World's Oldest Joke Traced Back to 1900 BC, page

World's ten oldest jokes

The forgotten link added

We reveal the results: from latest to earliest

10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)

7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC – 30 BC)

6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)

5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)

1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

[edit on 1/8/08 by Hanslune]


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[edit on 2-8-2008 by Jbird]

reply to post by Hanslune

---

I don't think we would have gotten this far without a sense of humor.
Personaly, I get a kick out of the Augustus one. Odd thing is, it makes me think of some of the jokes I hear from Texans.
Mostly I'm surprised the one about the six legged, two armed, and four armed creature that wanred down the road one day. I think that was dated to almost three thousand or so odd years. (Wish I had the joke book still, and if you don't get the answer, think along the same lines as the Sphinx riddle.)

What the Roman's wrote on the walls of Pompeii

The link

Some samples (not very funny in some regards)

III.CIL IV 1864: Samius Cornelio suspendere.

A very short and sweet message! It says: "Samius to Cornelius, go hang yourself!"

V. Not.d. Scavi 1986(3): Sabina, felas, non belle faces.

This must have been written by a common citizen of Pompei, who wanted to scorn someone he knew as a harlot, it says: "Sabina, you s**k (felas instead of fellas), you won't do it nicely (belle is "sermo plebeius" for pulchre).

V.5 (near the Vesuvius Gate); 7086: Marcus loves Spendusa

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1880: The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian.

A laundry list

VI.11 (on the Vico del Labirinto); 1393: On April 20th, I gave a cloak to be washed. On May 7th, a headband. On May 8th, two tunics [you have to be hard core to carve that into a wall]

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

VI.16.15 (atrium of the House of Pinarius); 6842: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend

More from Pompeii

VII.2.18 (vicolo del Panattiere, House of the Vibii, Merchants); 3117: Atimetus got me pregnant

A phrase we hear still on this board

IX.1.26 (atrium of the House of the Jews); 2409a: Stronius Stronnius knows nothing!

(image and source tags)



[edit on 2-8-2008 by Jbird]

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