"The Porn Myth"

A lot of woman who claim “porn” ruins the idea of passionate relationships with a significant other have most likely been reared on the soap operas, the books, the magazines, the movies, and the romance novels (I could list more things). They mostly have a profile of ruined relationships that come from watching their mother suffer through horrible lapses where the “Father” constantly went against all that was desired in the “reared” idea of a healthy relationship.

That is one of the reasons some of the women are failing at keeping a mate for the long run. It doesn’t help to be constantly bombarded with ads in television trying to sell you things to enhance your bust, curve your waistline, and try to be like the women on TV who happen to be what is considered “beautiful”

We all are given a freedom to choose what we want to see in others. What we often dislike in other people we dislike or want within ourselves. A woman has to suffer through emotional turmoil far sooner then a man would. This is the concept of having to deal with 9 months of pregnancy surrounded by your body constantly changing in a world that lacks cultural respect for a beautiful body going through a 9 month change (due to bringing about life).

If a woman respects her body then she would not care what a man thinks of her. If a man respected a woman then he would not care what others thought of her. This is the prime example of a “healthy” relationship. What we have today is a reared version of a tainted idea of a relationship.

Do we all really believe we will become famous, rich and wealthy? I admit that some do believe this and it does happen to them. But there is a high chance you will not become beautiful, you will not find the one you want, and your life will be filled with empty ideas of lust, love, and romance. Instead of trying to become something your not and blaming objects in your reality for failure to unite in a relationship; I say, shut the TV off, think greater of yourself, and demand the men to either “listen” or “Leave”

To let men control you is; going against nature. Men are supposed to be there through the 9 months of pregnancy. Regardless of what television tells you it is a large lie to believe “porn” is the reason most relationships break up in the first place. If porn has that much power of you then you are giving into the act of sex rather then the act of love (which regardless of lust…love wins). If a man wants a woman who is into porn and claims that this is how he wants it…then this man is a fool! I’m sure most men can’t do pornography and even if they did nobody would care. This holds true for the large majority of women in the world who don’t see the truth but what lies that exist in the world.

Originally posted by Merigold

I think that most men just enjoy looking at naked women.... It is kind of a natural instinct ya know?

My only issues with porn is that I very rarely see real women in them. Real women have hair, dimples, and lots of imperfections. When I see a porn star I can't help but wonder " Does my man want me to look like that?"

(:

You dont live in L.A I take it '-)

[edit on 5-8-2008 by StefanO]

As does the fantasy that foreign women are more willing to be submissive little slaves than American women are. See how that plays out in practice. I know a few guys who have tried that only to find that their angelic little fantasy woman turned into a normal woman with wants and needs after she escaped extreme economic conditions. Surprisingly, it is the economic necessity that forces someone to feel that have to please someone in order to survive. American women are not "pricing themselves out of the market" as someone theorized, they are less desperate economically, and less willing to accept substandard conditions and treatment.

I really enjoyed your post but had to take issue a tad with this bit.

This is one view.

Another is that 'foreign' women are more in touch with their femininity than 'westernised feminists' who are often more like men in skirts than actual women

The essence of woman is yin, which is yielding, soft, quiet, receding and nurturing. Western culture now requires the modern woman to be aggressive, 'successful', driven and competitive. these are yang qualities, more suited to the man.

Unfortunately, the feminist evolution has resulted in the emasculation of the male, and he is now taking on the yin qualities, perhaps as a balance. Now we are all confused and becoming androgenous - just like the fashion models we see daily on the bill boards.

Perhaps this is evolution, but I suspect we do need a return of the goddess.

After all, god is feminine, I am sure of it.

alright let me make this clear, someone tell me why this person is famous? shes a pornstar called sacha grey and apparently shes a big hit or something. she looks hideous, no one wants to look like that i can think of many women who are better looking than here 100x more.

plus has anyone seen porn in HD, id imagine a very different picture of what pornstars usually look like.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

Originally posted by AshleyD
My natural size was also a C so I didn't undergo any drastic sort of change.

