The Online Persona verses the Real You

Originally posted by kosmicjack
I don't think it's bad in moderation, but being more satisfied or fulfilled on-line than in the real world can only breed disillusionment. Lasting happiness and confidence can only be achieved in the real world.

Well said!

One other thing I find interesting and somewhat telling is the fact that most of us online forum users seem to refer to the "real world" as if it is some other place where everything is real as opposed to here where everything is not???

Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012
...users seem to refer to the "real world" as if it is some other place where everything is real as opposed to here where everything is not???

Strangely, it is less real but more authentic.

[edit on 18/7/2008 by kosmicjack]

Thats an interesting question.

I think my real life identity lines up pretty well with my online personna. I find that in RL I tend to go out of my way to be polite and helpful to others and I see pretty much the same tendencies here at ATS. I don't care much to be the center of attention in RL and for the most part I'm the same way here. I feel that arguing a point to death is a complete waste of my time in both cases (hell, if someone disagrees with me I'm not going to waste a whole lot of energy trying to change their mind). I suppose the one thing where I do see quite a bit of contrast is that I'm more mindful of the words I choose than when I'm just talking to someone.

I'd be willing to bet that anyone here who has formed an impression of 'SystemiK' would find me to be quite the same personality in real life as here.

Originally posted by SystemiK
I think my real life identity lines up pretty well with my online personna. I find that in RL I tend to go out of my way to be polite and helpful to others and I see pretty much the same tendencies here at ATS. I don't care much to be the center of attention in RL and for the most part I'm the same way here. I

Just for illustration...

You can look at many posts in this thread and find the use of "real life" or "RL" real wold etc.

The point is, if you are indeed being yourself here, why is everything outside of what you do online referred to as REAL?

Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012

You can look at many posts in this thread and find the use of "real life" or "RL" real wold etc.

The point is, if you are indeed being yourself here, why is everything outside of what you do online referred to as REAL?

Good point. I used the term "in person" in quotation marks, because I think everything that transpires here is just as real as anything that happens anywhere else. It's just different, that's all.

I have been called
Sybil-esque
Take that how you will.
I can act like a real dumb blond some days, or I can really let my intelligence shine. It depends on the day.
No one in real life, knows what my interests are on ATS aside from those friendships I have made here that transfered into real life.
I would get the same eyeball rolling looks like I was a kook.
But I'm used to that.
I've been called a witch since the 5th grade.
The kids in my neighborhood think so too, because I dress all in black and I have a black cat.
The point is though, Iam far more myself here, than anywhere else.
I don't pretend when I'm online. I don't inflate my ego or try to be more knowlegable than Iam.
I'm just me..take it or leave it.

I have no qualms with the fact that I write better than I speak. And being aware of that fact, I'm more confident typing to a faceless audience than I would be having to look someone in the eye and verbally express the same opinions.

Not to say I'm necessarily shy in person, but I'd wager I'm more of an extrovert online. (Suppose the same could be said of anyone... in fact, this xkcd sums it up nicely...(hover over the image for the subtext))

Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012

You can look at many posts in this thread and find the use of "real life" or "RL" real wold etc.

The point is, if you are indeed being yourself here, why is everything outside of what you do online referred to as REAL?

For me it is habit only to use "real" to refer to offline. The same reason I call a cat a cat. Everyone else uses the collection of letters "c-a-t" (in English that is) to refer to a specific type of mammal, and so I do too to facilitate easy understanding.

I am a gamer, and have been for years online. In various online games the words chosen to represent specific concepts are different. I use the "coin of the realm" in order that I am understood.

No word has meaning in and of itself. It is imbued with meaning because we agree that it will be used to stand in for a concept. Someone years ago decided to use the word "real" or the letters "rl" to refer to the physical world as opposed to the internet. I chose to do the same because it is shorter, easier to type, and it is understood by many.

reply to post by Ian McLean


That is an excellent insightful post!

If you have missed it, you should read it.

I'm the same thoughts, warts and all, except I don't use the adjectives I use in real life with my internet posts.

TOS does not let use the flourish I would normally use to get my point across to thick headed people, so there is no doubt in both our minds, as to how I feel.

I my normal work day, cussing is to expected, both as a receiver and a supplier. Multiple instances of cuss words within one sentence is a bonus.

Originally posted by The_Alarmist2012
After being here at ATS, involved in a few discussions, reading through many others. I am curious about how people really express themselves in the real world verses what they do here in these forums.

How many of you would step forward in a group of people, friends, peers or coworkers and freely express your thoughts or views on the topics you get involved in here at ATS?

Are you the same YOU here at ATS that you are in the real world?

I think 'Are you the same online and in real life?' and 'Would you talk about ATS topics in real life?' are two questions that might not have the same answer.

