guinness brewery

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim
Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But
where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. "There was an
accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me.."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and
drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go
quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee!".

An Irishman, an Englishman and aScotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks outthe fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches into the glass,pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"