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Wake UP!

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posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 12:39 AM
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I wrote this tonight, and I can't quite figure out where it ought to be placed. I hope this is the right place, but I can't be quite sure.

After reading, talking, and dealing with people not on my (our) wave-length I decided to write this.

I don't have a name for it yet, so I'm hoping members of the ATS community can help me and give me suggestions for names.

This is a first draft, I will undoubtedly alter it slightly in the days/months to come--but I felt somehow compelled to share this with all of you.

I hope you enjoy.




Why are you asleep?
Why are you asunder?
Can you not see my brother,
The tyranny you are under?

As the world around you falls,
your television, now it screams and it calls.

Inviting you in, injecting it's sin
making you hate your world within.

"Ignorance is bliss" --
or so I've been told...
Far to easy to enlist into the fold

"Enlist in what army? you may now ask.
An army of tyranny -- you accomplish their task.

Free thought, speech--such a noble doctrine,
now under a net the elite have us caught in.

Awaken yourself, shake off the control
Open your heart, but also your soul
Realize now, before the time is gone,
Their path, our leaders...
are nothing but wrong.





posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 12:44 AM
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Um, not sure what to make of it other than it kind of jumps around and repeats itself, no offense.

How about titling it:

"The Obvious"




posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 12:46 AM
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After reading, talking, and dealing with people not on my (our) wave-length I decided to write this


I would be interested however if you would elaborate on this and how it relates to our current state of affairs and your poem?

King



posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 12:56 AM
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Most people in my life are "sheeple"

I know a poem like this is "preaching to the choir". I do not live amongst a "choir".

I have to defend or hold my tounge around nearly everyone (my own family included) as they bitch and moan about the state of the economy and the world.

Yes, it is repetitive (one fault I agree on) -- I wrote it as such to reiterate the message home that "you" the "naive complaint ostrich" have been HAD.

I hoped that it might appeal to more than just people like-minded.

Times are going to get really rough in the next 4 years or so--and I want to TRY with whatever means I can (be it my own music/song/poetry/essays) to "awaken" more people to the scam they have been lead to belive in.

I'm not saying it's any great work of writing...but if I can get people I know to read it, maybe it'll crack a door they already had inside of them to "question" MSNBC or FOX news.

Subtle messages like songs can have drastic and far-reaching effects.

I take all criticism kindly. I am not looking to win any awards, accolades or praise. This is how *I* feel about the people I know/deal with on a daily basis.

Thanks guys for the input, perhaps in future revisions I might add more detail--but honestly to a non-conspiracy-minded person...mentioning the NWO , Bilderburgers, ect, ect...would illicit blank stares


I'm trying to reach out to a wider audience...maybe?

[edit on 12-7-2008 by MystikMushroom]



posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 01:04 AM
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By no means am I critisizing your work or your ideals, let's clear that up right now.

My intention is merely one of curiosity. It is very apparent that you are one of the few who are willing to help the world "wake up" as you so put it, and it is very interesting that you try a different medium. True that literature and music are the two greatest connections we as a people can have, however sometimes even this can come across as mindless ranting or conspiracy theories as well.

My thought on this matter would be one of two things:

1.You didn't answer my question on who/what it was you are communicating with on another "plane"
2. To have the most impact to your target audience, try a few simple things to focus your message and ideas into your poem:

-What is your audience? Who are they comprised of? What is your point of the message?
-Do you have supporting evidence of this conspiracy?
-Keep your tempo in the poem, you will keep readers flowing with you, not against you.

By no means am I meaning this to sound like an english lesson, only friendly suggestions to hone your message and maybe put into better words what you are feeling or trying to describe.

On a second issue, if you are referring to me as a complacent ostrich, you are sadly mistaken, as I am one of the biggest people to question everything. I am more awake spiritually and mentally than everyone around me. If you are going to use references to a specific set of people as such, then try to word it in a manner that might not offend the people your are illiciting responses from.

King

[edit on 12-7-2008 by Kingalbrect79]



posted on Jul, 12 2008 @ 01:30 AM
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Originally posted by Kingalbrect79
By no means am I critisizing your work or your ideals, let's clear that up right now.

My intention is merely one of curiosity. It is very apparent that you are one of the few who are willing to help the world "wake up" as you so put it, and it is very interesting that you try a different medium. True that literature and music are the two greatest connections we as a people can have, however sometimes even this can come across as mindless ranting or conspiracy theories as well.

