"The Porn Myth"

Originally posted by Res Ipsa
Sonya's sociopaths have boundaries misconception and what I have read from his postings all ready.

I said they have boundaries based on their OWN fears or concerns about incarceration etc... Now granted the ones locked up don't have such great boundaries, but I firmy believe there are PLENTY of sociopathic personalities running around and functioning well in society.

Many of them realize they can get what they want from life and others via mainstream methods (business for example, they may not have any moral sense but they are smart enough to avoid doing things that will get them arrested and incarcerated).

Anyone that thinks all sociopathic type personalities are rapists and common criminals has not paid attention or was not aware of the signs. The best of them will fake being "normal" so those around them never suspect, it is easier to manipulate others when they trust you.

[edit on 8-8-2008 by Sonya610]

reply to post by Sonya610


Sonya, it isn't about being smart enough to not get caught....they get caught because they think they are TOO smart to get caught. They have egos the size of mountains. They feel they are above the law. They are world leaders, lawyers, businessmen, all over Wall street,..etc where there is power to be had the best sociopaths will be found. You can't shake a stick with out hitting one.

This isn't a thread about sociopaths though, the only useful advice about dealing with sociopaths is don't marry one, but hire one as your attorney.

It is the psychopath that is the threat to all. All psychopaths are sociopaths, not all sociopaths are psychopaths.

There is no doubt that Despise is either full blown sociopath or playing one on the thread....no big deal....but inbetween socio and psycho are SDP's
(sexually dangerous people) I'm not even going to guess where on the spectrum he is at....I just know he is one I avoid.

......so, lets end the sociopath and psychopath discussion at this point, it is too far off topic.

reply to post by Res Ipsa



Alright then, it sounds like we agree. But you used the word "misconception" i felt the need to clarify. And the don't marry one is good advice. I have an attraction to that personality type, and probably the main reason I have lived so long without trauma (other than business wise) is because I don't expect boundaries to be morally based, but based on the potential risks and consequences.


[edit on 8-8-2008 by Sonya610]

Originally posted by elevatedone

1b.) Profanity: You will not use profanity in our forums, and will neither post with language or content that is obscene, sexually oriented, or sexually suggestive nor link to sites that contain such content.

It appears as if this was directed toward me. I thought I'd been careful enough to convey my point in a manner appropriate for a thread with this adult theme without using profane language or violating your terms and conditions, but I apologize if my conduct crossed that line.

Originally posted by Sonya610

If he could get away with it he probably would! But I have not seen any comments that hint at a willingness to committ assault and battery (and deal with the legal consequences), but we have read a LOT about women nagging, so nahhh.

Sociopaths may not care about most others, but they do care a LOT about themselves, and if you know they do not want to put themselves in bad situations (i.e. prison) you can trust the boundaries they set in that regard. But if he could talk OTHERS into doing it, and have them risk prison, now that would probably be a vicarious thrill, especially if they were willing to send pics.

That is correct. Only fools and masochists commit actions that they don't think they will get away with. It's much safer (and actually more satisfying) to use manipulation, philosophy and the power of suggestion to inspire others to act on their innate violent tendancies. One man can only do so much by his own hand, even if he is wealthy and well-connected, but one who can inspire others and change their behavior patterns can wreak unlimited damage.

I've seen what growing old does to people and I don't understand why any man would want to live much past 50 or so. Your body deteriorates and you're less and less able to take care of yourself. Then your mind starts to go and you become a pathetic shell of your former self. My belief has always been that a truly free person should take their own life once they reach the point where they don't feel it's worth living any longer. I'd say that point usually hits around middle age, but most people are too damn stubborn to bow out gracefully and they stick around for a few more miserable decades.

Absolutely priceless. Thanks for making my night. Not laughed like that for a while.

Hope we'll get an invite to your 50th birthday when you go out in a blaze of glory - providing your brain and body are still functioning by then of course

There are a great many women who, no matter what, will NOT open their mouths and say "I like this" or "Don't do that" in bed. Instead, they think that the man should automatically KNOW what they like in bed.

