"The Porn Myth"

Originally posted by Rek2008 Fake Boobs ARE a turn-off. It's true. Most of them don't even resemble real breasts. They mostly look like a perfectly round bowl has been inserted under the skin. I'd much rather see the real thing, small or not.

Most? You mean the ones you have seen? In pornographic pictures? On the internet? Mr. Expert how many times have you come across them in real life dating situations? Or perhaps you haven't actually dated enough to have encountered the situation?

LOL. In the real world (as in real women, real sex, real life experience) if they are proportional 99% of men would NEVER notice right off that the woman had anything done.

Using the most extreme examples would be like saying "all nose jobs are hidious! look at michael jackson!" when in reality the average nose job does NOT look hidious and strangers would never know the person had it done.

ten of thousands of years back in our history, it was imperative that the male was able to spot a female judged to be the best at child-baring, by visually, and quickly, analyzing her form , not by trying to understand her feelings. it was equally important to quickly mount her and ejaculate, all the while watching for animal predators and other male suitors. for thousands of years this is the way humans survived. women on the other hand, upon becoming pregnant had to bond with other women to handle the intense and time consuming job of birth and care of the baby child. it has been relatively recent in our long history that both male and female have had to adjust to a more civilized type of enviorment. men have been ingrained with the need to keep silent, either when approaching a food source, or a women to mate. women have been ingrained to interact in a more intimate and communicative way with others because of the frajility of the child in their care. so...in a rather cliched conclusion...can we just give each other a break and keep the personalized drama in check.

Hmm, my 2 cents (or pence, as I'm English)... and I feel I shoulld come clean and state where I'm coming from.

I'm a working-class, 31 year old, white male, pretty good physical shape but getting a beer-gut and I have one white hair, currently single and I do enjoy porn, also, this may have a bearing on my attitude (or not), I was raised by women and consider myself to have been brought up in a stable, loving nurturing environment. I don't think it is immoral or "wrong" to watch or participate in porn. I have enjoyed porn in the context of a relationship with previous partners. I have also seen porn that has made me feel ill.

Porn doesn't make me feel inadequate, just as the Die Hard movies don't make me feel less of a man - I realise that it's scripted and quite often unrealistic. There are a few porn stars I consider attractive, they tend to be the "more normal" looking, without massive boobs etc. Someone previously stated that the most attractive thing in a woman is confidence, damn right. It's the thing I really go for in a lady, but if she doesn't have confidence, then it can be built (I'm not specifying sexually either). Women come in all shapes and sizes and different women are attractive for different reasons, I'm personally not into overdone plastic surgery, I would say plastic surgery at all, but I guess if done well then I wouldn't even know it had been different before - such as a nose job. Big can e beautiful as can slim, it all depends on the woman and generally comes down to how confident she is within herself.

However, porn (like guns), can be massively damaging, I work for a record-store chain and went apeshizzle when we were expected to stock "adult" movies. There's no way I want a little kid coming in my store and picking that up "hey mum/dad, look what I found", no way. I managed to not stock it on this argument, eventually. Also, I think there is some weight to the argument that porn can reinforce negative stereotypes, setting PEOPLE (not just women) as objects - BUT, pornstars earn more money than me... 1 hour of my life is worth about £8 and to be honest I've done some pretty horrible things for that money, like unblocking the customer toilet. Everyone should be entitled to make choices in their lives as long as they don't harm others. On the porn debate, this is tricky, does it have a negative effect on society as a whole? I don't think so, there are so many other factors that are contributing to a breakdown in society already, poverty being a chief evil and people (generally) aren't kicking up as much of a stink about that.

Some people, just cannot handle things in a responsible manner, guns, drugs, alcohol, food, fuel... The Cambridge dictionary defintion of porn is "books, magazines, films, etc. with no artistic value which describe or show sexual acts or naked people in a way that is intended to be sexually exciting but would be considered unpleasant or offensive by many people". There is a very obvious and pertinent Bill Hicks quote to follow this. I think this definition would lower the threshold of what "porn" is, as there are so many things that are accepted, that previously were considered taboo. 2 girls 1 cup, yeah, that's extreme and not to my taste (sic), I never want to see that, EVER, but who am I to judge if that's what my neighbours are up to in the privacy of their home in the context of a loving relationship? What also distresses me is the fact that it's so prevalent and almost unavoidable - SPAM, etc, potentially the greatest learning tool available to humanity (the web) and what's most searched???

I too have noticed a trend towards "off-balance" couples, check out the majority of UK football players or soap-stars, but maybe they all have great personalities? Hope so, or I'm doomed.

