Wow man, I just stared at your post for the longest time. I have a way of always coming across in a harsh & inappropriate way ( I'm so
misunderstood). I hope I do you more good than bad. Up until about the age of 25 I was really not exposed to the gay and Trans gender cultures. Now my
girlfriend and I have many gay friends. This fact has forced my naturally inquisitive mind to ponder both situations.
First off you are not Trans gendered. Your are a PERSON who happens to be Trans gendered. Just like I am a person who happens to have brown hair. Just
because our ignorant society has issues with a single trait you possess does not mean that your "stigma" defines you in reality. Remember the Salem
witch trails? They thought they were right. "WORD"...
You are not a mistake and God has not forsaken you. You are a beautiful soul and equal to all other souls.I have two conflicting lines of thinking.
This is the part that might upset someone, please do not let it upset you.
1.) Scientifically I believe homosexuality and Trans genders benefit the over all well being of every species. Well since a peacock cant change its
feathers, I am assuming there are Trans genders in the animal kingdom as well. I simply feel that the difference between homosexuality and Trans
genderism may be a matter of severity. It has been observed in many species from insects to mammals. It is obviously not a genetic defect as it has
not "died out". So there must be a benefit. God I really do not want to sound like and Arse here so I'm going to give you 2 situations here.
On society's "perfect" island two pairs heterosexual chimps arrived after floating on raft. They multiplied to the point where there was not enough
coconuts to keep up. They died out and that species of coconut became extinct.
On "Natures" island homosexual chimps are thrown into the mix when the situation becomes dire and overpopulation is much less an issue. The chimps
also get their coconuts
. Just a theory, don't hate me.....
2.) Spiritually it may just all be a question of development. Perhaps we all have had a gay past life or can look forward to one in a future life. It
may be an entry level of development or an advanced level of development. You may have advanced so far, experienced and conquered all tangible and
emotional learning in your past lives. It might just be time for you to learn to love yourself and grow out of allowing others to influence your sense
You stated that you are "living as a man". How can you do yourself such a horrible injustice? Why are you letting unimportant lower souls force you
into a living hell? There is a small portion of your situation that is ALL YOU. I understand you may be cross dressing behind closed doors. Why in the
hell would you want to "check out" without even experiencing the full effect of what you so incorrectly consider your demon? Move to an area where
there are many evolving on your own level. Beg borrow and claw your way to a surgery if thats is your dream. Put on your girdle and shake your skirt
as you freely walk amongst like and more accepting minds. See a specializing therapist to help your down this experience we call life. You only got
one. Quit focusing on it defining you. There is much much more to YOU & LIFE. You are not really "special" in that aspect. There are thousands of
Trans genders out there. You need to find out how you are special and love yourself for it. If your gonna check out gain 450 lbs by eating your
favorite food, run naked on the white house lawn or whatever your "vices" may be. Game Over is well Game over. Get your "me" on first. Before long
you will realize your lifetime has flown by and you will be happy that you did not check out early. So you get beat up for wearing pumps, I've been
beat up for being skinny. We are all delt our hand mate..
The "evolved" love you man, appreciate you as valuable and respect your journey.
[edit on 17-7-2008 by HypnoAsp]