..you have to have some major thick skin to fight off all the ignorant statements you will inevitably receive from people who later find out your have them or don't know you have them and will shoot their mouth off right in front of you because they don't know you have them.

Yeah, in my case I am tall and thin (like runway model thin..and i am in my forties so that ain't changing soon). I was completely flat chested. Went from AA to a full B. It looks normal, not at all big for my frame and that is partly why no one suspects anything. They do feel different because there is virtually no fat, but I don't mind that at all. Nice thing about fake is they can be discreet, but make for great cleavage with a push up bra or bustier. The uplift is usually the giveaway, real fat does not push up nearly so well.

Phoenix...haha...yeah since you are British I figured the uncut comment would be appropriate payback for the previous comments. Guess it does not apply in your case. : )


[edit on 5-8-2008 by Sonya610]

reply to post by Sonya610


can i ask something, when someone who has breast implants dies, do they take them out so they can recycle them, you know for the environment. lol


[edit on 5-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

I will start by saying this - Porn is great. It is here now, it was here 500 years ago and it will still be here 500 years from now, god willing.


I agree with the previous poster stating that womens current attitudes in western culture drive porn to be as huge of an industry as it is. With all of that nagging and complaining and ego smashing, not to mention the womens lib, the gold digging and the over all "whats in it for me menatillity" makes a lot of men take the easy way out.

Same with gay men. Honestly, and I am probably wrong here, but the reason that I believe there are so many more gay men walking around out here today isnt because they are so hugely attracted to other men...I believe it is because they just cant stand dealing with women. Seriously.


Let me cover my ass here by saying that I love women, I adore them. To me there is nothing more beautiful than a well put together, NATURAL, curvaceous woman...circa 1950-60's Hollywood style. Back when women had curves and were feminine and had no issue with being a woman and letting a man be a man. Im not saying they dont exist these days, but they are few and far between.

When and where did women get the impression that they have to be rail thin or look like a porn skank to be attractive? Here is a fact based on me being a male and having known a lot of guys in my day - most men do not prefer emaciated runway model types. It is true.


Also...I agree with the previous poster about fake implants. I understand that women get them to look better in clothes...self esteem etc etc. But fact be known, they are not attractive and they feel wierd. I would never in 1,000 years date a women with fake boobs, just not my thing at all. But I will point out that I am always kind and extremely respectful of women, it is how I was raised to be. What I am saying here is just my own private personal opinion.

So to summarize, porn isnt really a bad thing, in fact I would argue it is a good thing. The men who look at and use porn are usually at home, by themselves and not harming anyone whatsoever. Would you rather have a bunch of horny, sexually frustrated men filling the streets and night clubs hitting on anything that moves? And these arent all bad men, most are probably shy types who get shot down by hateful women in those same bars and clubs and would rather deal with it themselves than be humiliated in public.

Also, with porn it is an easy fix to a constant dilemma. Instead of meeting a woman, getting to know her, spending a fortune on her, hustling and tap dancing and everything else that you have to do to get laid these days...it is sometimes easier to just cut on a computer, rub one out and go on about your day. No harm no foul.

And the Ted Bundy comparison was stupid, anyone can over do anything....alcohol, drygs, porn, eating, shopping. When done in moderation these things are all fine but when taken too far anything can be a problem.

Originally posted by DuneKnight
can i ask something, when someone who has breast implants dies, do they take them out so they can recycle them, you know for the environment. lol

Implants are silicon and/or saline. Cheap materials that are not worth recycling. In a coffin they will last for ages, in a crematorium they pool into a sticky goo (but some areas ban cremation with implants because of PVC emmissions and also apparently all the goo can damage the ovens and crematorium floors over time). Though I don't understand the worry about the floors, very very obese people can cause burning fat to drip out of the oven and that is surely MUCH worse on the floors.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by Sonya610]

reply to post by Sonya610


wow well u sure know ur stuff, literally. i meant it as a joke though, isnt silicon the same material used for computer hardware. can u plug special cables into those implants to get better connection? that would be handy!

