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What type of man is it that would engage to 'unconventional' woman?

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posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 01:35 PM
Hiya. I would like to ask those who have a open mind and experience in the field of relationships.

I have had many relationships, however this one is got to be the most unique on the looks side of things.

I am not a type of person to judge the opposite sex with looks generally however i did have my limitations.
I have also been use to going with the pretty looking type girls, however, when i first met my then girlfriend now my fiancee she was 378 pounds and i was 98 pounds, she also has a lazy eye. At first we was just friends, however, something came over me and i just started to cry and just knew in my heart this was the girl i was going to be with forever. I had other relationship were i had been in for 4 years however it was abusive and controlling, however this was different, i suddenly accepted her for everything that she was.

I met her, kissed her in front of everyone when i got off the train, I then holded her hands to show i was not bothered.

As time went on she lost her weight to 308 pounds because i gave her the confidence and she wanted to for herself. She has underactive thyroid so she takes tablets for theses. She has brought me and my dad back together after 14 year, she has given me acceptance in her family.
However, because i have deeply fallen in love, i have become some what very protective because other people at times can look and laugh, not all just one or two every month or so.

Should i feel guilty that i am with someone i have chosen for my self, dose it really matter that i have chosen to be with someone of that characteristic, should i really be bothered what others say?.

What type of man dose it take to hold another girls hand and kiss her in public who is not the stereotype. The girl is not thin, clubbing and make up type. She is always told by her dad especially yo lose weight but i told him once to look at her and you'll soon see how beautiful she really is.

She is losing weight now and i have gained weight to 144.2 pounds.

She is like most girls though very stressy and diffcult however she is different in the way that shes mature and grown up for her age at 21 and is not going out clubbing and looking/acting like a tart.

so the question is, what dose this make me as a man, because i hardly see many men taking a leap to accept a woman at any look. I think those men that may take the mick, are men who are weak, because theses men who do say things are genreally in cars or are in public and say somthing after we have walked over, most possibly because they know i would react in some what of an explosive attiude.

[edit on 15-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 02:12 PM
What it makes a wonderful man who loves her.
What others say means nothing.
When others stare, it is because of jealousy of the love they see passing between you both.
The Average woman , does NOT weigh 120 pounds, and go out clubbing and picking up a different guy every time.
Read my says it all.

posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 02:16 PM
Basicly I think you already have your answer. You are still looking for the acceptance, it appears you have done very well in overcoming. Just let it go. If she makes you happy and you are both making progress, that is a damn good relationship. But if her being unconventional is making you question your own worth, then look for something that makes you feel good about yourself.

In life 50% of how you feel about yourself, is in relation to others and how they respond to you. So there should be that other 50% that is all your preferences and desires. They will almost never align perfectly. Basically, if everything inside you wants to be with her AND the little comments here and there dont bother you, then why sweat it. Basically this is only a question u can answer for yourself. Is the flack u take for being with her worth the "return"? Is it worth it?

posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 02:20 PM
i read your signature thats very interesting and is true.
Well, in England, it comes across to myself from what i see that girls from 16 years old up to maybe 26 or 28 seem to want to go out and want to know what its like to be single. Some girls from england go on hoilday and have 3 men a night!. I am not saying all young girls are like that however i am forunate not to have such a girl like that however i have had simluar girls who have been like that.
From a womans point of view that i presume yourself, its good what i have done, however, why do the men have a problem with it and why dont men have the courage to go with the alternative types?

My partner tells me to not to do anything to anyone when someone may say somthing to her because she said she would be alone and no one would be there to look after her which is true.
What i woudl like to know is, if it takes a strong man to take such a girl, then they must be many weak men around however i think women know this anyways. Why cant men just take the courage like i have and go for a girl who is a full plegded woman?

posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 05:46 PM
reply to post by deathpoet69

you must be a man each girl dreams of
a man who takes his girl just the way she is
absolutly thrilling wow

and who cares what other people might think
to me it is usually their problem, just don.t listen, live your life the way you want to live it
and not every girl at 20 something is for clubbing, my best friend is 18 and she doesn.t want to go out clubbing either, me myself want to go out to dance sometimes, but she won.t join me
you see, aswell not an average girl
but your girl is unique the way she is and so you are!

just enjoy it! perfectly!

posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 05:57 PM
Hi i am the girl he is referring to
I agree whole heartedly with what u say, All girls he has met before me were the typical girls u see these days who wanna spend all there wages getting drunk and having sex or whatever, i know not all girls are out for that but you know what i mean, I dont understand why that is the way there going in life, i would rather stay at home and snuggle up on the sofa and watch tv with a glass of wine than go out and that would be the same even if i was single.
I think it just depends on the lifestyle they wanna live and nobody can change the way they want to live.

