Soul mates fact or fiction?

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.
One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them:
Wikipedia

I’m interested in knowing if you believe in Soul Mates?

Have you found your soul mate and if you have can you share your story?

My story begins in July 1993 I met a girl at the convenient store a block away from my apartment, my roommate had met her a week earlier so she knew who I was and where I lived. She followed me home and we began to talk, and within no time I felt I could recite to her, her entire life’s story, and then I did just that. I felt I knew her, I felt like I knew her on the level of spending a lifetime with her. I’m very intuitive by nature, but this seemed like it was on a whole new level. I do believe in reincarnation and I had thoughts that we had been together in past lives, and it wasn’t just me that thought this, she felt the same way or that’s what she said anyway. I just knew that she was my soul mate, and that we were destined to be together always, and I thought this for years. I don’t think this any longer about her, it’s difficult for me to believe that a soul mate can inflict as much damage as she did to me. Anyway I left her three years ago and I’m finished with her, I don’t hate her, I just want her to go away but we have three kids so that isn’t going to happen, but I do get the feeling she isn’t over us yet.

So I find myself searching for the one. I’m surrounded by females but none of them will do. None give me that feeling that I want to spend my life with.

Is the belief in a soul mate a myth or wishful thinking or is there something real to it?

I believe we pre-arrange a few meetings with certain special people before we come here. Sometimes we miss them, but sometimes it just "clicks" and you know you know the person "from somewhere". There´s an ethereal familiarity involved.

Sometimes you recognize certain "signals"or "symbols". It could for example be the necklace someone is wearing that depitcs a symbol you´d been having nightdreams about. Looking at it you have some kind of "aha" or "deja-vu" effect. Its very subtle.

There was once this person I met three times in my life, at three totally different places on earth. The idiot that I am, I didnt recognize her as one of my soulmates...despite the unlikely coincidence. I jsut went "gosh...we meet again! Here of all places!!!!" Today I do recognize what happened, but it seems I missed that one.

Originally posted by Skyfloating

There was once this person I met three times in my life, at three totally different places on earth. The idiot that I am, I didnt recognize her as one of my soulmates...despite the unlikely coincidence. I jsut went "gosh...we meet again! Here of all places!!!!" Today I do recognize what happened, but it seems I missed that one.

This sounds like fate or destiny to me. If it was meant to be it will be. What do you wanna bet that you too will meet again?

4th times the charm maybe?

reply to post by LDragonFire


This is an interesting thread to have started. I'll continue to follow it, as the idea intrigues me....thanks!

Well, i fell in love once and i fell so hard i never got up again. So she could count as my soul-mate. To bad the lesson she was here to teach me is that it doesn't always work out. But the way i was with her i never ever was with anyone before or after. No secrets, a total trust and the feeling of love was just fantastic. And even now when i know it will never work i am gratefull for the feeling it gave me when i was with her.

Originally posted by LDragonFire


This sounds like fate or destiny to me.

If it was meant to be it will be. What do you wanna bet that you too will meet again?

4th times the charm maybe?

I have the feeling that I got my 3 chances and missed out on that person.

But as hinted at, I dont believe we only have one THE soulmate, but a few.

i want to take a moment to share my experience. I am not the type to discuss this type of thing often, so it is not a story that is very well practised. Keep that in mind.

My wife and i have been married for 13 years. We met while at work (we both were aides in a mental hospital, we worked different units). My sister worked on her unit, and she asked my sister to invite me to a party that she was having at her boss's house.

I knew from the moment i saw her that i wanted to be with her. That kind of beauty that you know you are the only one to truly appreciate,and that literally makes your heart skip beats. On a side note, i get that same feeling 13 years later.

When i met her family the first time, they all gasped and seemed shocked. Of course, they are fairly traditional hispanic, and i am white (but have a lot of hispanic family, my family is extremely hispanic and mostly lives in El Paso). I thought that they were shocked because she was dating a white guy that was not catholic.

I should not have been so quick to judge their intentions, as a couple of years later, while visiting with the in law, they all "spilled the beans".