[edit on 5-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

As a hot blooded young male (22) it actually shocks me beyond belief just how many woman feel inadequate in terms of appearance never mind without clothes!

I think women need to be who they are and stop trying to make themselves look younger and enhancing their bodies to what they think men like.

Keeping to the subject if you look in to the prehistoric male and female. The purpose of a male was to hunt food and mate ie any woman he fought for was his to (clears throat) regardless of choice of the female. The female was fed by the male, provided care and nourishment to children and in turn created the next generation of humans.

I dont think that the male or female mind has really changed other than that we have laws that govern society and govern what is socially acceptable but it also prevents a lot of our natural instincts as well causing internal conflict with ourselves.

I think porn gives a male an outlet for the prehistoric aggression but this does leave partners feeling left out of course as it is not a natural thing for a woman to understand but they should not worry about their appearance whatsoever as a male is still attracted to her but he needs to feel he is spreading his seed sort of speak. Obviously you will have certain guys that get caught up but that is having your cake and eating it as it can be put. Any half witted male knows that they cannot have their cake and eat it in this society. This does creates the argument that all that we think is normal is not so normal though.

In short I dont think that woman should worry about there appearances or anything else for that matter because everyone is unique and beautiful. The fact is we are mammals at the end of the day and we seem to spend too much time analyzing ourselves and each other too much to see the simplicity of it all. (not a jerry springer quote lol)

If you have a partner who watches porn dont any females here agree that it is far better than having a partner who sleeps with every attractive woman he sees? At the end of the day, male of female, we all see good looking people every single day who are attracted to us but we choose to be faithful or not. So why is porn such a bad thing?

Goes back to the whole look but dont touch argument. Hope im not getting myself in for a burn the witch argument here lol.

Peace ladies

[edit on 5-8-2008 by XXXN3O]

Originally posted by BlackOps719
Also, with porn it is an easy fix to a constant dilemma. Instead of meeting a woman, getting to know her, spending a fortune on her, hustling and tap dancing and everything else that you have to do to get laid these days...it is sometimes easier to just cut on a computer, rub one out and go on about your day. No harm no foul.

dude i dont know about u but nowadays men got it really easy in that department, in the 50s the years u are so fond off, u would have never been able to get into any lady's pants. now though things are much easier thanks to feminism. if all u want is sex u dont have to do anything, just ask for it nicely.

Originally posted by XXXN3O
If you have a partner who watches porn dont any females here agree that it is far better than having a partner who sleeps with every attractive woman he sees? At the end of the day, male of female, we all see good looking people every single day who are attracted to us but we choose to be faithful or not. So why is porn such a bad thing?

sorry i disagree with that one, u saying porn is better than being unfaithful. i think porn and being unfaithful, are the same thing.

reply to post by DuneKnight


But that is exactly the same as saying that a sexual dream is the same as cheating,

if you were a doctor and a women came in with breast cancer, would you just give her a pain killer and treat the symptom or would you treat the problem the cancer itself?

Porn is very similar to drugs people dont wake up one morning all happy and content with life and think hmm i think im going to do something new today how about i try a hit of smack just for the fun of it, and the same can be applied to Porn there is an underliying problem.

and women i know ill probably be hung for saying this but alot of it is your own fault you have unrealistic expectations, men are not mind readers, we arnt all Don Juan, we dont care what Cleo thinks you should think, we find those stupid little tests in those magazine so far beyond reality that the fact women take them seriously puts you in a complete different galaxy.

we dont care what janies husband just bought her, and no it doesnt mean you should have one to, yes we always think you like nice in that dress if we didnt we would tell you, dont ask us if we think you look fat its a question no matter what answer we give we cant win.

nagging will never improve a relationship, yelling will only make us not want to listen.

ill leave it at that for now.

reply to post by XXXN3O


nope sexual dreams are different than watching porn, one of these two is done voluntarily and signals the idea that ur partner cant satisfy you. plus its disrespectful

reply to post by DuneKnight




Nah thats not what Im saying......there are things far more important than sex in a relationship. I was just saying that back then women werent so guarded and hostile, was a different mind set when women seemed to be happy just being women.

