Economics For Dummies

Economics explained:

Thought I would share this, as it made me laugh...

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISE: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer, so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for fivecows. The milk rights of the six cows is transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported otherwise.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

If you know anymore, feel free to contribute to the thread.

Ha! I didn't think I would find economics funny ever again, but you proved me wrong. Thanks for the laugh.

reply to post by kindred


yeah that was great post

ill flag it just for fun

This two cows thing is all over the place - here's more:

www.thecapitol.net...

and another with some new ones

eccentric-toast.com...

Note at bottom of 2nd link:

...The preceding text was blatently plagurised. By countless people not just me

.

reply to post by kindred


HAHA .. I love it.. especially the Enron one..

Perhaps if economics where explained in such a way to grab attention, more would care!

A kindred spirit has the power to bring a smile to everyone
you are no exception to that rule

Thanks all I'm glad I brought a smile to everyones face. They certainly made me laugh.

You're right rockpuck if everything was explained in such a humorous way, more people would probably take interest. I guess sometimes if you throw some humor into a topic, people will laugh, but at the same time they are laughing because they knows it's true.

Thanks solo1, we are all kindred spirits. All part of the same family that calls itself humanity and if there's one thing we all have in common, it's trying to make sense of this crazy world. Hopefully together we can help each other and make it a world to be proud of. Respect!!

Thanks Relentless, the links you posted are just as funny, if not more so than the ones I posted. I'll shall pass them on to my family and friends so they can have good chuckle as well. Thanks again.

A real pleasure reading. Nice way to teach economy.