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(LSWC) Helena

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posted on Jun, 25 2008 @ 11:10 PM
Ok, so this my first attempt at writing a short story so be nice.... although obviously constructive critisism is welcome. hope you like it.


The rain streaked down the window as he paced up and down the
living room of his flat. With a tear in his eye and dark
thoughts of giving it all up in his mind he reached for his
mobile. He almost looked at the picture on the screen. He put
it back on the coffee table.

Tom hadn't seen the photo which served as the background on his
phone for three months, not since the night of the accident. He
was used to using it so could still operate it without having
to look at it.

He was nearing a breakdown, he could feel it. He couldn't cope
without her, it was too much for him to take.
He had been a mess for months now, barely a shade of the man he
used to be... when he was happy.

He decided after a short while however, to put his problems
aside for the sake of his father's happiness. After all, it was
his Dad's 75th birthday and he was having a party. All the
family was invited including the cousins that Tom never saw. It
was sure to be boring as hell.

He grabbed the phone and car keys from the table and left,
slamming the door behind him.

Still distracted by his thoughts and emotions, he drove
headlong into the continuing downpour.

He missed the sense of togetherness, he missed the warmth now
gone from his heart but most of all, he simply missed feeling

The phone rang and the tune the phone played seemed to be
exactly in time with his window wipers which were struggling to
keep the windscreen clear. After a moments pause he grabbed the
mobile making sure not to look at the face on the screen.

"Hi mum" he said trying to sound happier than he was.

"Thomas, I've been trying to get hold of you all day, where
have you been?"

"Sorry mum, my..uh.... I left my phone round a friends and only
just got it back"

It was the first thing that came to him and must not have
sounded very convincing at all.

"I'm on my way, don't cut the cake till I get there ok?
I won't be too long."

"Ok honey, just be careful driving in this weather, I'll see
you soon."

"ok bye mum"

He let a tiny smile creep onto his face as he thought of his
parents whom he hadn't seen for a few weeks but the moment was
fleeting as the bright blue light reflected off every raindrop
in front of him like a thousand tiny blue Christmas lights. He
knew exactly what it was and his heart sank once more.

He pulled over.

"Sir, you know driving while talking on a mobile phone is
against the law don't you?"

The police officer had a self importance about him and stood
silent waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry, It was only for a few sec..."

"Sir, its not the issue that it was only for a few seconds but
that you did it at all... while speeding."

Speeding! Tom thought, If he was then it was only a few Mph
above the limit. He considered trying to reason with him but
gave in and stayed quiet.

"sir, I'm going to run you and your vehicle through the system,
can I see your licence please?"

Tom reached into his pocket.

"you also have a brake light out. As well as going about 10
miles-an-hour faster than the speed limit. While on your

"I'm going to have to take you down to the station."

Tom gave the officer his licence and he turned, took a couple
of steps toward his police car and stopped. Tom thought he
heard the crackle of a radio but couldn't be sure, he struggled
to see what he was doing through the blur of the water but was
still distracted enough not to really care.

This was bad, and He didn't need it at this point in his life.
On top of that he was definitely going to miss his Dad's party.
He sank down in his seat and let out a long sigh.

A brief few moments later the police officer returned.

"Sir, I have to respond to an emergency, Think yourself lucky
and take this as a warning ok?" He said handing back the

"uh.. certainly officer, I won't do it again."

Tom sat bemused and stationary in his car for a few seconds and
thought of how empty his words sounded. The police car screamed
passed him with lights and sirens on full, He felt his car rock
a little as it went by. He reached down and started his engine
but stopped it again just as quickly and sank deep into his

The all too familiar feeling of tears welling up in his eyes
returned to him and the overwhelming feeling of loss was
amplified by his loneliness.

Again and again, dark thoughts raced through Tom's mind. Why
had this happened? Did he deserve this? It just doesn't seem
fair. He could just end it all. It wouldn't take much, just
letting his car drift of the road and into a tree or a ditch
or, or...

Suddenly, like a flash of lightening, A random memory of a
conversation long since passed popped into his head.

The soft, caring voice he missed so much came to him like a
long deep breath after an eternity of suffocation.

"Tom, you know your always going to be disappointed in life if
you don't appreciate what you have while you have it."

The voice said.

