posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:59 PM
Originally posted by sc2099
We all play roles but some don't like to admit it.
I dont think one can say that and be factual. Maybe it just depends on how successful you are at carrying out the role. I certainly did spend a fair
portion of my life trying to force myself to be someone else. It made me desperately unhappy. It doesnt work for me anyway. People pretending to
like you because you are popular or hold a certain position in life, does not mean they REALLY like you. If you arent really being YOU to begin with,
then they cant really like you. They dont even know you, do they?
In my own life, an important relationship broke up and I realized that there was no way I could ever change myself enough to be all things to all
people. It just couldnt work. And, simultaneously, I realized that in making all the changes over the years to please this person or the other, I no
longer liked (or even recognized) myself.
It took a couple years of practice, but I have slowly and surely chipped away the masks I used to wear. I completely lost some "friends," changed
majors from business to philosophy, and stopped working at a place that made me unhappy, but I found myself again. And I was pretty happy to discover
that some of my friends and all of my neighbors really were my friends and loved me exactly as I am.
I know how to play the social game and be "popular." I just choose not to. Most people who take the time to get to know me, like me. I have a lot
of good qualities, but not necessarily "flashy" ones that catch the eye. Many people never take the time. There isnt anything I can, or want to,
do about that. Being a good friend is as important to me as having friends, and when you are just playing the numbers game you cant really be a good
friend to very many people at the same time. For me it works better to accept that I am the sort of person that has fewer, but very rich and long