The Online Persona verses the Real You

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posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:20 PM
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Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander

Originally posted by sc2099
We all play roles but some don't like to admit it.


I know how to play the social game and be "popular." I just choose not to.


Playing a role to become popular?

Is that why some people with obvious digital ego issues are motivated here?

Acceptance, adoration?

Could it be for some that popularity is secondary to freedom of expression?

Perhaps the online persona is actually liberating people, enabling their suppressed selves due to societal constraints or self imposed silence.




posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:27 PM
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Should a magical fairy wave her wand and bring us all into the same room, I doubt many would find me much different than how I represent myself online.

That being said, I don't engage in much ATS subject-matter off-line because people in my vicinity are genuinely or willfully ignorant. I spend most of my day with what I refer to as the "semi-elites" or "self-appointed superiors". I work at a University. The single most deeply entrenched hotbed of institutionalized ignorance I have ever witnessed. I must not challenge the foundation of their social/culture structure as it is threatening to most.

Oy! don't get me started!



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:35 PM
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Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012

Perhaps the online persona is actually liberating people, enabling their suppressed selves due to societal constraints or self imposed silence.



Why would one be forced by social constraints except by fear of social exclusion? Unpopularity?

It seems to me we are actually making the same point, but that I am naming the underlying fear, not being liked and accepted.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:39 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 





Could it be for some that popularity is secondary to freedom of expression?


I'm sure it's somewhat different for everyone - but I think freedom of expression is the best explanation

other posters have said they're the same here as outside ATS - myself included

but there are a lot of others already who have said they're shyer, coarser, more careful about their image, etc. outside of ATS

but we all get to speak our mind here - anonymously - which automatically makes you a little freer

here you don't even know someones gender sometimes, let alone their age, background, nationality, financial situation...

you can guess - but sometimes you're just flat out wrong

I think it's probably difficult to fake a personality - to actually be different

but we all have different versions of ourselves - and in a situation like this you get to let some of your versions out of their crate once in a while

I like what you said because I think it might be true - the freedom to speak your mind is ultimately more important than being popular - all things being equal

things are just not as equal outside of ATS, so in our "real" lives - we are what we evolved into due to our varying life circumstances



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:49 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 


Hey there,

I'm the same here as I am anywhere else. In my line of work ATS subjects are 'the norm' rather than 'the weird' (I love my job)!!!

So I consider myself very lucky in that respect. As for family and friends ... well, they just seem to accept that, that's who I am, whether they share my opinions or not ... and they do ask some brilliant questions.

If I'm ever in a position where I need to explain something that might be considered particularly 'off the wall', I tend to use simple everyday/logical analogies. That seems to help even the unlikely ones understand the point I'm trying to express.

I found Ashley D's post very interesting ... about being 'very meek' in the outerworld. I think that's what is so great about a site like this, as it gives a voice to those who might otherwise stay quiet. In my experience people like 'Ashley' usually have some extemely interesting / useful things to say (under their cloak of anonymity), because they have absorbed more about their surrounding ... rather than diving in headfirst with some half-assed idea.

Great thread ... starred and FLAGGED !


Woody



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:05 PM
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I've tried being different personas online. But inevitably, I can never not be me. Sooner or later me shines through. I suppose this inability to be someone else is caused by a deep level psychosis of being happy with who I am. It's a definite social disorder that ensures my only friends to be those with the same disorder. Living with this disorder is like going to a masquerade ball without a mask.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:08 PM
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When I was seven years old walking to school, I was sure there was a "big black building" where people went to know stuff. I thought that was where the secrets were being kept. When I found ATS, something clicked. I read voraciously, to see where my ideas fit in the "general mass consciousness" here. Sort of an experiment for me. As for my D-Ego, I find that I too say things that I wouldn't normally in my real life. I am surrounded by stubborn Republican farmers. (Nothing against Republicans but they don't open their mind up to the new as well as some) My 43 year old husband spends his free time on his Xbox and I spend all day with a 6 year old, so I come here for the intellectual stimulation I seek. On other socially based forums I am even more open, and have made some great friendships outside of the virtual experience. We call each other now. I like having a vast pool of interesting minds to dip into for enlightenment or entertainment.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:22 PM
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I wonder if the following question will get any honest answers...

