posted on Jul, 16 2008 @ 01:35 AM
I've been on ATS for just about a year now, most of that time under the name indierockalien. I had the penchant to bash religious people for being
weak minded and foolish and easily led. It was very wrong of me. I probably never seriously hurt anyone's feelings, but looking back, I made a
complete a-hole out of myself by doing this. Who am I to judge people's hopes?
It would be a shame to live in a world where nobody had any hope beyond just what can be physically seen, and whether you do that through
Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, new age, general spiritualism, the most important thing is that you believe, and even better, that
you KNOW that life is not all about what can be seen and touched and grasped and owned.
Myself lately, I've come to a very curious crossroads. I've had some very revealing experiences... but I don't think I know enough on my own to
truly make perfect sense of it all and make peace with the blinding light of truth. Do I take this spiritual path on my own? Do I trust myself to
random new age sometimes cult-like methods? Do I take that often confusing and disturbing journey inward by way of my own flawed judgment on something
that's bigger than all of the minds in the galaxy combined? It is within me, but can I trust my ego to guide me fairly?
Quite the contrary to my old Christian bashing ways, I've decided that Christianity seems to be the way to go. I'm not talking about Orthodox
Christianity. I have seen too much to take the Bible literally. I'm talking about the path of Gnostic Christian Mysticism.
A member of this site emailed me about a few of the posts I had made, and said that he was a Christian mystic, and I should check it out. I don't
think I emailed him back right away haha. A curious thing happened, though. I was at Borders, looking through the metaphysics section, when all the
sudden I saw this book just sticking out at me, like it was begging me to pick it up. I was hesitant because it had a big picture of Jesus on the
front... but the title intrigued me to no end.
It was called Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ: A Gnostic Christian Kabbalah by Tau Malachi. Not only was the phrase Cosmic Christ pretty bitchin'
sounding, but it was just the most synchronistic of events because only a day or two prior, this person had u2u'd me about Gnostic Christian
Reading the book a bit, I was amazed to find out that much of the Gnostic Christian teachings are very much in line with my philosophies about the
universe. I had, within the last year, come to a conclusion during meditation that within every single individual thing on Earth, there contains the
potential for the whole. Everything is a fractal of itself. Which means that everything is God. We are all God, underneath all of our layers. This is
what the Christian Kaballah teaches. This is what Jesus taught. This is what the mysteries of every religion teach.
I have no choice now BUT to have faith the Jesus was exactly the thing he claimed to be. I feel the kind of burden he must have felt, only the
difference is that I don't have all the esoteric knowledge of exactly how it all works. I just know the beginning and the end, and that knowledge
alone is too heavy to bear all alone like this. I have read quite a few pieces of the bible and the gnostic texts that confirm my knowledge to be 100
percent accurate. Read the Gospel of Thomas, and you'll find many references to it.
It's very strange, me running headfirst into all of this. Even though for the longest time I was an athiest, and even when I was into spiritual
matters but against any form of religion, I had always been attracted to the story of Jesus. What would it have been like to be the Messiah, the
bearer of such HEAVY duty knowledge? It must have weighed on his conscience like a ton of bricks. One of my favorite movies was always The Last
Temptation of Christ.
(Willem Defoe as a tortured and disturbed Jesus? What a great idea!)
Mainly, I'd just like to send my apologies to all the faithful out there. Maybe you have certain dogmas I would still disagree with, but the
important thing is that you have faith in something more than this fallible flesh.
Unless you are a spiteful pessimist, you cannot deny the beauty and truth in much of what Jesus taught. You could say it was all made up, and that
Jesus never existed... but then you're missing the message, and instead shooting the messenger, and that is the definition of ignorance, my
Thank you and peace.