I don't censor anything here. I just authored a thread a few minutes ago and after I finished typing it I had second thoughts of whether or not I should post it because it might be too personal. But then I decided that it doesn't matter if it's too personal because no one knows me IRL. As another user said, sod it. At ATS I can be anything I want as long as it doesn't violate the t & c.

Whereas, in real life I have to play many roles and definitely cannot let it all hang out. I would never bring up ATS topics to anyone but the closest family or friends because to most I am a no-nonsense kind of gal and I wouldn't want my beliefs to diminish others' respect for me in a way that would hinder my career or personal life.

In the same vein, I am a respectable wife so I can't dress too sexy or get drunk with my friends because that's not what a respectable wife does. We all play roles but some don't like to admit it.

I was waiting for someone to make a thread about this. I look forward to reading everyone's comments to see how similar or different people's personalities are compared to here.

No, I am very different. In real life I am very meek, shy, quiet, and don't talk a lot. On here I am a loud mouthed opinionated tyrant. God bless internet anonymity.

reply to post by AshleyD


So my question to you is why are you so differenet in real life? Would your family not appreciate the ATS you? Do you think it's conduct unbecoming a lady?

I definitely talk about things here that I wouldn't in a real life situation of a group of strangers or co-workers. Online I can easily dismiss or rebut criticism. In real life, it's not so easy. So I take a lot more chances here.

I don't have an alter ego, though. This is me. I talk with my husband and close friends just as I talk here. I am the same ME. I am much more relaxed in my verbal language and I swear like a sailor, which I don't do here. But the content is virtually the same.

I don't think it's particularly healthy to have more than one personality, although it's quite possible. I'm a big believer in integrity and it would seem that two (or more) personalities would indicate a lack of integrity somewhere.

I don't have another user account on this board, but I belong to several dog boards, where I have the same dog-related name so people know who I am.

I'm "out there" in the cyberworld. I don't tell all, but what I tell is true.

So many stars and only two flags...that seems wrong. If you find it fascinating - flag it.

love this - been wondering the same thing - there's another thread about the Avatars going along the same lines

I'm the same - except that it's possible I'm more annoying on the outside

I have to say - having to write instead of being able to speak is a help

so I have a chance to think first

but basically the same

I'm "that person" at the dinner party that will ask the airline pilot present if he's seen anything "special" up there

always willing to sacrifice my credibility and be the village kook

but if you don't ask - you also miss out on some really great conversations

Originally posted by sc2099
So my question to you is why are you so differenet in real life?

It's probably more natural than people on this thread are willing to admit.

Perhaps it is easier to separate what you do online here from the reality of your "real life" and become whatever you want to be.

It could also explain some of the bad behavior amongst some users.

I do not believe you can completely "be yourself" in this online environment when it is too tempting to drop the self imposed boundaries of your "real life" and say or do things you would not otherwise.

This is an enlightening thread, excellent replies from all.

Originally posted by sc2099
We all play roles but some don't like to admit it.

I dont think one can say that and be factual. Maybe it just depends on how successful you are at carrying out the role. I certainly did spend a fair portion of my life trying to force myself to be someone else. It made me desperately unhappy. It doesnt work for me anyway. People pretending to like you because you are popular or hold a certain position in life, does not mean they REALLY like you. If you arent really being YOU to begin with, then they cant really like you. They dont even know you, do they?

In my own life, an important relationship broke up and I realized that there was no way I could ever change myself enough to be all things to all people. It just couldnt work. And, simultaneously, I realized that in making all the changes over the years to please this person or the other, I no longer liked (or even recognized) myself.

It took a couple years of practice, but I have slowly and surely chipped away the masks I used to wear. I completely lost some "friends," changed majors from business to philosophy, and stopped working at a place that made me unhappy, but I found myself again. And I was pretty happy to discover that some of my friends and all of my neighbors really were my friends and loved me exactly as I am.

I know how to play the social game and be "popular." I just choose not to. Most people who take the time to get to know me, like me. I have a lot of good qualities, but not necessarily "flashy" ones that catch the eye. Many people never take the time. There isnt anything I can, or want to, do about that. Being a good friend is as important to me as having friends, and when you are just playing the numbers game you cant really be a good friend to very many people at the same time. For me it works better to accept that I am the sort of person that has fewer, but very rich and long term friendships.

I have many social masks. My ATS persona is just one of many.

I am many things to many people. Being in the public eye all my life has
has corrupted my sense of self. I've had to tow the line and not allow my real feelings show.

To some people I'm the sweetest woman that ever lived. To others I am as mean as a rattle snake.

I answer to no one but God and the IRS. I have no heroes, and admire very few people.

My deepest desire is to one day be myself. That desire may become a reality as I grow older. At the present time I am the oldest member of my family and have grandchildren and other family members that value my opinions and respect my teachings.

I still have to tow the line between a rock and a hard place concerning being myself. But, do I know what my real self is anymore? No, I do not.

If you find the real me let me know.