"Loved ones will die and you have to be strong enough to know
that its the way things are, and the way things should be. If
there's one piece of advice I can give you, its appreciate who
and what you have because change is the only inevitable thing
in life."

Tom remembered at the time just being totally intoxicated by
her eyes, her smile, her scent, her voice, the tiny motions she
made with her hands while she spoke. Her words had seemed wise
at the time and that very night, he remembered, was the night
he fell for her.

But the words now seemed to take on a more urgent purpose and a
deeper, more immediate meaning. As if only now could he derive
their true worth.

Confused, but infused with a new sense of intent, Tom started
his engine, wiped the tears from his face and pulled onto the
motorway. He could still make the party and see his parents.

His mum was holding a plate of pineapple-cheese sticks in one
hand as she opened the door with the other. He kissed her on
the cheek, and gave her a massive hug.

"I'm glad you came honey, how have you been?" She said.

"up and down.. you know" he said. But today’s not about me,
where's the birthday boy?"

Toms mother giggled as she pointed to the living room.

"Your Father is in there dear, go on through"

posted on Jun, 25 2008 @ 11:17 PM
Tom walked into the room and was met by a loving smile on his
father's face. He was clearly very pleased to see Tom and it

After a few introductions and a piece of birthday cake adorned
with the full 75 candles, All the guests spent the entire
evening, talking, reminiscing and enjoying each-others company.
Tom was actually amazed with himself for being able to find the
strength to put his grief aside if only for a few hours, but it
made all the difference, He'd never felt closer to his parents.

After saying his goodbyes and making absolutely certain to tell
both his mother and father how much he loved them and how much
he appreciated everything they had done for him, Tom left
his parents house and began to walk to the taxi rank which was
only a few streets away, leaving his car on the driveway.

With a mixed sense of elation and a strange feeling of
accomplishment, Tom wandered down the street looking at the
floor, busy with his thoughts. He stopped outside the pub where
his Dad had taken him on his 18th birthday and let out a laugh
at the hazy memory of being sick on the pavement somewhere near
where he was now stood.

With a grin on his face he made his way to the taxi rank, and

It was early when Tom's phone woke him up. He grabbed his
mobile from the bed-side table. "Hello?" he said, still a
little delirious from being woken, He'd not even looked at who
was calling.

"Tommy" His mother said.

He was instantly awake, his mother sounded different, she never
called him Tommy He knew something was wrong.

"what is it Mum?"

"its your Father....." She began to cry.." he's had a heart

The phone dropped from Tom's hand. This couldn't be happening,
He felt a hopeless desperation take hold of his soul and he
began weeping uncontrollably.


Two months had passed since His Father's death and Tom sat in
his Mother's house after spending the afternoon with her. She
was a strong woman but Her husband's death had taken its toll
and she somehow looked older to him. After making sure she had
all she needed, Tom took a last look at the chair his Dad used
to sit in and left. He felt numb.

It was a clear evening and the sun lit up the clouds
beautifully on the horizon as they cast long shadows on the
fields in the distance.

As he pulled off the driveway, Tom scowled at the vista he was
presented with and thought of how he would never derive
pleasure from anything again. Everything seemed pointless and
cruel to him now, he had suffered too much. He hated the world
for taking away his loved ones and he hated his Mother's belief
that they were in a better place.

Tom did not agree, although he never said so in front of her.
He did not believe in anything religious or supernatural and to
him, the reality was that they were dead and gone and that’s

Stopping at the traffic lights down the road, he looked around
and noticed the pub. It had been refurbished since he last saw
it and looked a lot different. As he realised he didn't care
the memory of a memory came back to him like a soap bubble on a

His Dad's party.

That night he remembered standing outside being a little bit
drunk thinking about his eighteenth and feeling happy. That
night was probably the only night since the accident that he
had actually felt anything but grief.

He waited for a moment, caught up in his thoughts. His phone
buzzed, it was set on silent. He picked it up expecting a text
message but there was none, only a blank reminder. He didn't
even remember setting it, or why! Tom felt frustrated and threw
the phone on the passenger seat. He put his head in his hands.

The lights changed from amber to green but he didn't notice. He
was now staring down at his phone, laying upside-down. He
couldn't see the picture it displayed. He hadn't looked at it
for months. He always avoided looking at it
but would never even consider changing it.