Have any of you through profiles, chat or forum posts exaggerated, distorted, somehow fictionalized the details of your real lives?

In other words, have you used your online persona to create a fictionalized version of the real you?



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:34 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 

Hi again,


To your second question about honesty in profiles ... still the real me.


Woody



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:35 PM
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Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012
Have any of you through profiles, chat or forum posts exaggerated, distorted, somehow fictionalized the details of your real lives?

In other words, have you used your online persona to create a fictionalized version of the real you?


I once masqueraded as Duke Of Wellington from the Napoleonic era for over 16 months -- actually believing that I was he. It was great fun, but I had to call it a day in the end.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:36 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 


how will you know if they're honest? :-)

this is the only forum/chat situation I've ever joined

not much of a joiner - mostly like scurrying around the internet reading

ATS is different - at least for me

the only explanation for why I talk at all here is because of the subject matter - and the fact that it's some pretty interesting and civilized conversation - not an argumentative anarchy like some forums I've seen

so - I don't see the need to be anything I'm not - and there's no reason to embellish my life - because I don't get more points for having an interesting life - at least I don't think we do - do we?



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:38 PM
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Originally posted by Cadbury

Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012
Have any of you through profiles, chat or forum posts exaggerated, distorted, somehow fictionalized the details of your real lives?

In other words, have you used your online persona to create a fictionalized version of the real you?


I once masqueraded as Duke Of Wellington from the Napoleonic era for over 16 months -- actually believing that I was he. It was great fun, but I had to call it a day in the end.
I am adding you as a friend, simply based on that comment alone.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:48 PM
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Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012
Have any of you through profiles, chat or forum posts exaggerated, distorted, somehow fictionalized the details of your real lives?

In other words, have you used your online persona to create a fictionalized version of the real you?


I think in the sense that there is no way we can put ALL the details of our lives into a profile, they all give distorted views of us.

I have never, for instance, discussed my allergies in a profile, nor my stealing of candy from a store as a child, the spankings I got, the time I betrayed a friends confidence, etc.

The things that tend to end up in profiles tend to be things we find positive (even though some of the more Goth among us may find their "dark" things positive in that sub-culture) about ourselves. Or at the very least neutral.

I have never deliberately entered false information into a profile. I tend to say very little in my profile, nor do I generally read other peoples. I am not a "mySpace" type of person. I like to get to know people via interaction. Even if it is just typewritten online interaction. It still gives me a sense of them as a living, changing, organic being, rather than the "still shot" profiles provide.

Edit to add; I do not distort the details of my life when I post either. My life is weird enough. I have lived a very interesting and out of the ordinary existence, (not better in many cases, just not the normal expected sort of life) and I think for myself the the truth is stranger than anything I could think to make up.

[edit on 18-7-2008 by Illusionsaregrander]



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:50 PM
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I am the same person - except that in my personal life - I can discuss taking positive action against corruption, with like-minded individuals, and not have to worry about breaking the TOS.

ATS is definately an overflowing fountain of knowledge due to the collaborative action of its intelligent, wise, and diverse membership - but I constantly have to self censor myself here - to avoid being banned for discussing the wrong subjects, or suggesting a real strategy for positive change.

It is unfortunate - but it is what it is - and I would be all the poorer without the spirted discussions and altrustic education provided by the most excellent community here.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:56 PM
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Originally posted by Spiramirabilis

how will you know if they're honest? :-)


I'm not sure, see the post directly above yours, do you believe it?

I suppose it is true when people say that you can't believe anything on the internet.

You can say and do things online here that you can't or will not do in public, you can fictionalize your personal details, become an alter-ego.

