Why do I have to be around other people all the time?

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posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:12 PM
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Society forces me to be around so many people all the time... at school... or when I would go to work at a job I would have to be around other people. I am around so many people that I will never get to know in public places. People that I won't ever get to see again. And then in school and classes there will only be some people that I will make friends with. Why must I be forced to be around other people all the time? It's like I can't ever be 100% alone. What if I want to be alone? Why won't society allow me to ever have a day by myself?

I know that people don't like living isolation. I just don't like how it's like we're forced to be around other people, or, we won't be successful.

I'm not going to commit suicide because I'm not depressed and I'm happy with my life... and I like my life and the people in it. That's not what I dislike. But my problem lies within the fact that the our society forces us to be around other people.

I guess that I'm just not much of a people person. I don't see what the thrill in talking to so many people and getting to know everyone is. I don't mind having the friends that I have... but... it's just that I find dealing with so many people each day kind of stressful.

How do people manage to function like this? Meeting other people all the time? And why does society pin me so I have to know the right people and I have to know people if I want to change things?

It's like either I'll be know people and be successful or I could very well do the opposite which would be to live alone and live an unhappy life.

I just like having quiet time with myself. Is that too much to ask for?




posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:16 PM
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Go check into a Bed & Breakfast in Maine for a week,
without a tv or a phone,
then tell me how it feels!

Who knows, you may love it.


[edit on 17-7-2008 by dgtempe]



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:17 PM
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you and I think alot alike my friend. I can't stand being around people either. Silence is golden and not enough people appreciate it, IMO.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. I tend to find a majority of people annoying. However, I believe when anyone is super successful, fame or money wise, this cannot be accomplished without knowing alot of people.



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:22 PM
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Originally posted by Mad_Hatter
you and I think alot alike my friend. I can't stand being around people either. Silence is golden and not enough people appreciate it, IMO.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. I tend to find a majority of people annoying. However, I believe when anyone is super successful, fame or money wise, this cannot be accomplished without knowing alot of people.



mad hatter i got some bad news.

me and you finally agree on some thing. the world is gonna end..


to the op:

i hate people too. this is why i have chosen to live alone, in a large house. yeah i got friends and i work. but i rarely let anyone come to my house. maybe the old lady every once and a while and a friend or two a month. when i feel like seeing people i got to work or one of their houses. dont worry man you are not alone, which i guess is kinda oppisite of what you want.. whoops sorry...



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:29 PM
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I think if you find it utterly impossible to live like a hermit then you're just not trying hard enough, OP. Go squat on some public land and live like a wild man. Or work long enough to buy your own land and live like a wild man. It seems to be one of the cheaper, and thus easier dreams to achieve in this world.

If you find yourself forced into social situations by this society, exit society.



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:41 PM
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nope....... quit blaming society, govt's, or anything/one for where you are in life. ultimately, you could make the sacrifices to be on your own.

i enjoy peace from others for the most part, but i sacrifice that peace at times bc i understand that forming bonds can be necessary at times for the goals that i aim to achieve



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 11:57 PM
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reply to post by justamomma
 

Maybe you misundestood what I originally said. I am blaming society because as humans we are social beings. Other people are social beings too. Therefore when I am around other people I am inclined to talk to them if they talk to me so I would show that I am being polite. People have a right to say what's on their mind and I won't deny that right to them if they want to say something to me. But my point is that I can't live alone in this society. Our society forces people to be with other people all the time when they're at work and makes it completely impossible for you to be 100% on your own. I can't do wild man stuff and I can't just exit society. That's impossible. I wasn't saying that I hated society either. I just think there should be a place that is within society that I could just be by myself, but, to still be around other people, but not as many people as I am forced to be around other people. And yes I am forced to be around these people. I can't live without them because of the needs and services of which they provide. If I am to stop being a part of society than I would cease to function of a human being. If I wasn't part of society I would be labeled an outcast or a loner by my peers and I wouldn't make friends. It would be impossible to live without contact with other human beings. You'd get cold, you'd run out of food, you'd get lonely, and you'd die.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:06 AM
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reply to post by Mad_Hatter
 

I think more or less the same. I can't stand a lot of people. I also feel that people don't appreciate silence as much as they should.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:21 AM
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reply to post by Frankidealist35
 

Human beings. Social animals, you know. Live in groups. Evolved that way.

Thrive best in the company of others. Don't do as well on their own.

Solitude has its charms, but too much of it makes people lose their grip on reality.

[edit on 18-7-2008 by Astyanax]



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:29 AM
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Originally posted by Frankidealist35
reply to post by justamomma
 

Maybe you misundestood what I originally said. I am blaming society because as humans we are social beings. Other people are social beings too.


That's not society; that's human nature.


If I wasn't part of society I would be labeled an outcast or a loner by my peers and I wouldn't make friends.


Wtf would that matter if you weren't around to hear such jeers? You want to make friends? I thought you said you just wanted to be alone.