Originally posted by Sonya610

Most? You mean the ones you have seen? In pornographic pictures? On the internet? Mr. Expert how many times have you come across them in real life dating situations? Or perhaps you haven't actually dated enough to have encountered the situation?

LOL. In the real world (as in real women, real sex, real life experience) if they are proportional 99% of men would NEVER notice right off that the woman had anything done.

Using the most extreme examples would be like saying "all nose jobs are hidious! look at michael jackson!" when in reality the average nose job does NOT look hidious and strangers would never know the person had it done.

I'm sorry I have to disagree, fake boobs are obvious to spot.

Of course with clothes on it's impossible to tell, but once they become naked.

1. They don't look as nice.

2. They don't feel the same.

3. They don't bounce or move the same.

4. They don't even look close to as soft as real boobs.

Basically getting fake boobs almost eliminates all the things men like about boobs except size. So they sacrifice their naturally attractive boobs for bigger but not so soft, bouncy, natural boobs.

He is right, show us a fake boob job and we can spot it in an instant.
I know what you mean about the extreme ones, but we mean even the best ones are easily spotted.

I like breasts all sizes. It's just that I don't like fake boobs.( It won't really stop me loving a woman I guess, it's just I am not a fan.)

Of course there are plenty of men out there who do love fake breasts! It's simply not for me.


[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

One more thing porn has done is make those natural big breasted girls sometimes feel uncomfortable, because people are starting to automatically think that women can't naturally have big boobs that are firm, thin waist and womanly hips. But in fact there are plenty out there, it's just that people are starting to forget that because of all the fake boob porn and just assume they have fake boobs etc. ( Of course there are plenty of natural big breast porn too, which is easy to spot )

I sometimes hear people complain about the potrail of unrealistic women, big boobs, thin waist, womanly hips, but the fact is women come in all shapes and sizes, I see plenty of women like that when I go out, they are not unrealistic.
It seems people are getting confused with porn/media and reality.




[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by Sonya610

like thin women don't have issues?

Respectfully, would you please tell us what issues thin women face?

Obsrvr

Originally posted by sir_chancealot

Originally posted by kosmicjack
... I am interested to know if men think this is an accurate portrayal of the current situation. As a woman, I know many of my friends have felt the detrimental effects of porn in their relationships. ...

Western women's attitudes have done more to "deaden male libido" than all the porn in the world. Kind of a remarkable coincidence that there are is no pandemic of "deadened male libidos" in non-feminized countries, no?

More and more men are no longer willing to jump through the ridiculous hoops that western women demand they jump through for access to sex, or even companionship. Why do you think the marriage rate to foreign women from non-feminized countries has skyrocketed in the last 5 or 6 years? American women have priced themselves out of the market.

You hit that right on the head bro,

Porns a symptom of a much bigger problem... It's the way women act in the states... I very really meet any "girls" anymore... demands, and job schedules and their free time... women that want to date others while with me, money thats just been stolen from me, the states involvement in everything, girls that use guys and run and the system is set up to just devestate men...

Totaly understood... the porn comes after... at least in terms of "obsession" after... the miserabel relationships and women that are emascualting cold and bust doing 99 other things but being women...

Feminism is a nightmare...

and frankly, oversexed women aren't very hot... a woman might not "fail" to perform the act, but having so much sex it's hard to please a person happens to both sexes...

Talk all day about Male performance LOL... And this is exactly why women are turning off men...feminism... it's a male problem...

LOL... how many oversexed unorgasmic, overstimulated hard to please sexually or emotionally because they had broken families...are there out there?

Just as many or more than there are screwed up guys... Money...my needs, my career...

I want to work and I want a woman... not who emulates the porn stars but... genuinely desires Me... provides me affection in real ways not just sexually...

But lol, the frigid/nympho female crowd doesn't get addressed.. just guys have issues...

see... this is why, I'd love any girl who was just normal...

screw feminism...

Camille Paglia said it all and know one listens...

and for the record porn does have alot of miserable consequences if over used...

People worry about all the violence on TV, but things you'd never want to actually do don't stimulate you to do them...

over exposure to sex is actually a big problem on all ends male and female..

sex, you want to do, so the more your exposed...the more real it becomes... sex influences behavior via the media and daily life... violence not 1/10th as much...

I don't care if my kids watch pokemon all day and play act... but I'd sure like sex on tv at their age level to be lessened, it affects them for sure...

kids are all fetished out by like 16 lol... it is ridiculous already... childhood should be innocent.

