Originally posted by DMTeed There was rumors that her friends had Scrapies type 19. Its an prevalent STD in the space community. That means death for me if I get infected. And hatching Scrapies out of every orpheus.

Pretty crazy....I can't hang with that. They should have kicked her ass off the ship, she's a damn health hazard. Or at least quarantine her ass.

You have to be careful, because I actually contracted Reptilian Warts from this stewardess:

Not bad, still....at least she's better looking than the some of the barflies I've hooked up with here on earth.

She is a Centaurian. Her inetrest into Brittany Spears was a huge turn off. And yeah. Brittany is bigger than you think.

That's okay man, what I won't put up with is some chick who's into "Gangsta Space-Rap", that music sucks balls....

[edit on 31-7-2008 by Gateway]

"There is more than 2,000 thousand races outside earth."

I have a problem with the word "race".
I don't think it makes much sense to begin with.
If a black person calls an asian a name, then they are racist?
Or if a white person calls a black person, etc, they are racist?
Yet there is only one race, the human race.
There is different species of the human race.
So why is it not called, speciesist?
However we are so ignorant, we choose that there is only 1 race on earth, the Human race.
All other living things we consider to be just species, they apparently, according to us, don't deserve the term "race".
Yet what about all the other living things?
How are canines not a race?Or felines or horses etc.
Races of living things, that have different species in every race.
Dolphins are mammals like us, so are whales, yet apparently they don't deserve the term "race".
So why would we assume that life from other planets, would be other races, and not just different species of the whole one race of living things.

Dolphins are marine mammals that are closely related to whales and porpoises.
All cetaceans, including whales, dolphins and porpoises, are descendants of land-living mammals of the Artiodactyl order (even-toed ungulate animals).

I will continue this post evening tomorrow. I need to go to finish my report on the future of the human race at my Lyran college.

The paper:
"Are Humans Worth Saving?" An inside look to the core of human responsibility. A picture of their history of aggression and violence.

Considering it's horse#, this thread is actually pretty entertaining.

My favourite part was about the alien chic he hooked up with through "space book" (very witty!)

Reminds me of the movie The Breakfast Club where they're grilling Brian about being a nerd and virgin and he says he's "laid lots of times", only they wouldn't know the girl because she lives in Niagra Falls.

This dude is 14 years old, he's liad lots of times, but she's an renouned intergalactic artiste from the other side of the galaxy!

Originally posted by mf_luder
Hey.

I'm from the Universal Alliance - Planet X. I was the Commander of the UAS Majik, registry number 11738. You know anything about that? If so, please U2U me. Thanks.

If you are from the universal alliance, then why does your sinature say " I want to believe", Shouldnt you already know

yea i agree, while totally bogus, this thread is pure comedy gold

Star for your entertaining stories DMteed, ever think about writing fiction?

you know what i mean jellyfish?

Ok, i'll play.

Originally posted by DMTeed

Please specify the galaxy, star system, or planet you would like to visit.

Preferably one woith oxygen and an Ocean that has a mean temperature of 20 degrees celcius and has weird inhabitants with as many as six hands that specialise in remedial massage.

Purpose of visit.

To experience a similtaneous six handed remedial massage on another planet that also has oxygen.

Duration

What kind of visa system does the Galactic Federations have. How come there is no Embassy details in your post, my Intergalactic passport expired last year and you know how long it takes to post forms 10 billion light years away and then wait form them to be posted back, especially since the United galactic Federation Express postal services( UNFEDEX) outsourced all its mail pilots to a dodgy Ewok Courier Pilot association who only pay their pilots with Star Wars memrobilia. Ages.

Your carry-on luggage (Other people, pets, things)

I won't be taking alot when i leave, but what kind of excess am i looking at for luggage containing three live Greys(you know, the aliens with big heads and eyes and skinny bodies) as i am planning on abducting a few of those suckers to see how they like it....oh yeah, pay back is a bitch.

P.S> can you send me a brochures. Secondly, Who will be flying, my last inter planetary trip was ruined by an Islamic Ewok just out of a small Cesna flying school in Pakistan that Al Queda rejected as a commercial airline highjacker and suicide pilot. This Ewok couldn't see over the space liners instrument panel and crashed into a John Leer moon tour shuttle. Which brings me to my third request, Travel insurance, will the insurance cover my RFID implantation and removal again.

*All humans and other living beings must be chipped (RFID) before boarding.

Why is it only humans have to be chipped. If this isn't the worst case of Alienism (racism equivalent in intergalctic terms). I am so sick of this. The last time i joked with a reptilian about watching out for Steve Irwin(RIP), i recieved a court summons from David Icke, where i had to show why i should not be registered as S.E.X .offender(or Serious Extraterrestrial Xenophobe).

Could some mod please move this to BTS, or you know, axe it. This is ridiculous and breaks the first rule of ATS.

AGAIN.

Why is it that the rule 'You will not post knowling false information' hardly ever seemes to get enforced? This is rubbish and is surely the kind of thing that should be bannished from ATS if we ever want to hold serious discussions.

I'm not saying that the Above network shouldn;t entertain this kind of obvious joke, however there are places on BTS for that, not here where we're meant to be trying to seek a greater truth.

Not one scrap of this thread is denying ignorance or adding anything whatsoever to the community on ATS.

Just one mans opinion...

Actually this thread poses an interestring question....



Do aliens have a sense of humour?

If other universal entities exist (as they surely do), and most probability light years ahead of our 'terran' planet. I wonder how humour is seen in the advanced 'races' out there?

Love it all

Z

Originally posted by DMTeed

*We authorize all personnel to probe or taze during cruise when necessary.

About the probe is it a very large probe or something like a nano sized probe? If it is a nano sized one then I think most people would be willing to accept that, but if it is a large probe then most would decline.

What happens if you get someone having to be probed then tazed? Wouldn't that malfunction the probe or does the taze have something built in it that doesn't get effected by multiple probe/taze combinations?

I don't understand why a galactic space cruise liner would be owned by the United States Postal Service.

For one, there's other countries on this planet you know.

But my big question is... do you know what the significance of the number 42 is?

Legend I cannot believe anyones taking it seriously, shows how ridiculously geeky and gullible some of ATS are, the fact they're asking the guy to provide evidence of his space trips