Soul mates fact or fiction?

But why do people feel the need to find a label like 'soul mates' to describe a close connection with another human being? Maybe it's just a great relationship? Or an intense feeling?

Originally posted by UFOpsychiczebra
But why do people feel the need to find a label like 'soul mates' to describe a close connection with another human being? Maybe it's just a great relationship? Or an intense feeling?

Because these relationships we dub "soul mates" are NOT just great relationships or intense feelings....Or just a close connection...That can happen in almost any relationship.

The "Soul Mate" relationship goes MUCH deeper then that and penatrates the soul (so to speak). Or as if you have literally become one with this person - one soul, one mind. There is a connection that is almost spiritual and unlike any other relationship one has ever had with someone.

It is very hard for me to put into words. *shrug*


[edit on 8/6/2008 by greeneyedleo]

Originally posted by Skyfloating
reply to post by UFOpsychiczebra

 

To add: Just because a relationship ended badly doesnt mean the person was not a soulmate afterall.

Its naive Hollywood-thinking that soulmate must necessarily mean "happy together forever".

I'm not sure why you are addressing that comment at me as I didn't say that was the case at all.

All I did was state that those people said they were soul mates and used that as an excuse for their decisions and behaviour, creating a bias in their actions regardless of whether they were soul mates or not. It was the fact that they THOUGHT they were which was what I was commenting on. I didn't even say whether or not I thought they were their soul mates or not. And the Hollywood comment, well I didn't even mention anything to do with soul mates having to end happily or not!

Originally posted by greeneyedleo

Originally posted by UFOpsychiczebra
But why do people feel the need to find a label like 'soul mates' to describe a close connection with another human being? Maybe it's just a great relationship? Or an intense feeling?

The "Soul Mate" relationship goes MUCH deeper then that and penatrates the soul (so to speak). Or as if you have literally become one with this person - one soul, one mind. There is a connection that is almost spiritual and unlike any other relationship one has ever had with someone.

It is very hard for me to put into words. *shrug*


[edit on 8/6/2008 by greeneyedleo]

I am not commenting on your personal experience. I am ONLY commenting generally. And I have no reason or evidence to suggest that soul mates exist. It is a very personal interpretation. But surely you must allow for the possibility that soul mates do not exist?

Would you feel any differently about your partner if you had never heard of soul mates? So the label is not necessary is it.

Honestly, no, I don't believe in "soul mates." I do believe that there are soul groups which incarnate together, but the whole idea of a specific person being "meant" for another specific person is absurd to me.

reply to post by UFOpsychiczebra


I wasnt directing it at you but added to what you said.

well my last relationship, i remember one night we both had a dream about a past life in 15 century or so, europe; as a couple(reverse genders) who met a tragic end, due to an ancient curse to keep us separated in every life we meet. infact we had a few dreams about eachother(not past lives). 9 years before we met i dreamed of her and she recalled a similar dream in that same year.

anyways, it ended badly with us... but we're friends now atleast.

so i think its real.

[edit on 6-8-2008 by namehere]

reply to post by UFOpsychiczebra


I think sometimes a concept can get hung up by the words used to describe it - I understand what you're saying

my interpretation of "soul mates" has always come from the two halves of a whole idea - the idea that it's the two separate parts needing to integrate and be one

in my mind - it doesn't have as much to do with love and romance - but that's just me

not that I'm against love and romance

but - I think you can have an intensely meaningful relationship - and be very deeply in love - with your partner - but still not be with that "other" that is essentially "your better half"

if you believe in the concept at all

but since polarity seems to be a theme of the universe - yin/yang - etc - I think there is something to this

and the longing to reunite with this other is not something that's just going to go away

but it may not be an absolute rule - and love is love after all - maybe being in love with someone who isn't your soul mate can override that need

I'll have to check the handbook :-)

Originally posted by quaple_pouge
I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone to "complete" them.

I am married, and while I love my husband dearly and can not imagine being without him, I know he is not my soul mate and it kinda makes me sad if I think about it too much.

The older I get, the more in tune I get with myself, the more in tune I get with the Universe, the less I need somebody else. I have always been complete, I only did not know this.

[edit on 6-8-2008 by QueenofWeird]

Originally posted by fishneedh2o
I have to agree with Skyfloating that we have predetermined meetings with friends and foes in our lifetimes. These could be lovers, friends, coworkers, and people online, though we never meet in the real world.

I am in the same boat with the two previous members. I feel I have met the one (soul-mate). For whatever reason we did not stay together. When I was with him time stood still and I had an inner peace that was out of this world. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.

I agree with this.

Accept - I believe there are multiple soulmates - from previous lifetimes or spirit world.

The idea that there is only One person in the whole world you must connect with - is not logical.

Originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
Honestly, no, I don't believe in "soul mates." I do believe that there are soul groups which incarnate together, but the whole idea of a specific person being "meant" for another specific person is absurd to me.

I think this explains it better.

I do think there can be a soul mate through many incarnations. That 2 people can connect so intensely they continue to meet up and connect.

But I believe it is more along the lines of group familiarity.

I subscribe to the multiple soul-mate school of thought. I have met a couple of my soul mates. One of them wasn't a romantic relationship. She was "just" my friend but we walked through fire together and the relationship that was forged is unbreakable. I haven't talked to my friend in years and yet I have perfect faith that if I scream "HELP" loud enough in my head, she would show up.

