The Women's Restroom; and other feminine mysteries, page 43
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ATS Members have flagged this thread 31 times


reply posted on 13-3-2009 @ 10:23 PM by TravelerintheDark
reply to post by americandingbat



You know, I could probably talk about this way more than would be considered normal, but I find animal behavior fascinating in general.
To keep from driving the thread further away from the topic I'll at this time simply agree that strength does play a role, being tempered by natural disposition, in my experience


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 01:31 AM by seagrass
reply to post by AMANNAMEDQUEST


I think that is exactly it. Nailed.



reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 11:53 AM by sylvie
Originally posted by LDragonFire
I do have a question, why do so many women go for player type guys, guys they know will cheat on them? Is it the challenge? Or the yelling and screaming that always ends such relationships?

[edit on 29-7-2008 by LDragonFire]


I'm a woman, so here's my theory.

I guess that's the same question all the other guys have: why do women go for "bad guys"? My guess is that we're all brought up with unrealistic expectations of what constitutes a relationship. We grow up with Barbie dolls and princess dresses, with stories like Cinderella and the Little Mermaid, and The Beauty and the Beast.

So we're wasting our lives waiting for that "knight in shining armor" to rescue us, or the more modern version, the knight in slightly chinked shining armor who is physically strong but emotionally a bit damaged, and whom we in return have to rescue from the demons that are haunting him.

THAT's why women go for the "bad boys"; a) for the above-mentioned, romanticized reasons, they're somehow sexier than the "Goody-two-shoes"; b) they believe they can CHANGE the guy over time; as in "Love heals all." Of course that never works (and I have plenty of experience to prove it), and when the whole thing breaks apart, the woman is left licking her wounds, wondering whether she didn't love him enough to succeed. So she'll try even harder with the next guy. It's a vicious cycle.

Why do you think many women insist on spending their life's savings on their weddings? It's just ONE freakin' day, for crying out loud! But they've been indoctrinated that it's supposed to be "the happiest day of their life." And wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make it so? They unfortunately forget that the wedding day is only supposed to be the BEGINNING, not the final destination. Remember that romance novels and movies always end at the point where the hero marries the heroine; they never talk about the dreary everyday life that comes after.

In other words, women are much more indoctrinated by glamour magazines, fairytales, toy manufacturers, not to forget their own parents and families, etc. than men... and it basically starts from the first day they draw breath.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 12:13 PM by sylvie
Originally posted by scientist
reply to
post by seagrass



I only ask for a single answer to help clear up confusion with women... in fact it goes beyond confusion into the realm of cognitive dissonance / cranial implosion.

E.G.
- Girlfriend does NOT like violence, not even violent movies or violent music. Girlfriend LOVES diamonds. Explained to her that the diamond trade is coated in corruption and blood. Every diamond in the store is potentially the cause of multiple deaths, and even if not - the diamond industry itself fuels wars and genocide on a daily basis.

She understands, but doesn't care. She just wants that damn stone that does nothing but look pretty.

If you can manage to drill that logic into my skull, I may just have a breakthrough.

and just to clarify: YES, I am making the assumption that MOST women have the same feelings towards diamonds.

[edit on 29-7-2008 by scientist]


Not me; I rarely wear jewelry and told my husband right away that he shouldn't bother ever buying me one. A cubic circonia looks just as nice and I don't have to worry about losing it.

Theexplanation for your girlfriend's attitude is most likely: COMPETITION. If she has a circle of girlfriends that are all about "nice stuff," it's likely that the peer pressure is huge, and she'll only feel good about herself (and you) if she can show off a "big rock" to her friends. Essentially, big diamond = love and appreciation. The bigger, the better. Yes, it's shallow, yes, it's insane, but if you don't want that, you'll have to look for a different type of woman to hook up with.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 12:49 PM by sylvie
Originally posted by LiquidMirage
Originally posted by seagrass


They describe us as materialistic, insatiable, inevitable cheaters, and this is just here on ATS.
Why do we have such a bad reputation amongst men? (Never mind the other side of this coin please. Women feel the same about men I am sure.)



Seagrass I have often thought of myself as a hopeless romantic. It's becoming harder and harder in this day and age to really find true love. Sometimes all I want in my life is someone to love and love me in return. But the odds are against me. I am 32 years old and and have spent the majority of those years single and unattached for the following reason. Of all the women I have dated over the years I have yet to find one that understands the concept of honesty and integrity. Thats not to say that honest women don't exist but from my experience they are far and few between. I have found women to be lier's, cheaters, and materialistic. Thats a recipe that seems to fit the bill every time. From my experience I have come to the following conclusion:

Men approach a relationship with a woman thinking "what do I have to offer her?"

Women approach a relationship with a man thinking "what does he have to offer me?"

Now of course, not everyone fits the above description because in every analysis there are statistical outliers. But for the most part, the above axiom is true!


BTW: If there are any single ladies out there looking to meet and decent honest guy please, by all means, hit me up

[edit on 30-7-2008 by LiquidMirage]


You do sound nice, but I have to ask: a) do you live in a big city? It's harder there to find good women (especially if you look for them in a bar; and b) what are your criteria when you're looking for a woman? If you go by T&A, as one female poster here said, then it's likely that you get one who IS shallow, materialistic, and self-centered. Before you ask someone out, you should try to figure out what kind of PERSON she is. And remember, often the ones that are exceedingly pretty have been the shallow cheerleader types in high school and have probably been "Daddy's little princess" their entire lives. Of course they're spoiled and needy. Now, I'm not saying you should go for the ugly ones; just make personality your priority, not looks.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 02:01 PM by sylvie
Originally posted by seagrass
Originally posted by Grendel39
I read just the 1st page of this thread but I had to ask before I was done reading all of it. Here goes...

