posted on Aug, 14 2008 @ 03:07 PM
i don't expect attention from you. but i hope one or another person here can empathize with me and my inner situation.
first of all i'd like to clarify some things, so you can understand my thoughts, fears and points of view.
i am a 22 year old chemistry-student. science is a big part of my life, as well as the scientific way of thinking. i also has a lot of other
interests, like media, but science is my "alter ego".
apart from that i am a very poor person with absolutely no selfconfidence, no position and almost (except of a few very good friends) no social
i came to ats because i am lost.
i am lost in this system, i was born in.
the problem is, to see what role i'm playing in this universe.
i see myself as a grain of sand in a twister. although i am studying chemistry, i cannot array my enviroment, least of all myself.
i have absolutely no influence on most of the things surrounding me. neither the sympathy of a new lab-mate nor the weather.
so i spent a lot of time with thinking. thinking about this system i'm living in. and that is why i chose ats. my keynote is the sense of human
being. what IS human being, at all?
maybe there is this higher form of life somewhere out there. (but i don't care of details. i don't care how it could look like ...) but IF there IS
something, wouldn't life on this earth become less important? wouldn't the curiosity, that is grounded in human's nature, lead to a moment or
result in a state that the other form of life becomes a higher worth?
maybe i am to paranoid (that could be a result of a drug period in my life) but i cannot arrange all these thoughts with my person as a part of this
maybe there are a few people here, that share my fears and thoughts and would like to share their impressions with me.