My other soul mate is my first husband. It's a strange situation because even though we divorced, it didn't end Badly...in fact it didn't end at all.

Now he is my brother, we have grown up together. He is the one who showed me what unconditional love is. We are some pretty flawed people but we understand each other and love and accept each other warts and all.

I thought my second husband was my soul mate too, I thought God must have been playing favorites when we met each other, now we're getting a divorce



okay, so that one does seem to be ending badly...

Originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
Honestly, no, I don't believe in "soul mates." I do believe that there are soul groups which incarnate together, but the whole idea of a specific person being "meant" for another specific person is absurd to me.

You believe in soul groups which reincarnate and meet up with one another in the physical world, but you think a person/soul can't meet a specific (one) person in another physical reincarnation?


If you believe in soul groups, seems weird you think meeting a specific person in another physical reincarnation is absurd. In my opinion, both are true, plain and simple--but that is my opinion, everyone's entitled to one.

I agree that there are many soul mates.

I think that feeling of "predestination" or absolutely compatibility are meant to draw you to a specific person so that some needed lesson or issue can be resolved within yourself.

Thats why I think some soul mates break up and others stay together, the core experience meant to be shared is not the same.

There is a psychologist that says when you get that feeling of a strong click, RUN not walk the other way, as it is a sign of some big deep emotional stuff coming your way, and it is not going to be pleasant. (I forget his name, he does marriage counseling and wrote some book)

I disagree with that. I think if there is some experience or person that has a strong draw for you there is no point in running, it has to be dealt with somehow, and sometime, why not see what it is and try to master it?

My personal experience has been that he is right, that that click is an indication of a lot of soul searching and work on the way. Every strong click has also been a transient relationship for me. There was a lot of similarity and feeling of affinity in the beginning, but generally they have served to show me sides of myself that I was unaware of, that I eventually decided to allow to pass from my life.

My longest, most satisfying and enduring relationships have been with people I really didnt feel strongly one way or the other about initially. Generally speaking, they have been people who are NOT much like me at all, but very different from me, and I have gained enormously from them by learning tolerance, and how to appreciate sides of things that differ from my own. We compliment one another, and together make for a more well rounded relationship.

Great thread, and great responses. I really enjoyed reading everyones experiences and view points.

reply to post by quaple_pouge



Hi Quaple

I sent you a u2u

This is not a one line post

[edit on 6-8-2008 by whoreallyknows]

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander


it's interesting you say that - most of my most rewarding relationships have also been with people I had no special, significant initial feelings about -

and some of the ones I thought seemed to stand out - either nothing - or trouble

though - as you pointed out - trouble could be useful - as a lesson

but I'm not dead yet - so - maybe still supposed to meet that person - or maybe they've been recalled

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by UFOpsychiczebra

 

I think sometimes a concept can get hung up by the words used to describe it - I understand what you're saying

my interpretation of "soul mates" has always come from the two halves of a whole idea - the idea that it's the two separate parts needing to integrate and be one ... but since polarity seems to be a theme of the universe - yin/yang - etc - I think there is something to this

It's interesting that you bring up the yin/yang polarity thing. And I warn everyone this may upset some in this thread, but is not intended to, but many people believe that you cannot have, or find a soul mate if you are a homosexual BECAUSE of the energy polarity that can only come from a female and male energy combining. Now, I'm not saying I believe that. But I have had discussions with people, and it is strongly felt in the New Age area, that if you are gay you cannot be with a soul mate as your soul mate will have to be of the opposite sex.

If you believe in the energy attraction of souls for soul mates maybe you have to believe that too?

If you are gay how do you reconcile that with the soul mate theory of opposite energies being brought together to form a whole?

A note here is that of course the soul itself does not have physical gender but that the two parts of the soul INCARNATE as opposite sexes as an expression of their opposite energies.

""
Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.
One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them:""


I think...

if this is not the true (that dualsouls exists), then I´m blaming my own mind everyday.
Cause then there is nothing more to be. not only to be on earth, to be. only being is the existance from two souls. man and woman. together. in eternity...

you want to hear a story?
fine...
hear this: girl was turned thrue the time to meet a boy and kiss him. only one moment. over time. and then?
she had the change to see him. but no! not the deep real feeling what was and is in the heart happend. no... she begans to run. and run. and run.
ha ha ha
see again? no change I think...

Love in eternity exits...

Nia

I have known that I was looking for someone since I was 4 years old.
Everywhere I went I looked and looked.
I haven't found him. I never had a rewarding relationship. I did have boy friends, and some of them I was really hung up on, but all that passed.
I have gotten to feel that he must have been killed in one of those awful wars, or maybe I was just born on the wrong planet.

reply to post by OhZone


OhZone, you might want to look into Jung's theory about the anima/animus, if you haven't done so already.

It sounds like you have been "prey" to your animus.
It is an irresistible "presence" ("shadow of a presence" would perhaps be a more fitting expression) - and terribly romantic.
But in terms of "real life" (as overrated as this concept is), it can also be bad news.

(Believe me, I am extremely familiar with the kind of feeling you're describing.)









[edit on 6-8-2008 by Vanitas]