My thought on this matter would be one of two things:

1.You didn't answer my question on who/what it was you are communicating with on another "plane"
2. To have the most impact to your target audience, try a few simple things to focus your message and ideas into your poem:

-What is your audience? Who are they comprised of? What is your point of the message?
-Do you have supporting evidence of this conspiracy?
-Keep your tempo in the poem, you will keep readers flowing with you, not against you.

By no means am I meaning this to sound like an english lesson, only friendly suggestions to hone your message and maybe put into better words what you are feeling or trying to describe.

On a second issue, if you are referring to me as a complacent ostrich, you are sadly mistaken, as I am one of the biggest people to question everything. I am more awake spiritually and mentally than everyone around me. If you are going to use references to a specific set of people as such, then try to word it in a manner that might not offend the people your are illiciting responses from.

King

[edit on 12-7-2008 by Kingalbrect79]


Oh first and foremost -- I appreciate being held accountable! I never wanted you to feel like you were "criticizing" my stuff -- hell...i wish someone would at times tell me what I could do to make it better...

On to your questions I have yet to answer:

1. In terms of "plane" I mean awareness of reality around us as it is today. Plane of existence. When I communicate/chat with fellows here and then go out into my world-at-large....it's like two different "planes of reality". I am trying to reach those that have never heard of words like NWO, North American Union" ... people totally engrossed into their own little micro-cosmic world of "Food Network and Fox News".

2. I agree, thank you. Target like an arrow...good assessment and I at times admit and feel my writing feels to "airy" and "fluffy".

-my audience are those who watch fox news, msnbc and don't "want" to really be straight-faced told the "truth".

-as I said, including dates/names and "evidence" into a poem as such would illicit blank stares. This was supposed to be a "opening door" poem -- make them want to do some google searches, maybe check out ATS and like-minded forums.

-tempo: I agree with you -- but I also have to disagree. I like flowing poems, poems that flow...but most of the good poems that I have read (in high level english classes) mix up the meter -- to break up the "sing-songy" effect. I broke this poem up into longer and shorter stanzas in order to emphasize certain "ideas" I wished to imprint on the "naive ostrich--don't want to know" mind.

Oh, no my friend -- you are one of the ones ON my plane of reality! I in no way wanted to convey in any certain or uncertain terms that you were a "complacent ostrich"!

Thanks dude! I can never learn enough, the more feedback I get -- the better I will get. I hate the word "criticism" -- I like "advice" better. It's less adversarial...you understand?

Let us all just pray that as we all feel the urge to help those around us "asleep"; we can find our own ways (be it music, art, protests, postings) to get the message out!

Much thanks man!

[edit on 12-7-2008 by MystikMushroom]

[edit on 12-7-2008 by MystikMushroom]



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 01:28 AM
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First thing, you might want to cut back on quoting the whole post or the mods will eat you for dinner and snack on your peom for desert. Break it up and answer questions point by point, it makes the reader more understanding of what's going on.

No harm no foul.


MystikMushroom
In terms of "plane" I mean awareness of reality around us as it is today. Plane of existence. When I communicate/chat with fellows here and then go out into my world-at-large....it's like two different "planes of reality". I am trying to reach those that have never heard of words like NWO, North American Union" ... people totally engrossed into their own little micro-cosmic world of "Food Network and Fox News".


So in laymans terms you aren't speaking about another plane on a physical or spiritual sense, more of an awareness of what's around you. Your reference to ostrich's is a little more clear now that you have answered that question, but I would use a different phrase when describing "the masses". Well, that would be a good term actually, "The Masses" Those people as you said who wish to ignore the world around them and see who wins then next episode of "Deal or no Deal". Don't refer to it/them as a plane because you confuse this idea with a plane of consiouceness such as ghosts, fourth dimension, astral travel, etc. I immediately thought you were "psychically" speaking with spirits around you, not informing the non-informed.


-as I said, including dates/names and "evidence" into a poem as such would illicit blank stares.


Not necessarily. By adding detail to your poem with examples you as the author still have the creative right to mold it to fit what you are trying to convey without making it sound like a book report. This will certainly catch more people's attention because you are adding emphasis to your point and solidifying your ideas.


-tempo: I agree with you -- but I also have to disagree. I like flowing poems, poems that flow...but most of the good poems that I have read (in high level english classes) mix up the meter -- to break up the "sing-songy" effect. I broke this poem up into longer and shorter stanzas in order to emphasize certain "ideas"


Again, this is still structured. The order of the poem is not as important as the flow. You don't have to come right out and make your main point in the beginning, you can wait until the end even so that the reader then "realizes" all of the information you have provided and puts it together in their own conclusion, rather than you trying to style it to convince them. All poems have structure or they are not effetive. Even Haiku's have a structure, and they seem to the uneducated an unfinished work.


