reply to post by LateApexer313
Thanks Apexer.
I have studied this subject to death. child psychology, parenting, natural parenting.
And this is one trend that everyone is noticing.
It is of course not the only reason across the board. But I do believe that materialism has a lot to do with it.
I had a friend who was having a baby last year, put her in daycare at 9 weeks old.
Her excuse was that she coulnd't afford it, and wouldn't want to stay home anyways.
Then why have a child?
They couldn't afford it but they had a massive house and a corvette in the garage.
We have nothing, and we are struggling, yet I still don't want to work. I can't stand the thought of my kid being watched by someone else for 50
hours a week.
Not only do they stick them in daycare, they bottlefeed them, stick them to sleep in a room by themselves for 12 hours a night. Force them to sleep
through the night at 5 months.
So a child sees their actual parent, like what? 20 hours a week?
And they are a child that doesn't even know they are a seperate human being from their parents till 1.5 years.
I am not a huge fan of Dr. Laura Slessinger. But she said something I totally agree with. She tells people: when you had children, it stopped being
about you.
And that is the way I feel.
A problem too is that parents are made to feel that all children need to be created to be little einsteins. So now useless time and energy is wasted
on educating toddlers to learn shapes and colors and numbers. As if it makes a difference. Everything you buy is to teach kids to "learn."
I laughed when I was buying a teething ring and the package advertised "teaches baby how to grip!"
This takes even more precious bonding time away from parents.
More evidence comes out all the time that unstructured play is the most valuable there is. Children learn what they need to learn, and use their
imaginations.
toys like blocks and legos and lincoln logs are still the best, because it encourages the use of the imagination, as opposed to the electronic frog
that blinks numbers at you.
It comes down to confusion. parents just don't know what to do anymore. We are told that quantity matters, not quality. And hopefully that is
changing.
But like so many posters stated, nothing makes a child happy and successful and confident then a security and love, with guidance.
There is a book every parent should be required to read called:
How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child. by John Gottman.
And he points out that all the intelligence in the world doesn't matter if your child can be social.
it does not matter if he speaks five language if he always leaves his job in tantrum because he doesn't know how to interact with people.
Some of the smartest people work at McDonalds because so much was focused on artificial learning, that they don't know how to socialize with
people.
social interaction is the most important thing you could ever teach a child. That is why it is so important for parents to spend quality time with
their children, and for children to establish relationships with others.
I could say so much more on this subject, but I will leave that for my book.
[edit on 22-7-2008 by nixie_nox]