this post is probably going to piss off some people. and i apologize before i even say anything...it might actually be that bad.
*cue bitter resentment*
whats the f#cking deal?!?
why the f#ck does sh#t like this never happen in my life?
im probably the only person in new york city that i know that is aware of anything besides this 3 dimensional piece of sh#t we call reality.
and what do i get...NOTHING.
i spend HOURS.....researching and studying and slaving over computers and papers and documents, wanting and begging and asking and asking...AND
FU#KING ASKING... trying to find out whats out there...and inside.
and WHAT THE F#CK DO I GET?!?!?!
NOT A G#DD#MN THING!
no out of body, no psychic phenomena no metaphysical experience.
JUST A WHOLE LOT OF F#CKING BLACK BEHIND THE LIDS.
personally i am convinced that even perfect beings can play favorites. and i hate to be immature and pissed the f#ck off but this thread really hit a
sore spot for me.
envy doesnt even begin to....nevermind...its just a severe understatement to how i feel right now.
and now that it is confirmed that despite ALL of my efforts -just like everything else in my life- they will amount to NOTHING.
i see why people can curse god then wrap their mouths around a double barrel shot gun.
then again this is coming from a 19 year old, black girl from the city who...clearly by cosmic standards...DOES NOT QUALIFY.
f#ck it all to hell...if there is one.
and with that, i will politely excuse myself....
i have a date with a 30 pack of swiss razorblades and an ice bath.
thanx for listening...