Different movie scripts?

For myself, porn represents the quickie or 'cut to the chase' in a world that gives us less time and money for ourselves and dating. I've known a few women who appear as if to want that 'perfect date' scenario as if reading from some scripted romance novel. So, it would seem that more often than not, the guy ruins the build up and the script? (just forget it!!....I'm gonna take a long bubble bath!)

So, while guys may have their porn, I think the girls like their romance novels and bubble baths?

Soft porn with a plot or a really good chick flick, might be more promising than a mechanical porno and bad acting. I think a woman should be able to script out an evening to teach the guy what she likes rather than surprise her with stupidity.

My second wife didn't like oral sex. I later found out it was because she was cheating on me. What romance novel was she reading with the cable guy in the bathtub?

I think maybe the next relationship I have might will be with a shapeshifting female like the one in X-Men. It would also appear that some guys have favorite porn and movie actresses.

One girl I knew claimed guys said she looked like Sandra bullock, I disagreed, which didn't pan out very well.

As for breasts, the idea of a woman leaking some fluid other than breast milk....is a a real turn off, but, it has crossed my mind if I ever need to caulk around the tub.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by aleon1018]

Originally posted by Obsrvr

Originally posted by Sonya610

like thin women don't have issues?

Respectfully, would you please tell us what issues thin women face?

Obsrvr

From my experience naturally thin women get bullied by fat women. Really I've seen it a lot, they call them skinny, ask them do you eat? etc etc

Some fat women HATE them, and they do this stare down, they stare at their body up and down, then start talking rude to them.

Jealousy? self concious? hmmm

I like thin women, but I also LOVE curvy women. I love a nice ass, and a "big" nice ass.

But I have noticed over the years that way more people also are starting to love a curvy ass more.
Could it be porn? or media like hip hop/RnB etc?






[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Now this all sounds liek it came from an angry housewife who's inadequacy she blames on porn. But period a male will find attractive what he does. Even he cannot change that. If anything porn helps, because women tend to have quite a hold on men due to their sexual prowress, or rather man's misunderstanding nature. Either way you ladies are just mad because you dont fir YOUR ideal. What is the whole point of being beautiful? to get ursekf a mate that u find atractive. Why is this? Becasue whatever atracts u, is what is a good genetic mix for your own genes. Men get bored with thier wives and look at porn...well isnt that better than them going out and finding a younger woman? Or finding a prostitutE? I really think you should quit while you are ahead, instead of sticking your foot in your mouths and making things worse for yourselves.
P.S. soem guys would ratehr take 5 min to themselves than send 45 min trying to make the old lady happy, maybe its your unattraction to your man that was causing problems in the first place, it is heartbreaking when one tries so hard and she leaves in a bad mood after 30 min of sweaty backbreaking work. if women want plastic surgery, all the power to them. You are who YOU want to be, not who anyone else wants, though im sure people will find a way to turn that one around, but...what they will say is THIER opinion, not everyone else's. storetype, societal views, that doesnt matter, people wouldnt want to change if they liked themselves.
If god didnt want women to get breast implants, Hue would be a few dollars shy of what he is now.

Big bottomed girls,
They make the rockin´world go round!

*sorry*

reply to post by Obsrvr


I'll answer that question for Sonya because I recently found myself in a foot-in-mouth situation. One of my girl friends is extremely thin. Size zero, barely fills an A-cup, and has no hips or butt to speak of. I was on some sort of tirade about stick thin women who deprive themselves and end up having the bodies of 14 year old boys and how men can not possibly find that attractive and how most men want 'REAL' women with female bodies that include breasts and hips. Anyways, I wasn't thinking and it ended up really hurting her feelings. She has a body like that naturally and it made her feel awful like men didn't find her attractive due to her naturally lean body. So, yes, thin women can have issues. I was a late bloomer as well and was a total bean pole until around the age of 18 so I remember what it was like to see the shapely curvaceous women and wanting so badly to be like them.

Edited to add after seeing Phoenix's comment: He is absolutely right. Fat women can be downright cruel to thin women and treat them like total garbage. When I was in high school there was a girl who had to have been around 250 lbs. She was a complete arse to me and my girlfriends no matter how nice we tried to be to her or reach out to her. We would constantly hear her talking bad about us and our bodies. So, yes, that can be hurtful as well.

reply to post by kosmicjack


I made a rant similar to this topic in another thread. My post is HERE. Although, instead of limiting it to the porn industry, I talked about airbrushed models in general and various marketing techniques that objectify women and program us with unobtainable goals. In a Cindy Crawford interview, she said something really cute but it was so true: "Cindy Crawford? I would love to look like Cindy Crawford! I am Cindy Crawford and don't even look like Cindy Crawford!" She was talking about how much they 'fix' and airbrush her in her modeling career and how it gives a false impression because Cindy Crawford doesn't even look like Cindy Crawford in real life.