When my wife was 13 she had a dream in which she claimed to have met her future husband. The description she gave was that he was tall, heavy/muscular build, long blonde hair and a beard. I am of Hungarian/Nordic descent, my hair reaches my lower back, i am 6'3" tall and weigh about 400 lbs (was a champion weightlifter in high school, so was much more muscular then my current fat self).

When she awoke the next morning, she told her whole family about it. Being traditional Mexicans, they put some consideration into her story but were suspicious of it. For the next several years she talked about this man she dreamed of. WHen she got pregnant by her boyfriend right before she graduated, her parents asked her about her "guero" that she was supposed to marry. She said she hadn't met him yet and was waiting. They all slowly started to believe that she was mostly just full of it.

Once this story was out, she admitted that the moment she saw me she knew that i was literally the man of her dreams.

The funny part is, I have had dreams about her my whole life, too. A short hispanic girl with lots of curves, dark and slanted eyes, and shiny ebony hair. My God, it drove me nuts loving this woman in my dreams and i can truly relate to Vermillion by Slipknot because of this.

We may or may not be "soul mates". I don't know if i believe in that sort of thing. But i can say that, given mine and my wifes experiences, I do believe that we are destined sometimes, and we can be lucky enough to glimpse this destiny.

I have to agree with Skyfloating that we have predetermined meetings with friends and foes in our lifetimes. These could be lovers, friends, coworkers, and people online, though we never meet in the real world.

I am in the same boat with the two previous members. I feel I have met the one (soul-mate). For whatever reason we did not stay together. When I was with him time stood still and I had an inner peace that was out of this world. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.

I don't believe in the story behind soulmates, that the OP posted, about zeus. But I do believe in the idea and feelings that are related with soulmates. So here's my story. I had dated my fair share of guys but when it came to this one guy, from day one, we had each other. There was just that something special, that we had for each other. We compliminted each other in every way. I just don't know how to say it but we were meant for each other and we were each other's soulmates. When we were together we was kinda just one soul, each other's soul. We ended up having a son together and breaking up shortly after. Because our lives just went in different directions. I had a commitment to our son and for him, his career was taking off, he didn't have time for the family "thing" anymore, so we went our seperate ways. Since then, I have never met or dated anyone like him. I am now married and have a wonderful husband, but it's a different kind of love. A love that will last forever.

I hope that one day everyone will meet their soulmate. But remember that when it comes to finding somebody, if you are out and looking, your not gonna find anyone. Just live your life and when the time is right you will end up meeting them.

I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone to "complete" them.

I am married, and while I love my husband dearly and can not imagine being without him, I know he is not my soul mate and it kinda makes me sad if I think about it too much.

reply to post by quaple_pouge


Don't feel sad or like you made a mistake. For most of the members that have posted on this thread. They have met their soulmates, they have been with them and loved them, but for some reason it didn't last and they have moved on.

reply to post by hawaiigurl



Most of the time I don't, but I am not kidding myself, I KNOW that I settled. It sounds horrible, but it is true. I had been in a string of bad relationships that left me hurt time and time again, and then I met my husband, and he loved me and wanted to marry me, so I did. I DO love him, but he is the farthest thing from my soul mate as possible.

Interesting topic. One of the problems with discussing soul mates is that you only ever get to hear the success stories as people tend not to share the ones that ended badly.

I know of two couples where it didn’t work out for them and they TRULY believed they were soul mates. One were middle aged and they had been married before, they met, got into New Age religions and THEN decided they were soul mates. That put pressure on them IMHO, but anyway they stuck at it despite the obvious problems in their marriage. They bought a VERY expensive house (which they couldn’t really afford) on the basis of some channelled advice and kept on going. In the end he got ill, she got stressed and they split up. I think it made it worse for them as they believed they were losing their soul mate and they would never be 'whole' again. Also she particularly felt she was a failure for not having made the relationship work as they were soul mates.