It would be impossible to live without contact with other human beings. You'd get cold, you'd run out of food, you'd get lonely, and you'd die.


Any able bodied person can learn to build a cabin, hunt and fish, grow produce, and build a fire. The only thing you'd be lacking is human interaction which you said in the OP you didn't want any or hardly any of. If you really believe this then clearly you do want to be a functioning part of society and you do want to be around people.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:34 AM
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Because you're part of society and benefit from it.

If you don't like it, there's a lot of wilderness where you can be alone. Bye.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 12:34 AM
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Its strange that the 3 people here who say they don't like being around people are all frequent posters on a site that involves communicating with thousands.

Having said that, I don't like most people. But I like some, so I love small congregations with those people.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:05 AM
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I'm not saying I hate society. I'm saying that I should be allowed to exist within society, play my role, and chose when I want to interact with other people and when I don't. It's just that it seems that I usually cannot chose when I interact with other people.

And yes I did say that I wanted to be alone, but, not all the time. I do like being around other people. But I find it annoying how that if I want to be successful I will have to be around other people a lot.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:18 AM
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I agree with the OP. We anti-socials need a place where we can kick-it, where we get in free and you gotta be a G



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:20 AM
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It sounds to me that you have a job where you MUST interact daily with many people (like maybe retail sales?) and you go to school where lots of other students are supposed to interact with each other. You could just decide, while at school, to become a loner...thus considered anti-social...but what the heck, why not? The people you associate with in life, I like to call "plug-ins". These are the people that we associate with at work or school, that are really just there long enough know for a little while, then we unplug from them....many of these people, after leaving school or changing jobs, we never see or hear from again...so you've plugged into them for awhile, then unplug. Most people in our lives are plug-ins (except family...who you're kinda stuck with). So become a loner, and change jobs where you don't have to be with or see other people...and I think you might be happy!



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 01:34 AM
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Originally posted by Astyanax
reply to post by Frankidealist35
 

Human beings. Social animals, you know. Live in groups. Evolved that way.


[edit on 18-7-2008 by Astyanax]


That may be true but we were never meant to be social in a setting of several hundred thousand people within 30 square miles.

Humans do nicely in small groups. Not large groups. The larger the group, the more isolated a human is. Small groups would give us the emotional feedback we need on a personal level but people would know us enought to leave us alone when we need to be. Right now we just get noise from the masses..

At the same time, there's a psychic hit as well. In a city we're constantly bombarded with other people's mental states and our defenses weaken considerably. I believe that's the point where one wants to run to the woods.

Maybe we should..



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:02 AM
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reply to post by Frankidealist35
 


I suspect there are many who would agree with you on this site. I started a thread several days back titled "Myer-briggs personality test which one are you?" It was moved to below top secret.The interesting thing I noticed was there were alot of introverted/intutive people that responded. (60-65% i'm guessing) that seems very high compared to the average distribution of the population. Introverted people often do find it taxing to be in social situations for extended periods. As to what to do about it, embrace and accept the way you feel as a normal function of who you are. I'm guessing your an INFJ (introverted intuitive feeling judging)

I'm an ENTP (extroverted,intuitive,thinking,perceiving) It was uncanny how close this personality type fit me.


[edit on 18-7-2008 by Swingarm]

[edit on 18-7-2008 by Swingarm]



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:09 AM
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I know that people don't like living isolation. I just don't like how it's like we're forced to be around other people, or, we won't be successful.


Personally, I wouldn't mind living in aworld that was completely abandoned. I can deal well without people and I've found it much easier to do so when I stay away from them. I'm a recluse of sorts and I do stupid things to maintain it that way, and I do it without even thinking now too... Like, for example, I'll lie to people I don't even know just to get out of talking to them, or even if it will cost me a great opportunity - I won't call someone. I just can't handle communicating with people, especially those I don't know. I have a fear that they're always judgemental of me and it drives me crazy so I tend to try and avoid people as much as I can.



posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:14 AM
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Exactly, juniperberry. Right on. This is why people are labeled as "loners" and "antisocial." When it's not even that at all, it's that things aren't meant to be this way and humans long for deep connection with a family group, and nature. I enjoy small groups, and personally relating to people. But when it comes to large groups, crowds...I dislike it immensely. The psychic reasons most of all, as well as because I don't like to hear and observe the way most people behave. Can't relate to society? Good for you! I'm THANKFUL for it. Yeess, everyone wake up, run to the woods and grow some delicious organic food! I'll meet you there, haha, along with my pup and and a friend or two. Seriously.




posted on Jul, 18 2008 @ 02:52 AM
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Originally posted by Frankidealist35
I'm saying that I should be allowed to exist within society, play my role, and chose when I want to interact with other people and when I don't.

And I want to get paid, but not go to work.

Oh, wait, what's that? The fundamental benefits and protections of society require the individual to exist within that society?
Oh. Darn.





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