posted on Aug, 6 2008 @ 01:27 PM
We moved to Hammond, Lousiana, just as I started 9th grade. The school had just been integrated, and all of the white people who could beg, borrow, or
steal the money were putting their kids in the private school. So I attended the formerly black school, and less than 15% of us were white that year.
Prior to this I had never cared about the color of a person's skin. I had black friends, even had a black "boyfriend" when I was much younger. But
during the four years I spent in Hammond, the blacks taught me not to trust them, to be suspicious of them, to avoid them in groups, and to never,
ever forget that blacks and whites are NOT the same. To this day, and I'm 50 now, I avoid groups of black people and am somewhat nervous around black
people I don't know.
When I was in the Navy, I was stationed in Hawaii, on Oahu, for four years. I discovered that the Polynesian natives have a derogatory term for white
people, "Haole." Once or twice a year there would be a "kill Haole" day in the schools, and this was serious enough that the military would put
out memos suggesting that everyone to keep their kids out of school that day. There were many other incidents I need not detail, but suffice it to say
that I learned what it is to be the victim of prejudice/racism.
Do I think I'm better than anyone because of their race or skin color? No. But I've learned the hard way that humans are very prone to defining
people as US and THEM, and race/color is one of the easiest ways to do that.
Most of my friends are white now, and I live in an area that is less than 2% black. In fact, over 95% of the population is either Caucasian or Native
American. I don't think anyone is less than me or better than me, but my preference is equal but separate.
Another thing that bothers me is that it is apparently unacceptable to be other than ashamed of being white. There's black pride, Mexican pride,
Native American pride, Asian pride, etc. But say "white pride" and you might as well be wearing a white sheet and pointy hood. Why is there a
cultural heritage month for nearly every race EXCEPT the Caucasians? Why is it okay for the black child to say "I'm proud to be black!" (or
African-American), but not okay for the white child to be proud of being white?
Caucasians aren't the only bad guys on the planet, you know. (And I'm not talking about greys yet.) Every race has some atrocities, and all have
members with great accomplishments. Black movers and shakers are celebrated conspicuously, but when do the white kids get a similar celebration? Some
would say "all the time!" because so many scientists, musicians, all the presidents, etc. etc. were all white. Yeah, okay. But never is the point
made "hey these guys were all white."
As a white person, I dare not go to the "black" side of town. They stare at me and mutter under their breath, and even the black man who used to be
my husband's boss told me it's not safe. I know from experience that there are other places where I will be the one discriminated against, if I go
there. But it's never spoken about or acknowledged.
As a white person, I dare not say that I am proud of who I am or I become a racist. Apparently I must always be ashamed, or at least humble, about
what I am because all us whites have been and are such terrible people. No wonder we're stressed and popping pills in record numbers!
In an ideal world, heck in MY world if I could be Queen of the World, people would be valued and evaluated according to their words and deeds, and by
nothing else. That'd be fine with me. But as long as there are people who insist on dividing people into US and THEM based on race and color, I am
forced to do the same or suffer the consequences of my foolishness.