"If you REALLY loved me, you'd know what I want"

Probably the most relationship and intimacy destroying female assumption. That one really drives us crazy - as a previous poster noticed, men desperately want to please their partner, and all we need is to be told what is wanted and needed from us. Of course, the woman actually has to know this for herself first, as changing your mind mid-stream is even worse

The other one I love is:

Women marry men expecting they will change but they don't.
Men marry women expecting they will not change but they do.

lol

I think it is far more difficult and noble to tell someone "You hurt me," than to say, "I hate you."

braver to say:

"I have chosen to feel hurt by your actions"

Even braver to let it go and say "I love you".

reply to post by DuneKnight


Dude I was going to ask you a while back what century you lived in, but I now see you live in Egypt, so nuff said

[edit on 8-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

Originally posted by RogerT
reply to post by DuneKnight

 

Dude I was going to ask you a while back what century you lived in, but I now see you live in Egypt, so nuff said

frankly whatever i said was well echoed by everyone else. dont jump on the whole middle east bandwagon for the heck of it, because everything i said came from me alone and has nothing to do with where i live.

edit: i will star your post for almost being racist!

[edit on 8-8-2008 by DuneKnight]

Originally posted by EverythingYouDespise
That is correct. Only fools and masochists commit actions that they don't think they will get away with. It's much safer (and actually more satisfying) to use manipulation, philosophy and the power of suggestion to inspire others to act on their innate violent tendancies. One man can only do so much by his own hand, even if he is wealthy and well-connected, but one who can inspire others and change their behavior patterns can wreak unlimited damage.

OMG its the Joker!

Originally posted by DuneKnight
dont jump on the whole middle east bandwagon for the heck of it, because everything i said came from me alone and has nothing to do with where i live.

Actually I like middle easterns and muslims in general. However I have often wondered what century you live in too, so yeah I don't think its a middle eastern thing. I think its just you.

reply to post by Sonya610


because of the crying thing? well i dont want to see men sob because the red sox lost or something.

Sonya,
If you read through Dune's postings you will see an amazing transformation. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) hint; see when some poster got him....annoyed.

reply to post by Res Ipsa


dude you dont know me well enough, if u look at all my posting you would see major contradictions thats part of who i am. at times i like to play the devil's advocate and sometimes i play the paragon. sorry to break it to you but im very objective and i dont have one face. so my opinions vary. however you didnt get me annoyed you will have to do more than that but you did give me an idea though

reply to post by DuneKnight


I just read my last post and I see why you think I meant "I" was the one that annoyed you. I wasn't. You didn't even break your act after the Ahmadinejad comment. No, some other dude busted you. Playing devil's advocate is one thing, but playing some nob from the middle east when you are anything but. Well that is just playing games.

I have no problem with you what so ever. I just wished I would have stuck to my guns when I called you out the first time. I have just as much fun as finding you guys as you do messing with us. Don't be a player hater.
(edit....found it. EverythingyouDespise got to you. I didn't even get to read what he wrote, it was taken off real quick I assume)

[edit on 8-8-2008 by Res Ipsa]

reply to post by kosmicjack


Regardless of the morality of porn on the web. It is there for all to see. Now most humans have a desire to see these images for a variety of reasons depending on one's circumstance. Give yourself a minute to reflect on that. What is 'your' circumstance? (no pun intended to the recipient of this message).


Once again, think about why it is so 'publicly' available? Before I get to the reality of why it is so pervasive and so 'available', most people regardless of what country they are from or what set of morals or ethics they ascribe to would surely NOT want these images so availbable for their children to witness especially at such a vulnerable age.

Some of the images so publicly available should at the very least require some verification of one's age and or require a paid subscription (of what would require a credit card of which would imply one is of a certain 'age' to qualify for in the first place).

The 'real' reason for porn to be so publicly available is for the public to become enraged to the point that they DEMAND that the internet be monitored and controlled. THIS is the intended purpose. The internet is last form of free speech. I think we can agree that most mass media are owned and operated by dual Israeli/American citizens of which wish to further control America and it's foreign policy. See my other posts if you wish to know where my assertion comes from. Once again, the internet is the 'last' form of free speech here in America of which is not 'bought and paid for by those who wish to control the mindsets of the public at large. I am greatly concerned about the current plan to control/monitor the internet by those who's desire is to further control our society for the benefit of the wealthy and well connected neocons or whatever label you wish to use to describe those who want to control public thought/action at your expense and 'their' benefit. It is all about CONTROL. It always has been. Everyone should read the articles included in the following link to understand what is currently planned for 'our' future.
www.truthnews.us...
Please review the link above for your own knowlege and forward/relay this info to everyone you know before it's too late. This is VERY important. The internet is the last means of freedom of speech we have. We can not afford to allow the internet, our last means of free speech, be controlled/monitored by the powers TO be.
Salute.

reply to post by DuneKnight


Sorry I got it wrong then bro'

Being from Egypt kinda gave you an excuse for being a tad prudish and emotionally constipated.

If that's got nothing to do with it, and your philosophy is your own invention and not learned, then I guess that's just your bag.

