posted on Jul, 19 2008 @ 03:16 AM
I am a female, and I am glad I look decent, but I am NOT obsessed with my looks, and I do not particularly feel pressured by media to look perfect.
Maybe, just maybe, the why part might help you a little.
One, I work with mostly men. (I am a plumber) They really just dont care as much about the little details of appearance that women seem to think
they do. They dont tend to notice your shoes, or your eyeshadow, they are looking at other things entirely. Not just the stereotypical things you
might think I am referring to, either.
Two, I cant be "perfect" by the media standard all day doing what I do. I get dirty. Oily. I brush the hair out of my eyes and leave black
streaks on my face. My hair comes out of my braid and looks all scruffy by the end of the day.
Three, despite all the above, I get my fair share of attention from the male gender. I think what men really find attractive, (if it is about other
people being attracted to you, I dont want to assume) is someone who is confident, both in their looks and in their femininity. I dont feel one bit
less feminine because I am in the trades. I am just a dirty, sweaty, female with little or no makeup on.
You asked in your original post "how to let go." The answer I think is that you cant worry about the how, you just have to DO it. Just stop doing
certain things, and see how much they matter. Go out without makeup, even if just to a store where no one knows you. Spend some time unadorned and
get comfortable with it. Stop wearing makeup at home, so you get used to how you look without it. (I know at first you feel naked, but after a while
when you see really "done up" faces, even your own, they look kind of clownish) Give yourself the experience of being accepted, and liked for your
natural self. Success breeds success. If you do it, and the world doesnt end, you will be more comfortable doing it more.
Trust men more. They arent all as shallow and superficial as some magazines and ads may make it seem. They are really pretty cool for the most part,
and they like all kinds of women.
Dont assume all other women are in competition with you, or judging you. I am not. My best friends arent either. We like when other women succeed or
are happy. (And men too) I am happy for women more beautiful than I am, but only if it hasnt trapped them. Beauty is nice to have, while you have
it, but if it has you, rather than you having it, it seems a bit more of a curse than a blessing. I dont wish women like that ugliness, what I do
wish for them is the security of knowing that they are so much more than just hair, clothes and makeup.
Definitely read less womens magazines, and stop watching certain kinds of TV shows. You already know they are preying on you.
Good luck. I think realizing you are stuck in a pattern is the first and most important step to getting out of it.