Okay, so this thread is about sex, passionate, horny sex.

There is of course, a catch, always is when it comes to this Forum Area, being Psychology, Philosophy, and Metphysics. This thread is not for the silly idiotic talk of committing the act of sex, as in being descriptive and being dirty, but about philosophically an incident that happened tonight at work when I went in.

Would You Have Sex, Just To Have A Child?

Tonight when I got to work, someone I have not seen in the better part of four years was working again, she has decided to move back to the area, and is working where I work again.

This woman the last time I worked with her, wanted one thing from Me,...sex.

Okay, so you're wondering what the problem is, and why I brought it to ATS. The problem is, this woman wants to have sex with Me, just to get pregnant. No relationship, no money, just wants a donor of bodily fluids, in order to get knocked up. So, would you commit to having sex with someone, who wanted to do it for the effect of having a child? I'm not talking about having sex for enjoyment, or "friends with benefits", but for the desire to have a kid.

I'm hoping of course that the Moderators will leave this thread here, as it's not about graphic sexual activities, nor about pornography, and not about having a desire to hook up with someone via ATS, but about the actual forum area discussions we all enjoy having here, in that it is one of those moral, ethical, and social dilemas we as human beings sometimes face.

For who I am, when it comes to work, there is no such thing as a sexual relationship with a co-worker, it just adds more drama and stupidity to an already sometimes hectic workplace, so that I have discussed this with ATS, I am showing you how I am ethically and morally, and I am in no way stating I think you should be like I am. I respect your differences of opinion, that's great that you have your convictions, as I have the ones I was raised under, and I will respect your differences of opinion, and honorably agree to disagree with you.

I thought I would bring this interesting event into the discussion and see what transpires from this debate. I'll warn you now though, if you get out of hand, I won't blame the Moderators, and or Administration for banning you, and or shutting down this thread altogether, because of its controversial topic, I completely understand if that does end up happening.

The last time I worked with this woman, by the way, this is exactly what she wanted then as well, the difference here, is this time she flat out asked up front why I wouldn't be a "bodily fluid" donor.

Let's try to have a civil discussion, and enjoy a debate.

I turned her down then, just like I did tonight. Yes, she's attractive, yes I am attracted to her physically, just so you know.

Would You Have Sex, Just To Have A Child?

Please don't forget to flag, star, and thread-tag this thread, if you like it.


[edit on 12-7-2008 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

Hum. . . have ever come to your attention that is more to the body fluids begging that meet the eye, truly it doesn't take a rocket science to deduce that if somebody just wants a sperm donor all it has to do is visit a sperm bank.

I think you are putting to much attention into an issue that merits nome.

No.

Two simple reasons.

1) The law says you are finacially liable for that child and there will be hell to pay if they find out or this women changes her mind and wants a 'baby daddy'.

2) If this kid wants to know who daddy is, can you imagine if in 10 years time you get married and this women turns up, your wife answers the door and this women says .....

'hi I am looking for the father of my child'........

No way dude, don't do it. This has bad news written all over it.

Originally posted by marg6043
Hum. . . have ever come to your attention that is more to the body fluids begging that meet the eye, truly it doesn't take a rocket science to deduce that if somebody just wants a sperm donor all it has to do is visit a sperm bank.

I think you are putting to much attention into an issue that merits nome.

Yes, and to do that, it costs mega-money. If you think this merits no discussion, thanks for your input, it is something I thought was an interesting topic for discussion. Thanks.

Haha well if anything you should be flattered that this woman wants your jeans... and genes.

Its a good question. I'd certainly do it for someone I cared for deeply, like a best friend. I think I could disconnect myself enough to let the child live its life without me.

For some chick who I only know through the office?? Ehhh, I am thinking ulterior motive to some extent. I also question her mental stability, as this is a HUGE deal and something that should be talked at length about, not at the freaking water cooler.

So I vote no. Its a big deal, and by law, you're still responsible, unless you go through a direct donor program. I am all for permiscuous sex, I really am, but this is waaaay beyond permiscuous sex.

I also am not giving a woman my seed when she might end up a bad mother. The implications are just too vast and expansive. You don't know how you'll feel months, or even years from now about it...

So, I think I change my vote from no to..........
NO!!!!!

[edit on 7/12/08 by SantaClaus]

[edit on 7/12/08 by SantaClaus]

Parenthood is a life altering experience. Are you ready to become a father?

The reason I ask, is because even if she currently says there will be no strings involved, and she will not come looking for support, by law you will be required to support this child if the mother happens to change her mind.

That aside, I've been married for nearly 14 years and have two young sons, ages 7 and 2. Parenthood is tough enough with two parents, I can't imagine what your friend is thinking if she wants to be a single mother. If this question had been posed to me before I was married, I would have said NO WAY!

Casual sex is one thing between consenting adults. But procreational sex without any mutual bond or commitment just doesn't seem right.

I'm glad that you said no. It's nice to see a man think with his brain and not with his... Never mind, you know what I mean!

This ought to be an interesting thread!

Actually what it doesn't merit attention is the one you are putting when thinking about become somebody's father.

I believe that Dan Tanna did a good job explaining to you the bad side of the issue.

Once you become a father you are liable for that child until it reach 18 years of age or longer depending on the state laws.

The only question you should be asking yourself is are you ready to be a daddy?.

And as for the womb in waiting, If I was you I will run away from that woman as far as you legs will let you.

She is definitely trouble and you are the target

Unless you are enjoying the attention.

Originally posted by Dan Tanna
No.