So I guess we can widen the scope to not only the porn industry but the way women are marketed in general.

reply to post by _Phoenix_


I'm not going to get too much into the boob job debate and although I can agree with you in many cases, it simply isn't true entirely. It can depend on what material the implant consists of, in what country the surgery is performed, if the implant is inserted behind or in front of the muscle, and the increase in size a woman has from her original size. For instance, an A cup going from a DD cup will be hard as a rock but a C cup going to a D cup is very subtle and the softness and flexibility will stay in tact.

Just an FYI. Many factors go into implants and not all augmentations result in hard as a rock, rippled, stretched, frozen, cantaloupe halves being attached to a woman's chest. You would be surprised at how well breast enhancement surgery can turn out.

reply to post by Sonya610


I loved reading your posts in this thread.

[edit on 8/5/2008 by AshleyD]

Originally posted by Psychopump
Big bottomed girls,
They make the rockin´world go round!

*sorry*

Gotta love them.

*sorry* Man talk.....

Originally posted by AshleyD

I'm not going to get too much into the boob job debate and although I can agree with you in many cases, it simply isn't true entirely. It can depend on what material the implant consists of, in what country the surgery is performed, if the implant is inserted behind or in front of the muscle, and the increase in size a woman has from her original size. For instance, an A cup going from a DD cup will be hard as a rock but a C cup going to a D cup is very subtle and the softness and flexibility will stay in tact.

Just an FYI. Many factors go into implants and not all augmentations result in hard as a rock, rippled, stretched, frozen, cantaloupe halves being attached to a woman's chest. You would be surprised at how well breast enhancement surgery can turn out.

Yes I know all those factors And your right.
Like I said I can even spot the BEST breast implants, trust me. And yes they are not so bad, but still I could live with it, and even love them, but I'm not a big fan.

So I guess you can agree with me on all cases now




[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

reply to post by _Phoenix_


Hey, that's fair! Some men absolutely love fake breasts and some men are completely turned off by them. It's personal preference so I cannot hold anything against you for liking the natural ones!

But it was funny- I read your comment on page one last night and did a Google image search of before and after boob jobs. Some looked much better after getting them done and some... er... I can only imagine resulted in the woman suing the doctor.

All boob jobs are different.

Originally posted by kosmicjack
It seems every guy wants to date a girl who looks like a porn queen

Not true at all, I've had a few (attractive) male friends who were heavily into dating and meeting women and were attracted to girls that don't look ANYHITNG like that.

As an aside, pr0n could in fact enhance a relationship.

Originally posted by AshleyD



But it was funny- I read your comment on page one last night and did a Google image search of before and after boob jobs. Some looked much better after getting them done and some... er... I can only imagine resulted in the woman suing the doctor.

All boob jobs are different.

Haha yeah all are different. Even the best ones look nice I guess, but a picture and a video/real life look are two different things. It can look good, but it may not move the same, or bounce the same etc etc.

Your right all are different.

But I'm sure many people here who possibly watch porn, have seen a girl they like with perfect breasts all of the sudden get fake breasts and totally ruin their image.

I guess it's not just a physical thing? I don't know, maybe I am more turned off by the idea of the woman wanting to change herself? You know the whole confidence thing. The fact that she feels there is something wrong with her, that is probably a bit of a turn off for me?

LOL I'm feeling a bit dizzy with all this breast talk.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by buddhasystem

Originally posted by kosmicjack
It seems every guy wants to date a girl who looks like a porn queen

Not true at all, I've had a few (attractive) male friends who were heavily into dating and meeting women and were attracted to girls that don't look ANYHITNG like that.

As an aside, pr0n could in fact enhance a relationship.

These days I think almost every type of girl is in porn. So you really can't say a guy wants to date a girl who looks like a porn queen, because that girl could look like anything.

[edit on 5-8-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Well maybe in the 90's you could tell what a porn queen looked like. But these days I think almost every type of girl is in porn. So you really can't really say a guy wants to date a girl who looks like a porn queen, because that girl could look like anything.

Well look, the OP clearly had a notion of a particular type, right? So my reply was to that. As to reality on the ground, I agree with you.