vaseline prices to increase- possible shortage

Due to the 2008 Presidential elections and its historical hype about change, hope, and straight talk, the price of Vaseline is on the rise. Experts predict that there is no end in sight and Vaseline companies could be seeing record profits, more than the last 20 years combined. Congress is keeping an eye on the situation and may subpoena the CEO's of these companies. Stores are worried that come November they won't be able to keep the product on the shelf and manufacturers are worried they won't be able to keep up with demand. Folks, this could lead to a shortage. A shortage when this product is most needed. When confronted with this issue, one candidate said that he could see the reason for people like himself who make $250,000 or more needing it but that the rest need not to worry. The candidate then went on to explain how many bills he, not Congress, passed to help change Americans. The other candidate said he personally uses the product. Maybe too much information. Anyway, he went on to say that Americans need to buy even more to help lubricate the economy. He went on with his straight talk about taking the grease out of pork to make more Vaseline. Based on what these candidates have stated, this reporter highly recommends you get your Vaseline early before we reach Peak Vaseline. Come January there may be no Vaseline left. And one thing is for sure, you can't borrow mine because I will have to make mine last till the 2012 Elections.

I thought the govt stopped using vaseline.
I know for a while the were stretching it by using sand.

Maybe things won't be as rough now!

I think KY jelly is the better way to go myself. Vaseline is petroleum based and very messy. KY on the other hand is water soluble, and is easy to wash off.

I think everyone will need to have some on hand come November. Add it to your survival cache now, lest you forget.

Vaseline? It's useless! it doesn't run my car or do magical wonders. I've never used Vaseline for anything and I've never owned a bottle. My sister had a bottle next to her bed all the time, I have no idea what she used that for. So if Vaseline goes up in price it wont have an impact in my budget.

You get Vasoline? I don't see what you guys are complaining about... I been taking it dry for years and no one kisses me first

In a lot of ways, I might as well be in prison

That was funny, but then again, while the corporate ruled government uses Vaseline to lubricate each other behinds, when it comes to screw the hard working Americans they do it with or without the Vaseline.

Now how the hell am I going to keep my roaches in my container?

This sucks.. bugstop blows...

Oh well.. figure something out.

And yes I keep roaches as feeders for 6 toads..

I do imagine that Vaseline has gone up in price during George W. Bush's presidency.
But that is because the price of Petroleum is 8 times a barrel what it was when he entered office. That has more to do with his lack of diplomacy and failed battle plans than with the amount of anal intercourse that his fellow Republicans have been engaged in. In fact, the bloated price of Petroleum is more like a sin tax from Oil Company owning Republicans to Anal Intercourse having Republicans. A profiting off their Sodomy.

I find it very interesting that this thread is also making the rounds today:
Anti-Gay Republican Caught Having Gay Sex

Do as I say, not as I do, Right?

DocMoreau

So what does this mean? Homosexual riots?

That would be the best protest ever.

I'm sorry, i just can't be an unhappy person if the end times will be this amusing.


oooooh... now I get it it... that's why it's called the end times...

[edit on 13-7-2008 by mopusvindictus]

[edit on 13-7-2008 by mopusvindictus]