Oh, no my friend -- you are one of the ones ON my plane of reality


Remember that reality is relative to the individual who experiences it. I'm glad you understand what I'm saying and I'm glad to help. Focus what you are trying to say, put some detail in there to back it up (You know the ATS'ers are gonna want it), and structure your topic.

Then you will get more people to answer you besides my sorry butt.



**typo**

[edit on 17-7-2008 by Kingalbrect79]



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 01:42 AM
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I know what to title your piece:

Sleep Alarm



posted on Jul, 17 2008 @ 02:15 AM
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Get it out in any way you can.

The new world order is already here, man. I think it's been here since possibly the 1800s, when corporations were given the same rights as humans.... except for some reason, no major corporations have ever had to suffer the death penalty for mass murder. Go figure... immune human killers and enslavers of mankind, who only have to pay a fee when something sinister they do gets out into the public mainstream. Pay off the bereaved, and if they don't stay quiet, kill them off in some other unrelated "accidents" or "cancers" or "apparent heart attacks". What people don't realize is that there is so much more that corporations do that doesn't get out into the public.

Our congress, our leaders, our media, our education systems, our military, our very bodies we inhabit.... have all been bought out by the corporations and the powerfully wealthy families in the world.

I think there was a study done that estimates that two families, the Rothschilds and the Rockafellers, own around 98% of the world's wealth, directly or indirectly. Whoever controls the wealth of the world controls the world.

You wanted one world government, you're only about 2 percent away. Oh fudgiepoo.

I don't believe anyone is going to wake up without something really really bad happening first... but rest assured, that from the darkness will come light. This time, our spirit will follow us out of the dark ages.

Don't believe in God or something more to this life than just this corporeal vessel and it's seemingly solid surroundings? Well, I have one thing to say to you: START!

This is a general blanket statement to all skeptics and people who think the world is moving along just dandy and will continue it's upward trend (? did I miss the trend ?) ad infinitum. Oh how exciting our future will be. When will our masters bestow this glorious future upon us?

The key to collapsing the power structure is to completely abandon dependence on corporations and governments.

I'm not sure how it will happen, but it will happen sooner than you think. The philosophy is already spreading like wildfire, and people getting are sick and tired of this fake plastic society. They don't want more war. They don't want the latest new force fed crap that is advertised in the media. They just want to be. Maybe not everyone fully realizes it in exactly those terms yet, but it's nagging at the back of many many people's minds.

Thank you for the poetry, and you certainly are not alone.

One suggestion I might make is to plant seeds in people individually. Don't expect to talk about 9/11 in a public group setting. Focus on individuals.
Ask simple questions like "How satisfied with life are you at this point?"
or "Do you ever feel like there's something wrong with the world?"

People are guarded. Most people think about these things, but they push it to the very backs of their minds because they would rather think that they are crazy and that everything is fine, because most people don't trust their intuition. They don't think too deeply about the roots of their frustrations... and so... this has always boggled my mind... they pay a "professional" to tell them what they are thinking and why.

What? How could someone else possibly have any idea about what's really on your mind except you??? Let's face it, nobody is completely honest with their psychiatrist, and if they are, they are dooming themselves to be medicated and labeled with some "mental disorder".

Blah... there are just so many facets of society and conditioned responses to it all that I find ridiculous. If you can't cope with constant fakery and unnatural domestication, you're insane? If you can't pay attention to the indoctrination they drill you with at school, you have an emotional disorder?
If you don't want to work for practically nothing your whole life just to barely get by and waste your time making somebody else rich, while ignoring your heart's true desire, you are lazy?

Who ever said I needed a PhD and to have to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars and waste 10 or more years in "schools of higher learning" in order to learn how to do and in in order to be certified and allowed to do what I love?

I'm sorry, but society as we know it today is a giant crock of bull#, and like the OP said... y'all who are here to just be skeptics and be patriots and to shoot down other people's ideas better wake up, because you will be stuck in the trenches beside us when push comes to shove. You might as well hear some common sense now, while things are still relatively calm here in the Western World... because it's all about to explode in chaos sooner than you were hoping for.

Remember to keep your cool, though. Help your neighbor, instead of stealing from them or anyone.

We all need to keep our cool and realize that this war will be won by peace, love, and understanding... not a hail of gunfire.

Peace, and good job OP.



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