Why is it during a "discussion" with a woman and a man feels he's actually fixed things.... a few days later he's confronted with it again? I think I know why. The woman who HAD the discussion quickly went to her OWN girlfriends and discussed it, sort of a womans court.

This happens all the time and this "court" is packed with yes women. There in lies the problem. We aren't just arguing with you but every female you know! It's exasperating! NOW, You've had a "few days to think about it", you've consulted with your friends and decided to renegotiate the terms of the "discussion" we had DAYS AGO! Men NEVER get on the phone or talk to their buds at work about what relationship problems they have but women feel the need to consult. What does that say about making up your own minds?

Also, I'd rather NOT have "our" personal business discussed within the family. Yet that happens as well! Say there was a rough patch in a relationship..... why does the entire side of the womens family and friends need to know about it? Why can't women keep private matters just between the couple that you are?

I could go on but I think I made my point.
you need to have this conversation with her. Explain why it isn't good for your relationship. Women probe each other for information.
It is common to have these talks. It is almost rude not to answer them. But she doesn't have to offer up that info. I can understand why that would be annoying. If you could ask why first instead of saying you do this, and that... you might get somewhere faster. I would explain how it makes you "feel". She will relate to that. She might not even consider it may be embarrassing for you, or irritating. She may not know why she does it. She may want other's opinions on relationship issues. Just like we are doing here.


I have to agree with Grendel, though... these "women's courts" can really destroy relationships. When hubby and I were newly-weds and lived in NJ for nearly a year, we got into a circle of couples where the women had all known each other forever and called each other every day to yap about this, that, and the other.

They'd spend hours to complain to each other what their husbands did wrong ("Can you believe what he said today?"). I was not that close to them, so the only person I had to complain to was hubby himself. I should mention that all of those couples (about 5) got married around the same time my hub and I did... today we are the only ones of the whole bunch that are still married. The others are all split up, some of them with the nastiest divorces imaginable.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 06:43 PM by seagrass
Originally posted by SevenBeans
Originally posted by sylvie
Why do you think many women insist on spending their life's savings on their weddings? It's just ONE freakin' day, for crying out loud! But they've been indoctrinated that it's supposed to be "the happiest day of their life." And wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make it so? They unfortunately forget that the wedding day is only supposed to be the BEGINNING, not the final destination. Remember that romance novels and movies always end at the point where the hero marries the heroine; they never talk about the dreary everyday life that comes after.


That makes some sense, I could never understand it (and in fact I refused to have a big expensive wedding and she is still irate over it 6 years later). The choice was a big huge expensive wedding or your dream house (where we'll live and raise our kids for the next 30 years)... she wanted the big wedding! HUH?!
Our mothers even promote these "glorious end point celebrations". I have had two of those "festivities" and both of them weren't for "us" they were for the people who where coming to it in my opinion. I really don't understand the "wedding" concept. Even while I was preparing for them I was very confused. And to this day when I watch someone getting ready for one, or see the pictures from one, or attend one... I am still confused. They sure can be beautiful though. And sometimes quite fun. Creative yes. (Now the honeymoon, I totally get) But as far as I am concerned after two of them, I never experienced a "true authentic wedding". The guys look like they are nauseous the whole time. My favorite wedding stories are the elopings off to somewhere they pick as a "fun spot" and always will be. So much more romantic and secret.
I also don't believe in marriage. I believe in conscious choice commitment based on trust and alliance.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 06:47 PM by seagrass
reply to post by Pointofview


I believe some relationship attractions are really based on self experience. We want to find out what we want, who we are and part of that requires finding out what we don't and who we aren't. I have tried on many outfits I "would never wear" just to prove to myself... "that's not me".


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 06:53 PM by mutantgenius
reply to post by LDragonFire



I am a chick and just hazarding a guess based on what I know of women that do this. I think it's because they don't want it unless someone else wants it. If noone else wants it then how will they become the envy of everyone else? Also, some women really like to play victim.


reply posted on 9-2-2011 @ 06:58 PM by mutantgenius
Originally posted by scientist
reply to
post by seagrass



I only ask for a single answer to help clear up confusion with women... in fact it goes beyond confusion into the realm of cognitive dissonance / cranial implosion.

E.G.
- Girlfriend does NOT like violence, not even violent movies or violent music. Girlfriend LOVES diamonds. Explained to her that the diamond trade is coated in corruption and blood. Every diamond in the store is potentially the cause of multiple deaths, and even if not - the diamond industry itself fuels wars and genocide on a daily basis.

She understands, but doesn't care. She just wants that damn stone that does nothing but look pretty.

If you can manage to drill that logic into my skull, I may just have a breakthrough.

and just to clarify: YES, I am making the assumption that MOST women have the same feelings towards diamonds.

[edit on 29-7-2008 by scientist]


I like fiona apples line "whats so impressive about a diamond, except the mining" Seriously, if you are in love with someone, you don't think about these things, they are a non-issue. When you love someone you want to GIVE love. Diamonds are for people that are in love with themselves and the idea of love. They do not know how to give love. Unconditionally.
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