He looked up wondering how long he'd been sat at a green light
shook his head and then pulled into the pub car park.

Why he felt compelled to go into the pub and have a drink, he
didn't know, but he walked in anyway.

The place was near empty except for a couple sat in the corner
and a lone man at the bar reading the paper.

As Tom approached the barman to order his drink, the man to his
right sat at the bar looked up. Tom didn't acknowledge him and
sat down on a stool.

Reaching for his wallet, Tom noticed the man still looking at

"its you!" the man said.

Tom recognised the voice. Although this time it was lacking
the self-important edge. It was the police officer who had
pulled him over the night of his Father's party.
Tom had completely forgotten about the entire event and hadn't
thought about it once since it had happened.

"its You!" the man repeated.

"Your a lucky guy, I’ll tell you that!" He exclaimed.

The very last thing that Tom felt he was, was lucky, He felt
like smashing this guys head into the bar is how he felt!

"that was a weird night for me, that night I pulled you over
for speeding. Do you remember? Do you remember me?"

"yes, yes" Tom growled." He didn't even want to hear what the
man had to say and was just about to turn and leave.

"Well, that emergency call. The one that I had to respond to
when I let you go... It never happened. They tell me I must
have imagined it!"

"Its been driving me insane thinking about it! I'm sure that it
happened, I remember talking to a woman and getting the details
of a car accident!"

Tom must have looked confused because the man continued.

"you think that’s messed up?"

"you Wait till you hear the really strange part"

"After I took a roasting from my boss who now thinks I'm mad by
the-way, I ran the details through the system, turns out the
accident DID happen.... only it happened three months before
that night!"

"can you believe that? I dunno what to make of it myself... I
just don't know."

Toms mind was now racing, could it be?

"what other details do you know about the accident?"
Tom blurted.

He could barely get the words out as his brain tried to put the
pieces together.

"The records said it was a young woman, late twenties, she died
at the scene.

her name was Helena Patrick"

Tom's World spiralled around him in the moments before he
passed out. Then blackness nothing.

[edit on 25-6-2008 by Chonx]

posted on Jun, 25 2008 @ 11:18 PM
The sun shone through the window as Tom sat on the sofa in his
flat. So much had happened. How to deal with it all, he didn't
know. But he did feel for the first time that he could deal
with it all. He was thankful, to who or what he didn't know,
but he was thankful all the same.

He thought about the last time he saw his Dad and how he had
almost missed that opportunity. That was such a strange night.
He thought about fate and whether or not he believed in...

His phone buzzed, Tom picked it up and read the text message.
It was from a friend inviting him out for drinks on the
weekend. He replied and then put the phone down making sure not

to look at the background image. He went to put the phone on
the coffee table but stopped.

He slowly turned the phone around in his hand until the screen
was facing him and pressed a button. The screen lit up.

Tom smiled properly for the first time since she had passed
away, her smile now greeting him more warmly and lovingly than

He was thankful for the time they had together.

She looked so beautiful in that picture, he hadn't seen it for
so long.

With his hand shaking and tears in his eyes Tom uttered softly.

"I'll always love you Helena, Thank you so much."

The End

[edit on 25-6-2008 by Chonx]

posted on Jun, 26 2008 @ 10:55 AM
Well told. I enjoyed the very specific details.
(Is the image on the phone still there?)

[edit on 26-6-2008 by SIEGE]

posted on Jun, 26 2008 @ 12:20 PM
I also enjoyed it.

Very good job for your first try.

Keep up the good work.

posted on Jun, 26 2008 @ 12:50 PM
thanks guys, I appreciate it. I would like to know specifically in which areas I need to improve if anyone would like to offer some advice, be honest, I need to know how I can improve my writing. thanks in advance.

siege, i'm not sure what you mean about the picture...

posted on Jun, 28 2008 @ 05:41 PM
You are a natural, keep bringing us your gift.

posted on Jun, 29 2008 @ 09:57 AM
Thanks antar. Writing is something which I really want to get good at. Having all the other entries to read has given me so many tips and ideas, its awesome!

posted on Jul, 2 2008 @ 09:49 AM
very well writen andy....truly caught each thought, emotion and scene well! good read and look forward to more!

happy days

posted on Jul, 6 2008 @ 08:22 AM
reply to post by The-Brown-One

Cheers Tom, appreciate that dude!

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