"The Porn Myth"

reply to post by _Phoenix_

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Ya it wasn't too hard to figure it out. She and I were like the implant apologists in this thread.

reply to post by DuneKnight

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Because I wanted them. That about sums it up.

reply to post by AshleyD

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but werent u scared, i know i would. i heard horror stories, and they all make the whole procedure undesirable. and i bet it first felt cool but then the excitement waned down bringing you back to normal mood.

reply to post by sc2099

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Well it was a good point you made! LOL! The thread is talking about how men are programmed to have exceedingly high expectations of women's sexual abilities due to porn and a member basically came along and confirmed it by saying 'real women' should act more like porn star lovers and that is the source of many of our problems because we are not.

reply to post by AshleyD

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can someone please point out what sexual abilities women need to acquire. u people make it seem as though women werent built for sex. maybe we should get xzhibt and let him pimp everyone's ride. making a man happy is so easy, its women that cant be satisfied.

reply to post by DuneKnight

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Well it was a funny story. I got them done abroad. While I was in bed recovering, the movie Breast Men was on so I watched it. There was one part in the movie where a woman received a botched boob job. So, yes, to be honest that terrified me. Not that I didn't know about the possible side effects before- it was just really bad timing for me to be watching that movie and those graphic scenes. Fortunately, I never experienced any problems. Was I scared? To be honest, about as scared as anyone would be to receive any sort of procedure. To me it just wasn't that big of a deal though. I researched the doctor thoroughly and was able to speak with his previous patients before going through with it. My natural size was also a C so I didn't undergo any drastic sort of change. After returning to the States, the only one who even noticed anything different was my own mother so I considered it a success.

No self esteem issues, not done to please a man as my boyfriend at the time didn't want me to get them, I didn't feel ugly before or less feminine... I just wanted them.

So many people accuse women with implants of having low self esteem but I am here to say you have to have some major thick skin to fight off all the ignorant statements you will inevitably receive from people who later find out your have them or don't know you have them and will shoot their mouth off right in front of you because they don't know you have them.

reply to post by AshleyD

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Yeah that rant about Jessica alba photoshopped pic is spot on.

I've actually seen before and after pics, and usually I find them more attractive in the before!
Sometimes in the photoshoped pictures, they take away hips! I like hips! there is no detail on their face and skin, their nose almost disappears, their eyes look odd? Basically they don't look right.

Oh yeah talking about fantasies, I LOVE the women in your avatar.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

That's exactly what the previous poster was saying.

If women are generally not being satisfied in bed (as is the general stereotype) then that is more of a reflection on the skills of the man instead of the woman. However, a previous poster was trying to say it is the women that need to work harder to reach the bar. But um... it's the women that generally are not being satisfied by their mates so that sounds like their partner's fault more than theirs.

But, yes, I will give men a fair assessment and will say it is more work to please a woman that it is to please a man. I'm not trying to be a tyrant but the post saying women need to be more like porn stars really rubbed me the wrong way as I know a lot more dissatisfied women than men.

I will never forget a qoute I heard. 'When I watch porn for the first fifteen minutes I want to nail anything in sight. More than that I never want to have sex again'.
I wish I could remember who said that.

I think the main issue I have with porn, isn't porn, it's the mass medias appropriation of it and how it's becoming mainstream... the MAJOR concern being the over-sexualization of children, which is going to bite society on the ass (hard). The internet isn't to blame for this, a lack of parenting.

I don't think that body issues just apply to women, perhaps more prevalent in women due to societal issues (probably). Us guys can have problems with self image too, it's a tough one to gauge, especially as men are less likely to seek help for things like self-harm, eating disorders, but they do crop up in the male of the species too. Interestingly, anorexia turns up in "non-western(ised)" cultures too, in societies that have no exposure to media.

As for women expecting men to jump through hoops, nah, totally disagree, some maybe, but greater economic choice and also perhaps less pressure to be in a relationship may well contribute - also, don't forget that most of us are working so damn hard to pay our rent, worrying about bills etc, it might actually be harder to forge relationships these days.

Women not having orgasms... quite probably, porn should be used as an enhancement, but I'm guessing most males are using it as a fantasy driven thing and generally we should grow up and stop being selfish pigs. I'm not going to pretend I haven't had one night stands, but the most satisfying sex I've ever had has been with a partner I love, care for and respect, someone who I want to be happy.

How come no one has mentioned the massive uplift in the selling of sex aids over the past 10 years or so? Us guys have to be screwing up somewhere.

AshleyD, kudos for coming out of the bod/mod closet.

MsFab you sound like a good mom.

edit to add:

Women need to be less like pornstars, as do guys... we just need to talk openly with our partners about what we want WITHOUT being pushy dicks (guys).