[edit on 18-7-2008 by The_Alarmist2012]



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 03:08 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 


:-)

I believe it - and I do NOT believe it - LIAR!

my apologies to the poster above me

truth is pretty subjective - what we believe is true about ourselves - is usually crap

we're usually not really honest with ourselves - not really and truly

that's a whole discussion right there

but, what we really do believe to be true, the truth as we see it our own selves - that's another other thing

what we believe to be true...

so - a lot of times I think it's not about misrepresentation - it's about perspective

but oddly enough - I actually think if you're going to get a true, honest - no BS point of view from people - it's going to be in a situation like this

I don't look at that as an absolute - of course their are people who enjoy exploring other alternatives - without those people we would have no theater - no fiction for that matter

and of course those people are here among us

but really - I think people in this environment speak the truth as they know it - to the best of their abilities

what you choose to believe is the problem here

this is a great challenge to people - and a good thread - I hope it continues



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 03:14 PM
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I will tell you this, I have no profile as there is no point really, is there?

I have used the internet to communicate serious issues to others and found that also there is no point, because without providing real world proof it is meaningless.

I have in the past used an online persona which became an alter-ego, ultimately I felt trapped somewhere between my digital ego and my true self, eventually my alter-ego became someone I wanted no part of any longer, I separated myself from that and swore I would never let it happen again, that is why I am exploring this here, as I know there are others who have been down a similar path.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 03:16 PM
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Ugh...I was writing this freakishly long detailed post that was more like a blog, then I realized that I can sum it up in a few bullet-like points:

I am very private on- and off-line, and I like to be liked, but I don't like people to like me too much to get too close. I wear masks to make people like me then vanish when they really want to be my friend.
I have some serious insecurities and social anxieties, have troubles with coherent syntax while speaking so I just don't try.
I am freer and more willing to be "myself" and express myself through written media, especially internet (I say I learned typing in my keyboarding class in high school, but really I just chatted too much on IRC).
I had many long distance relationships through the internet and spent a fortune of my mom's money in high school on calling cards so I could talk to all of my online friends, while I hardly talk to my "best friends" from before the internet. I even met my fiancé through IRC, and moved 500 miles away from home to be with them.
I have always desired to experience the lives of others, and have always written and/or role-played to explore these alternate realities which are as real for me as the rest of the world because I hold everyone away from me.

As far as ATS discussion topics...I am too insecure and afraid to really say anything about them to people outside of ATS. At my work one of my bosses dissed the entirety of the employees at the Whole Foods across the street as weirdos with tattoos and strange hair and I don't know exactly what else because I could come up with no other observable facts to understand his prejudice. I think the internet has spoiled me to open-minded people



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 03:28 PM
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reply to post by The_Alarmist2012
 


true to your word - you have no profile

can I ask you an honest question then?

what are you after exactly?

this isn't the beginning of a confrontation - so please don't misunderstand the question

you're here at ATS - a very specific type of forum - regardless of your personal favorite subject matter

it is a forum where "information" - and I would put a billion quotation marks around that if I could - is ALWAYS suspect

this is basically an exchange of ideas/theories - a place to ask your questions - and get feedback

even when something is resolved here - it's never really resolved

this place is Alice's Wonderland - and I am thankful for it - I like it here

there are some incredibly bright, perceptive people here - make no mistake about that

bright - brilliant even - people who quite often think everyone else is nuts

and the world outside of ATS - well - we ALL look like nuts to them - so - it's good to have a thick skin

but I'm really curious about what you're after

since you have no profile - I can't even guess your age

but if I were a friend of yours - what I would say to you is:

you go ahead and say what you need to say the way you want to say it - as yourself if you can - as someone else if that helps you

if no one listens - what have you lost?

but the truth is - someone is always listening - and somehow the right information finds the person who's looking for it



[edit on 7/18/2008 by Spiramirabilis]



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 03:33 PM
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Being trained in NLP, it's fairly easy to see who is faking a www.ego/alternate personality. Many here tell you that their
online persona is the same as their RL personality but they are
completely unaware of the dichotomy and the difference they portray to the
trained observer/listener/reader. They aren't really lieing as just ignorant.

Here is an overview of NLP.

en.wikipedia.org...



[edit on 18-7-2008 by whaaa]





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