Personally I think your posts display a lack of sophistication, and have somewhat of a 'religious' flavor, but that's just my ignorant opinion.

Originally posted by RogerT

"I have chosen to feel hurt by your actions"

You are right. Or, since most of us probably wouldnt use that phrasing, "That hurt." Not placing the "blame" on either, just acknowledging that one has been hurt.

Good points about the "pleasing" issue. Another poster stated that because men like the sound of a woman in ecstasy that this meant that men innately want to please women. That didnt sit well in my mind, but I wasnt sure why at first. After a day or so of letting it simmer, and in light of some of the new posts, by both you and Dune Knight, I think I know why I felt an objection to that statement.

It isnt that men innately want to please women. Or, even, that women innately want to please men. That may be the way we behave, both genders do spend a lot of time figuring out what pleases the other, and attempting to act or look that way. But, ultimately, we are all looking for acknowledgment that we are good enough. I think thats why you get that syndrome where people change after marriage or into a long term relationship.

Some women do put a lot of effort into being "the perfect woman" when they first meet a guy they are interested in. They dress the part, they never show their critical side, they display their domestic talents, they demonstrate how loving and nurturing they are, they are little sexual dynamos in bed, etc. Not that these arent somewhat the truth about them, but it isnt the whole truth. There are jokes about the likelihood of getting oral sex from a woman after marriage as opposed to before, for instance. Woman dont change after marriage, they always were that way, they changed (or put on a facade) to make themselves more attractive in the initial mating dance, and cant maintain it over the long haul.

Some of the men on this thread have pointed out that there is a similar thing going on with men. Some guys have internalized that women like jerky men, and so they put on a front too. Or they play mister "perfect" similarly to women, with flowers, dancing, theatre, and long lunches with the prospective mother in law. Hardly any guy (that I know of) will be their absolute self in the initial stages either. And, like women, the social facade that is chosen is too much to maintain 24/7 in an intimate relationship. It can be maintained in "public" for so many hours of the day, but not forever, all the time. It does seem to be a pretty accurate statement that women often do have some "plan" how they will make the male they have selected into a more perfect creature over time. Even if this plan is unconscious, and unspoken. (I have heard it stated pretty openly however.) And it does seem to be a fairly accurate statement that men seem to accept the facade a woman presents as the truth, and hope that it will persist.

So it seems to me that both genders have a strong desire to please the other. And it seems to me that many members of both genders seem to feel the way to do so involves pretending to be something other than they really are, at least until you are deeply involved. And it seems to me that this strategy is almost always a recipe for disaster. Eventually, the masks fall, and you are left with the truth about the other. Some people accept one another and move on, and the relationship grows and develops with acceptance and love. Some people become angry and bitter about being mislead and the relationship degrades into fighting and blame or quiet resentment.

No one wants to be mislead and lied to, and tricked into "buying" into a relationship that they might not have chosen knowingly. (Or, even if they would have, they are still resentful about being mislead)

And no person wants to be rejected when their true face finally shows itself. I would say most people are looking for that someone who can love them unconditionally, just as they are, and genuinely be pleased with them. We arent really, at the deepest level interested in jumping through hoops to please each other. We are really, at the deepest level, hoping that what and who we really are is good enough to be loved and accepted.

Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
So it seems to me that both genders have a strong desire to please the other. And it seems to me that many members of both genders seem to feel the way to do so involves pretending to be something other than they really are, at least until you are deeply involved. And it seems to me that this strategy is almost always a recipe for disaster.

Wow that was a well written, heart felt expression. I remember you from when I first started posting on ATS; the smiley faced killer thread. I always thought you were male and was surprised to discover in this thread that you are female.

I can’t disagree with anything you have said here. It is all reality based. However, truth is, there is sex and reproduction, and there is wanting to find one’s essence. People confuse those things. Yeah, sex can be great! Nevertheless, the root cause of many sexual/romantic desires is a biological, the subconcious desire to breed and in some cases (for females) to breed and create an environment for producing and raising offspring (even if they don't plan to have offspring).

I think overall people put way to much emphasis on finding a human mate. They never ask themselves, why exactly do I want to find a mate and what do I realistically hope to gain? For so many it is the “ultimate” because they crave, they yearn, and they assume finding a partner will fix all that.

Okay all I can say is you have made very very good points, and you are correct. I cannot disagree with any of it. But at the same time, anyone that looks to find their soul in another partner is bound to be disappointed. And honesty I do think the obsession with sex and dating is often just that. Searching for something that cannot be defined and that can not be found in another human for the vast majority.


[edit on 9-8-2008 by Sonya610]