A lot of women these days seem to live to simply make men miserable and control their lives. Not all, but many do.


Just my own opinion here and nothing more.

Originally posted by Sonya610
See now that does not help anything. Many women get "fake boobs" because WE like the way it looks! WE like the way clothes fit on us. Some of us don't want to go through life looking like 12 year old boys, we want to look like women.

I think you should take a bit of your own medicine before jumping on _Phoenix_ so quickly. You're not helping either. :shk:

Personally, I have an ex-gf who, my friends and I agreed, was absolutely gorgeous (think Keira Knightly'esque). Even with my attempts at boosting her esteem; she always felt self-conscious about "12 year old boy" comments, and was absolutely addicted to her "inserts" & water-bras. The ironic part is that the comments rarely ever came from men (unless she turned down their advances ), but from other women (most likely out of jealousy ).

I think porn is being used as a bit of a scapegoat here so that women (some, not all) can avoid addressing their own cruel and competative natures when it comes to dealing with one another.

The fact of the matter is that guys enjoy seeing the nude female form in all shapes and sizes. You generally don't see obese women in "glamour mags", or hollywood blockbusters, yet the porn industry has categories devoted to just that. Why? Because there's a market out there, and there are men who will buy it. Likewise, there are categories for all body-types. Not all porn models/actresses are 38/22/36, and not all men are looking for that.

Women need to learn to be happy with themselves, and less cruel to one another. Honestly, it really doesn't matter what a woman looks like; there will always be a guy out there who thinks she looks absolutely perfect.

[edit on 8/5/08 by redmage]

Originally posted by XXXN3O
I think women need to be who they are and stop trying to make themselves look younger and enhancing their bodies to what they think men like.

Why on earth would you assume its all about pleasing men? Is it hard to imagine that maybe the WOMEN like the way they look? I honestly have never cared much about pleasing men, and decent looking woman can always get plenty of sex so it surely was not for that purpose.

Would you look at a male bodybuilder and think “dude, quite getting so muscle bound to please women”. Would you ever in a million years presume that he changes his form to please women alone and not just because he LIKES the way it looks? Not because it is beautiful in his opinion?

I think it is pretty messed up that so many people (men and women) think they are in a position to start judging the bodies of women for whatever reason (even for "their own good"). Saying "you shouldn't change what you want because I am telling you it doesn't matter" is just as bad as saying "change this because it would look better".

Originally posted by XXXN3O
If you have a partner who watches porn dont any females here agree that it is far better than having a partner who sleeps with every attractive woman he sees?

Yeah sort of like…if your husband slaps you don’t complain because at least he doesn’t beat you into a coma! It could be worse! That is flawed logic. Things could always be worse. I don’t think porn is a big deal but your argument still doesn’t fly.



[edit on 5-8-2008 by Sonya610]

reply to post by DuneKnight


It is not saying that whatsoever. It is a biological thing that some males choose to ignore some do not and some take it too far some do not. Females on the other hand have a different mindset and do not have to worry about mating etc, females are the ones that simply wait. With modern days this has changed and this is why we have females mutilating themselves physically trying to attract mates and then when they do they cant understand simple things such as porn for example.

Its interesting how you ignored the whole lot of my original comment apart from the part at the bottom does that mean you agree? or does it mean that you arent sure what im talking about or completely disagree with everything ive said?

reply to post by Sonya610


Your logics flawed you would be as well saying, it doesnt matter but it does matter but it doesnt, I mean what the heck you on about. Your comparing porn to beating women now as well. Im not wasting my time with this. Im trying to say women shouldnt pump themselves full of plastic that makes them feel fantastic but should rather be content with themselves for crying out loud. You are the way you are and it doesnt matter what you look like you are attractive.

I thought people might be mature enough to understand what I am saying slightly and never meant to offend so please yourselves.

Im off. Its not my problem if you cant see beyond your conditioning.

Jesus christ.



[edit on 5-8-2008 by XXXN3O]