If we get Xzibit in I want my new girlfriend to have some kinda crazy UV shizzle.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by jokei]

Oh yeah and about my first post.
Maybe it should be more like "bad boob jobs are a turn off" Because like I said a good boob job isn't bad at all. e.g Veronica Zemanova and of course Ashley and Sonya
It's just when a girl has perfect breasts and she gets a REALLY bad boob job, I just feel for her.

I guess Ashley and Sonya were lucky, have you got any advice to girls out there who want implants? My advice is please research the doctor first!!!



[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

reply to post by AshleyD

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the only way a man can make a women happy is if hes able to sync himself to all these changing moods. but seriously, when u had breast implants werent u uncomfortable with the fact that ur looks changed if they did, i mean if i changed how my face looked i would be freaked out coz i wont be able to recognize myself.

Well boobs sure are different from a face. Enlarging breasts is more like penis enlargement or something, if it works out all good then it's great, if it ends up disfigured then oh no!


[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

reply to post by _Phoenix_

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no no penises cant be seen at least in public but breasts/faces can be, these are means of presentation.

Even my 87 year old grandmother has wanted to get her boobs done, just a little, for her own aesthetic reasons. She never had to deal with the porn issue with my grandfather, who was the most wonderful Norwegian socialist you would ever meet. Humble, intelligent, 154 IQ,socially and politically aware, who would give the shirt off his back to anyone in need and short himself, a wonderful sense of humor and known by so many for his integrity,and a good provider. In fact he was a feminist himself before its time, and believed in equality. He put their house on the lake in both their names, before it was the norm, and when he broke his leg logging, it was his company, he stayed home to watch the kids, and she got a job in the packing company. Well that was the end of his asking her what she did all day. He raced back to work on a broken leg and told his friends that no matter how hard it is, they do one thing at a time. Multitasking all day long and dealing with kids was the hardest work he'd ever done. Never once, though they both got quite cranky at times, did he call her the B word or disrespect her in anyway, though she had quite alot to say about men in general, and had lots to say frequently, lol. He said she was a good kid frequently.
But she simply has a mind of her own and wanted to be a bit more balanced in her curves, especially after her children were born. While some women may do things to look like a porn star, others do things, or wish to do them anyway, for themselves whether they ever intend to date again or not. Pornography is not the reason most women past childbearing years get their breasts done.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by mystiq]

Hmm yes your right, but still not the same as a face, maybe more like getting a tattoo.

But you know, in the future this kind of thing won't stop, once nanotechnology comes out, we will be combining ourselves with machines. Basically, I think one day we will be like half machine half human because of all the benefits it will have.

Nanotechnology working inside your body, changing your body to how we see fit, protecting our body from diseases cancer, etc. Stopping us age, forever young. Instant healing, improved skin etc etc, all this is highly possible with the theories of nanotechnology.



[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

I had to write the flippin longest essay on this last year in women's studies (teehee I know). I'm an anthro major and this subject has come up a lot in many of my classes, not just women's studies.. sociology, cultural anthro, etc. In my essay I argued against this position, going on to say that women use porn in this context to blame for their natural self consciousness or lack of self confidence; however not in a negative way, it's normal and porn is a great scape goat that's completely acceptable to point to and vilify in our society.

If I had to name the true cause of women's feelings of inadequacy, I'd be looking at tabloids, tv and movie portrayals of women. Men are just jack asses, you don't need a cause in society for that. I'm sure there are some men way too wrapped up and porn, theres a psychological condition I can't remember the name of that relates to that, it's hardly the norm.

There's a trend in todays culture recently, that women take a more and more sexually aggressive role; this is where my essay started to break down. You can't get that from magazines and Paris Hilton, it could be reactionary to porn's influence on men; a way of "giving them what they appear to want". We took a show of hands here and the vast majority have noticed the same since roughly the time the internet took hold. I know I have lol

[edit on 5-8-2008 by ANoNyMiKE]

reply to post by jpm1602

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Lol, I dont know who said that, but it reminds me of this, by Marcus Aurelius.

reply to post by _Phoenix_

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yeah all these nanotech things are possible in the future and carries with it alot of benefits but look at us humans now, we are already severely misguided, so imagine adding all this ultra-futuristic stuff into our lives; dont u think that we might end ourselves because we keep wanting more and more like greedy animals. we would turn ourselves into something non-human.



[edit on 5-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

im like you i also took a anthropology course and had to deal with all that stuff. but im not sure if i understand what u meant by the last paragraph.

Yes your right, there are many negatives along with the great positives of such technology, for example it can be used as a weapon like some sort of nano created virus.

But with almost every invention I can think of, there are positives and negatives. If you could call the creation of fire an invention? You can see the positives and negatives from just that. Or would a knife be a better example.