My heartbreak story

Hi, I'm new here but have been scrolling through some of these threads the past week.

I too have suffered a recent heartbrake a few months back. The girl was great and we shared a lot in common.. I had known her through friends and we always had an eye for each other for a long time so you can imagine the feeling of getting her when I finally did.

We were together about 7 months and everything was great and we really fell for each other. Then outta nowhere, she put a stop to things. I gave her her space and let her be and we still saw each other for about another month.. During this time she decided that she was going to take off of work for the summer since she just graduated and was going to travel and all.. Eventually I knew that I wasn't going to be able to handle this and we parted ways amicably.

Fast forward over 2 months later and I'm still constantly thinking about her and what she's doing and what she is going to do.. The last time we saw each other when she got stuff from my place she said that she was thinking of moving to Arizona whiched crushed me but in the long run is probably the best thing to put closure to the situation.

It sucks because I'm afraid to run into her with friends so I avoid certain situations with the possibility of seeing her.. Even though I know she would be completely nice to me if she saw me.. it would crush me. I've had my heart broken once before and I know how it is so I've done good with not calling or e-mailing her in moments of desparation and despair but its a daily battle not to. But I'm proud I haven't.

In your guys past breakups how have you gotten true "closure" on the situation?

Well I have never been one to pine much, but if you haven't been dating anyone else then you need to get busy and do that. And force yourself to STOP thinking about her when she pops in your head, immediately switch to another thought.

Get out, date, and have sex with new people, that way when you think back to the "last time" it won't be with her. New experiences create distance.

reply to post by Brewtownboy


Yeah, it's hard to know what is better. To have had a good relationship and consummated things, or to have a great relationship, get torn apart by school and parents and never get over it because you just got to third base.

I don't mean to be crude, but I've always felt that if you've had a chance to be competely intimate then you can have a fond memory.

But if you get torn apart before that happens, you always wonder what it would have been like.

Maybe it's different with guys and girls. Girls have that oxytocin thing going on, and guys probably have a different hormonal cascade. It's a little different from the 'love 'em and leave 'em' thing, at least ime.

Again, sorry to be a little crude.

To the OP, man.....that's the million dollar question. Closure is what YOU decide it is. If closure means, answers to all those caring questions in your head, man, I am sorry...but from my experience, you never get those answers, and even when you do, they just make more questions.


There are a lot of times in life, that you think it's right, or it COULD be right, ....but it isn't meant to, or some people just can't see things for what they really are....either you care too much to give up, or you care so little, that you don't notice until it's too late.

I suggest, you go out somewhere, and be yourself. Be your best self, but don't be fake....and be HAPPY that you are yourself, and that happiness, if genuine, will eventually lure someone towards you.

You don't always gotta be the chaser, sometimes you get to be the licker.
Life's a beach, dig it?

reply to post by siFtInG


Yeah, I used to have a good friend who thought the world of me, we always were getting together, spent two weeks together each Summer, always had fun.

Suddenly, this Spring they told me that they didn't really have fun last year and just 'endured' my visit (could have fooled me). Then they didn't want me around anymore, and not to come to their house. It wasn't so much mean, but that I'd bore them to death. (IMO, I'm anything but boring. (shrug))

Now, we don't see each other and never will again. It's very sad, b/c I don't know what I did, or why this happened and will never know.

It was crushing. I go to bed at night and wonder how this life-long friend could do this to me with no explanation.

At one time they seemed to be making up silly 'slights' they thought I was doing, but I wasn't and I think they knew that.

The best thing to do is to move on and make new friends, somehow.

Good point.




[edit on 16-7-2008 by Badge01]

Just forget about this girl. You need someone to tell you its never going to be the same again and it wont.

The thing that really helps me out is to show up one night at the bar/club, or wherever she hangs out, with a better looking woman. Make sure she sees you then ignore her. Easier said than done, but the few times I've pulled it off it made me feel better lol.

the only solutiont to your problem is to completly cut all contact with this girl. obviously there is no future.completly not talking to her and seing her and not getting updates on her through your friends is the only way, because it will eventually be like she doesnt exist. trust me, it will be very hard the first week. then it will be a roller coaster, we cant control what our feelings do. but with no contact and with time, there will be a point where you will move on.

It just takes time. No shortcut to healing the heart but just remember, to be heartbroken requires a loving heart in the first place.

Because you have a loving heart, you need to take care of it. Be slower to give it away.... and treasure it so it is there for the one who will come into your life who will deserve it forever.

May God Bless you and lead you to the one who deserves your beautiful love.