help me please (problems in loooove ) :(, page 1
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reply posted on 5-7-2008 @ 09:04 AM by Lysergic
reply to post by Betty Swollocks


To be 14 again.

Let me say this bro, sounds like your first love. Enjoy it while you can't but don't get too discouraged when/if it end but most likely it wont last, sorry to say but thats just how the cookie crumbles.

Don't feel bad either, your going to have quite a number or ladies, or maybe just a special select few. As you get older you might not even be so much into dating but just uhh ya know, friendly benefits.

Just don't trick yourself into thinking this is the one you will marry, this is your soul mate. WHY? Because people change, you are 14, you will change as you mature as will your crush, change can cause people to grow apart.

Only advice I can offer to you is live it up, embrace the unknown, and regret nothing, but by regretting nothing I'm saying don't let other opportunities pass you by bro.

Always remember Life Goes On.



reply posted on 5-7-2008 @ 09:09 AM by Sonya610
Realize a couple of things. You are 14, if you do start a romantic relationship with this girl it probably will end sooner than expected. More important, first love (puppy love, whatever people want to call it) can be EXTREMELY intense, and many people will say the breakup with their first love was the hardest they ever experienced in the purely emotional sense.

Of course that is because as an adolescent your hormones are whackier than that of an adult. I am not saying your feelings are not real, if you feel them they are real at that moment, I am just telling you that if you get involved with her you are prone to extremes in emotion and it could get painful.

Secondly, if you want to pursue something with this girl find out more about her likes and dislikes. Think of some type of activity that you two could do together and casually ask if she wants too (so you are not officially professing your love, you are casually saying "hey you like that too? Well saturday I was thinking about going...do ya wanna come?)

If you have a problem with saying stupid things then encourage HER to talk and you listen (don't run your mouth and try to impress her). Girls love to talk, ask lots of questions. Also have safe, neutral subjects ready to bring up. Think twice before saying things about her or your feelings for her etc...think at LEAST twice and that might help.

Oh...I totally missed the boyfriend thing. You can wait it out, but like the poster above said keep your eyes open, or wait until there are boyfriend problems and be her shoulder to cry on. But don't pass up other opportunities in the meantime.

[edit on 5-7-2008 by Sonya610]


reply posted on 5-7-2008 @ 11:20 AM by Anonymous ATS
reply to post by Betty Swollocks


Romeo and Juliet were 14 and killed themselves foolishly for "love" when they thought they could never be together.

That said... you're supposed to do foolish things for love at 14... anything short of "stalking" or "suicide".

So take BIG RISKS! Tell this girl that you're into her and you think about her all the time. Tell her that you are crushing on her as much as she is on her boyfriend and ask her if her affection is really being returned in the way she thinks you would return it.

BE COMPETITIVE! Women love the EGO BOOST that comes from having two guys compete for their affection.

BE FUNNY and SMART! Women like wit and humor (at 14, they do not appreciate your knowledge of the periodic table as much as they appreciate your ability to make them laugh... come to think of it... they never will).

BE INNOVATIVE: I once bought a blank white 12 piece puzzle at a card store and wrote 12 words of a "secret admirer" note... each on one piece. I mailed them every day for 2 weeks. The second to last piece was "signed". The last piece, I handed to her in person and she threw her arms around me and kissed me. Turns out, that had been the most romantically intense 2 weeks of her life and all her girlfriends were DYING to know who the guy was. BTW... she was an ELEVEN and totally out of my league... and BTW... there's no such thing when you realize the above.

BE CONFIDENT: You WILL FAIL in love... and in all likelihood, with this girl. So enjoy the moment for what it is... an opportunity for you to hone your craft as a RISKY, COMPETITIVE, FUNNY, SMART, INNOVATIVE, CONFIDENT guy who will impress the socks off this girl and others (who knows... maybe more).

Also... remember that confidence comes much more from overcoming failure than from securing victory all the time. So if you never take the big risks, you never have the confidence that comes from the big success that you never thought you could have.
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