The second couple were having an extra marital affair. He was married with a child and she was single. She told him she was his soul mate and a series of coincidences convinced him she was right. He kept on with the affair for years, he was a wreck by the end of it. His wife left him, got custody of the child and then the soul mate lost interest. Then as soon as he started seeing someone else she wanted him again. Telling him loads of rubbish, he fell for it again. That happened with two more girlfriends. She would walk into public places and slap him in the face for no reason and then say he would have to forgive hr because they were soul mates. She even threw a drink at his girlfriend in a restaurant and he went after her leaving his girlfriend in the restaurant!

Maybe soul mates do exist for people but what about those people who are so influenced by it, or the concept of it, they the behave in ways they would not otherwise do? Using the soul mate connection as an excuse for all sorts of odd and unjustifiable behaviour.

Originally posted by UFOpsychiczebra
Interesting topic. One of the problems with discussing soul mates is that you only ever get to hear the success stories as people tend not to share the ones that ended badly.

Erh, look again bub . I posted mine and it ended badly.

Originally posted by quaple_pouge
reply to post by hawaiigurl

 

Most of the time I don't, but I am not kidding myself, I KNOW that I settled. It sounds horrible, but it is true. I had been in a string of bad relationships that left me hurt time and time again, and then I met my husband, and he loved me and wanted to marry me, so I did. I DO love him, but he is the farthest thing from my soul mate as possible.

He doesn't know your screenname on ATS does he? Does he know you think you settled?

I definitely believe in soulmates and I believe that you have more than one. I think different people are your soul mate at different times in your life. If you're lucky, the person you marry will keep being your soul mate until you grow old together.

I would think a soul mate is someone in whom you share your whole life or a good majority of it at least, whether platonic or more. My best friend in that regard is definately my soul mate. She and I are as opposite as night from day yet we just accept each other and have been there for one another through EVERYTHING.

Those that come into your life at "the right times" I would think had more to do with the power of attraction. For instance, you have a need, someone else has a need and you attract each other based on those needs, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. I think of this kind of like magnets attracting.

Of course, there are the ppl that you meet and you just "feel" that you have known them and they have known you on a very deep level that transcends all else. Maybe this too is a soul mate, although it seems different and much more deep than what I would think a soul mate to be.

Anyway, more of my 2 cents worth

reply to post by sc2099


He only looks at this site if I'm on, which isn't too often while he is home.

I make it sound as though I am miserable with him! lol I am not, I do love him, but we are very different. I have no intention of leaving my husband.

I have a soul mate!
He is EVERYTHING I asked God for and MORE!
I am what he needed, too!
We compliment each other so well!

I asked God in 1994 for him or I asked God to make me happy single.
I met him about 2 weeks later at a waffle house.
But, we actually spoke to each other next time at a prayer meeting.
This year will be 14 years of marriage.
We still have so much Love for each other and Fabulous children!

The whole zeus aspect is wrong. Thank you Jesus for my 'soulmate'!

Here's a picture of us after 5 years of marriage;




[edit on 5-8-2008 by Clearskies]

reply to post by quaple_pouge


Haha, no I didn't get the impression you weren't happy in your marriage. It's just uncommon for someone to be honest that they think they settled. Honest with themselves, that is. I think it's brave of you to admit your feelings. Truth be known, I think at least 3/4 of people settled when they married their spouses - a fixer upper that never could or never would be fixed, or the chemistry wasn't there. That doesn't mean it can't be a good relationship though.

It's going to be pretty unlikely that a partner has 100% of the qualities desired. So if a person has 90% or 80% or even 50% of those qualities, is it still settling? Food for thought...

reply to post by LDragonFire


I know for a fact that there are people in this world who seem almost tailor-made for one (i.e. me ).
It doesn't mean they are "just like me", it only means that we ed) almost perfectly on all occasions.

I have had the good fortune of meeting one or two such people in my life. One was of the opposite sex, and both were my friends.
(I am not going to say "ONLY friends", because friendship, while generally less exhilarating than erotic love, is actually a superior feeling/situation, in my opinion.)

Having said that, I don't think there is such a "soul mate" for everyone in this world, for the simple reason that I don't think it is in any way "pre-arranged" or a consequence of some natural "law". Some people are lucky enough to meet them - others (very many) aren't.





[edit on 5-8-2008 by Vanitas]