As long as ur happy with urself then why shud u worrry bout other people there not important, the only people important are the people u love and care about the rest can do what they want.

Whats it to do with us if people wanna spend there money boozing thats there choice!

Anyway thats what i think lol

Sash x

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 02:41 AM
post removed for serious violation of ATS Terms & Conditions

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 07:05 AM
Listen up folks. And listen good, because this is one of those rare occasions where I'm typing something with my deadly serious hat on, and doing it in a public arena.

The Terms and Conditions of ATS clearly state the following.

2) Behavior: You will not behave in an abusive, hateful and/or racist manner, and will not harass, threaten, nor attack anyone.

It also states

2e.) Illegal Activity: Discussion of illegal activities; specifically mind-altering drugs, computer hacking, criminal hate, sexual relations with minors, and stock scams are strictly forbidden. You will also not link to sites that contains discussion of such material.

Now this is the 21st Century. Women have equal rights to males. People may have warped mysoginistic views but they are not appreciated and most certainly will not be tolerated on ATS, and neither will talk of incitement to violence, or acts of violence against women.

I hope thats clear.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 11:01 AM
well i dont know why there was a warning there probably because the invidual above made a comment that i dont really want to know about.

Anyways, what i wanted to know was, when a man is seen with the unconventional type and shows he loves her, what is that precived by other men.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 12:05 PM
you know what! STOP worrying about what others think

Bliiming heck you two! what you have is amazing! If everyone could go in to love like you both have then wow what a lovley world we would have,

When i see a couple that people precive as *not the norm* then i smile and think Good on them,

To behonest any couple i see holding hands, Kissing, being giggley just makes me smile and hopefull that there is such thing as real love out there,

Hold your heads high guys! Walk tall! And show the rest of us what real loves about,

You are always going to get people who stare, There just not ready to see life like you both, they will, Its part of growing up..

I think at some point we can all say we have stared at a couple, for what ever reason, But as we grow up we learn more about life and how impirtant love is,

You are both special and im sure..

Please stop worrying about others, Love each other and worry about what you both need to become stronger

I wish you both all the best,

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 12:05 PM
I tried to tell you what is perceived by other men, but apparently I went a wee bit too far. Sorry.

I'll try to be more civil and understanding this time....

Firstly, if you truly do enjoy being with this person, despite her flaws, why should you care what anybody else may or may not think about you? Clearly, it makes you happy to be in a relationship in which you are the prize and there is no danger of you being cuckolded or abandoned by your chosen mate. Who cares about society's or nature's ideas of worth and beauty anyway? It takes all kinds! This is the 21st century, after all, and there surely must be a place for everyone.

You're doing the world a favor, sir, because someone has to give that poor woman the love she deserves. I'm glad for the two of you.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 12:11 PM
Off Feed a cat you are a funny one

We all have flaws, Im sure you have many unless your brad pitt or something, then i may let you off,

She is a real women, One that im asure is stronger than most of us, She has to put up with comments ect and the looks,

So really that makes her a much valued women in this world today,


posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 12:48 PM
yah she is a strong woman, emotionally she wasent but i have learnt her to be even more stronger. She said when she has lost the weight it will be scary for her cause shes been used to been called names.

and to cat, It wasnt despration for the reason i got with her because i dint like her at first and i told her, its just somthing that came over me that i was not expecting or wanting.

the only flaw i have is my aggression which i have sorted out alot and my height which is 5 foot 7 lol.

I am an ex model and i am young looking, thats whats differen about it, a good looking lad going with someone competly different

[edit on 16-8-2008 by deathpoet69]

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 01:14 PM
One Question: Are you Happy?

If your happy - nothing else matters. Opinions are just words, and its no one elses' business.

Who cares what people think, YOU are the one in the relationship - not them.

- Carrot

[edit on 8/16/2008 by CA_Orot]

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 01:19 PM
i am happy, its just new to me that i get stared at just because i chose a girl i want to be with. It would be the same if she was good looking really cause i would still give people the "look" but shes not botherd so she tells me not to be.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 03:14 PM
I had a 378lb pound girlfriend too.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 03:16 PM
im the dateing guru, so post some pictures of the newly weds so we can see what kind of information we can give you.

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 03:44 PM
[Post removed as requested by poster]

[edit on 19-8-2008 by Gemwolf]

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 04:16 PM
What kind of man? .......... A REAL man dammit !!!

Screw what the world thinks, are you and your girl living for us?
No, you're living for YOU !!
So - shutup and go live !!

posted on Aug, 16 2008 @ 04:17 PM
true i know i just wanted to point out that looks aint everything.

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