Two simple reasons.

1) The law says you are finacially liable for that child and there will be hell to pay if they find out or this women changes her mind and wants a 'baby daddy'.

2) If this kid wants to know who daddy is, can you imagine if in 10 years time you get married and this women turns up, your wife answers the door and this women says .....

'hi I am looking for the father of my child'........

No way dude, don't do it. This has bad news written all over it.

Oh, I know better than to do this with this woman. Being that I come from a broken home, it's something I understand fully well. I also know about being responsible for this child, no matter what the mother would say. A court of law would say that the child needs to be taken care of no matter what contract or words were exchanged between two consenting adults.

Originally posted by LeeHawt
[snip]

*DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS*

This is totally unacceptable for this discussion. I'll thank you to either be mature here, or like I warned, the Mods and Admin will have words with you, not because I told them, it's their job, and that's what they do.

[edit on 12/7/2008 by watch_the_rocks]

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas

Originally posted by LeeHawt
[snip]

*DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS*

This is totally unacceptable for this discussion. I'll thank you to either be mature here, or like I warned, the Mods and Admin will have words with you, not because I told them, it's their job, and that's what they do.

My apology's I was just asking some question my intentions where not to offend i thought we where talking about sex, didn't know some at ATS where so uptight.

Anyways reading your post, you should give her your seed just make a legal agreement, just in case later she wants child support of something of that sort.

Best of luck

[edit on 12-7-2008 by LeeHawt]

[edit on 12/7/2008 by watch_the_rocks]

Originally posted by LeeHawt

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas

Originally posted by LeeHawt
[snip]

*DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS*

This is totally unacceptable for this discussion. I'll thank you to either be mature here, or like I warned, the Mods and Admin will have words with you, not because I told them, it's their job, and that's what they do.

My apology's I was just asking some question my intentions where not to offend i thought we where talking about sex, didn't know some at ATS where so uptight.

Anyways reading your post, you should give her your seed just make a legal agreement, just in case later she wants child support of something of that sort.

Best of luck

[edit on 12-7-2008 by LeeHawt]

It's okay. Thanks for clearing that up. This is a philosophical discussion.

I would not call it so much Moderators or Administrators being uptight, it has nothing to do with that, it has to do with the Terms and Conditions we are all under having agreed to, to become a member of this website, that's all.

[edit on 12-7-2008 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

[edit on 12/7/2008 by watch_the_rocks]

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas A court of law would say that the child needs to be taken care of no matter what contract or words were exchanged between two consenting adults.

Exactly what I was going to post. No agreement between you and the mother will negate the rights of the child, and the child will have the right to child support.

This woman sounds a bit nutty. Also, if you DO engage in any recreational relations with this woman, supposedly "just for fun" don’t leave any used condoms behind. Flush them. A while back there was a court case where a woman performed an act on a man, and well not to be to graphic but she did not swallow. She impregnated herself and when he took it to court the court upheld the demand for child support. They did not care HOW she got pregnant.


[edit on 12-7-2008 by Sonya610]

If I was a man, I'd ask "Why" before "Why me?"

Why does she want a child in the first place? Does she want the attention she gets from others while pregnant?

What does she expect the child to do for her? Provide love? What a load to put on a little person... The way you talk about her, it's as if she's totally selfish, looking to please herself only and has no regard for what these actions might do to her children in future.

In addition to telling her no, why not talk with her and try to plant a seed in her mind that maybe she's not making the wisest of decisions.

Because if someone doesn't speak candidly with her now, some other poor schmuck might end up in a bad position because she may not stop with just you.

Man.

I agree with everyone else who posted.
Kids are the worst hell on earth that a person can ask for.

On MANY occassions, I have known men to be in a "sperm donor" position, even unwillingly... And their entire lives screwed over forever because of women who have a power trip to screw them over ....just because she could.

It is a REALLY sick world when it takes "two to tango", yet one is given the power to make the choice to screw the other one over for life.

I am female, yet know full well not to trust women with anything.

No offense women of ATS, I just have too many male friends who have gotten their lives screwed over because they trusted a woman. And when it comes to kids.... Very, very bad combo.

I hope the legal system someday wises up to be more fair to men.

I love the title of this.... takes me back to the 90s.

Anyways, SKL, I am glad you dodged this.

The question at the heart of the thread aside, I think you showed enough self discipline to avoid getting involved in this, and you know, after the child is born, then comes the financial pinch, which will doubtlessly be partially offloaded onto yourself.

It is rather arrogant of her, assuming money IS a motivating factor behind this, to assume that you would be so gulliable to not see it coming. Clearly she underestimates your intelligence on that.

I might be wrong, that might not be her angle, but thats just an impression.

As for having sex just for procreation? well, I would say no, because I would like to think that child is going to be born and grow up with two parents who not only love the child, but love each other, thus helping to ensure a suitable environment for the child

Hiyah SKL,

Interesting question, it comes up more then people think...I have several friends that have been on both sides of this same dilemma.

This woman is either a whacko or a moron because she could just go to a sperm bank and pick a "donor." She can even pick a donor that's got characteristics she wants such as brains, sports or athletic abilities, color of hair and eyes...so why would she ask a co-worker??? She sounds too stupid to even HAVE kids...

But at least she ASKED you, what if she had totally been shady and just pretended she just wanted you then PURPOSELY got pregnant while you on the other hand were in the dark about her scheming....

I think you were right to turn the idiot down, no sense in taking part in dummying down the gene pool with such an idiot