no i probably wont do a u2u, I like it face to face.
Theres no point me getting fired up over her comment and she probably knew how to hit the right notes which I commend her for.

It is an interesting topic but your not keeping on line with it. My question is, how do other people preceive thoses who are different from there partners who one maybe seen as acceptable in society and the other not.

I would like to ask a question though, think for yourself why i have targeted you more and why i am making it an issue. Think of the fact your a woman and your in your 40's and why i would have a problem with that?
.



[edit on 18-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

Oh, well if you plan to track me down and I should expect to hear Harley's pulling up in my driveway at some point, I would appreciate a U2U reminding me of the conflict so I can be prepared. : )

[edit on 17-8-2008 by Sonya610]

just to note, if someone wanted to do anything they wundt tell you. I would also like to say that, because of your comments which of course made me fired up although your entiled it made me go off on one on ATS!.

So, mods, if i am doing wrong for posting an of topic posting, then take her comments of that do not relate to this subject. Do not be hypocritical.
thank you

[edit on 18-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

I am a fat woman, about as big as your girlfriend is now and in all of the 9 years that I have been fat, I have never ever felt that any of my boyfriends were "doing me a favour" by dating me. I personally think that if your girlfriend does feel that way, then she needs to further work on that.


Also I noticed that you said she is trying to lose weight for a baby and marriage. Why does she have to lose weight in order for you guys to get married?

feedmecat, not all men who happen to be dating a fat girl are chubby chasers. Chubby chasers is a term for men who have a particular fetish for fat girls and will only date fat girls. I personally never have responded to them because all they care about is my weight and never seem to want to get to know me as a person. But there are plenty of guys who aren't chubby chasers that end up with a big girl because they are attracted to all different types of women.

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
I am a fat woman, about as big as your girlfriend is now and in all of the 9 years that I have been fat, I have never ever felt that any of my boyfriends were "doing me a favour" by dating me. I personally think that if your girlfriend does feel that way, then she needs to further work on that.


Also I noticed that you said she is trying to lose weight for a baby and marriage. Why does she have to lose weight in order for you guys to get married?

She wants to loose weight so she can have a baby, she felt pregnant with an ex long before she met me and she had a miscarriage, was told shed be best to loose weight before trying again as if she got pregnant it could be hard for her because of her weight. and she wants to loose weight to get married as she wants to look good on the day and feel good about herself, these are her words not mine.

also, ythanks for clearing up cat for me.

reply to post by deathpoet69


Well I am getting married on September 13th and I will tell you that I think I look darn good in my wedding dress.

She just has to get a good A-line dress. They look very flattering on us big girls.